"The Psychology of Emotions in Life" Author: Peng Kaiping
As we mentioned in the previous section, emotions such as sadness and disappointment have the potential to change in depression. They remind us to focus on neglected needs and desires and to re-examine ourselves, which can help us grow as individuals.
So, in this section, let's look at how positive emotions such as hope, joy, and happiness can help us in our lives.
A sense of hope is inspired
In 1991, the famous psychologist Snyder put forward the theory of hope, and he defined "hope" as the sum of the mental energy and path energy that individuals have when pursuing goals.
According to Professor Snyder, mental energy is the emotional drive that drives an individual to achieve a goal, while path energy is a mental plan to achieve a goal. Taken together, a sense of hope can make people make positive and determined choices and inspire them to achieve more.
A psychological experiment conducted by Harvard psychology professor Rosenthal strongly confirms the positive effects of a sense of hope.
At a general elementary school in the United States, Professor Rosenthal randomly selected a number of students, gave their list to the classroom teacher, and told the teacher that the students had developmental potential.
After a semester, Professor Rosenthal returned to the elementary school and was pleasantly surprised to find that the students on the list had improved significantly in both their grades and intellectual performance.
So, what's going on here? It turned out that Professor Rosenthal's affirmation convinced the teachers that the students on the list were excellent. Later in the teaching process, the teacher will inadvertently expect more from those students. Students feel the teacher's expectations and are motivated, so they reshape their self-image according to the direction and level that the teacher wants, so that they really become better.
From this experiment, we can see that a sense of hope can work miracles.
So, how can we build a sense of hope in our daily lives so that it can help us grow?
First of all, we need to cultivate goal-oriented thinking and set a clear goal for ourselves.
Professor Snyder suggested that the best goals to aim for were those that were achievable and at the same time not so easy to achieve. To this end, he proposed a SMART principle for setting goals, including the following five requirements.
First, the goals we set should be specific. For example, when setting exercise goals, we can't just say "I want to stay in shape" or "I want to get a good habit of exercising", but rather how much weight loss or muscle gain.
Second, the goals we set should be measurable. For example, when exercising, making sure that each cardio workout lasts at least 20 minutes and that you complete at least 3 sets of strength training can help us accurately measure progress and effectiveness.
Third, the goals we set should be attainable. It's easy to see why, for example, we set exercise goals that are realistic in terms of personal health and timing, and if we set goals that are too high and beyond our ability to bear, it is unreasonable.
Fourth, the goals we set should be relevant. For example, the type and frequency of exercise we choose to stay fit is consistent with our overall physical fitness goals, which is correlated.
Fifth, we should set a time-bound goal. Setting a deadline for achieving our goal, such as three months or ten weeks, will prevent us from giving up quickly or procrastinating indefinitely.
The SMART principle is a very concrete and practical tool that we can check with these few indicators when setting goals to ensure that we set reasonable goals and achieve them.
Second, to build a sense of hope, we can choose what will best enable us to succeed.
Many times, there are many ways to achieve a goal, and we can list them and choose the one that has the greatest chance of success and is most beneficial to us. Our goal is to find the optimal solution and make it easier to achieve our goals.
Third, we need to take positive action. One of the most important ways to build a sense of hope is to take action. After setting a goal, we need to be proactive. In the process of action, we can use the power of habit to simplify the steps of action. For example, if we decide to get up in the morning and go for a run, we can put our gym clothes at the head of the bed and our running shoes at the door the night before, and go out as soon as we get up. This can help us reduce the cost of decision-making and make it easier to achieve our wishes.
Finally, do a good job of time management. The factor that has the greatest impact on a sense of hope is usually a lack of time, so we should set aside more time for important goals.
Maybe you're used to having a full schedule, but we need to understand that not everything you have to do, and not everything requires the same amount of effort.
In the face of complexity, we need to make trade-offs and leave our energy for the most important things, so that we can create lasting value and hope for our lives.
Happy exploration
Okay, with hope out of the way, let's take a look at happiness. Psychologists at the University of Oxford have revealed a truth about happiness: happiness does not originate from a specific region or a single pleasure center in the brain, but is determined by the connections of neurons.
When we experience happiness, it's actually a collective activation of a slice of neurons in the brain. There are tiny gaps between neurons that connect and compensate for these gaps depending on a chemical called a "neurotransmitter." It is these neurotransmitters that enable neurons to communicate with each other, integrate information, and ultimately produce pleasurable mental experiences.
At present, scientists have found that there are four main neurotransmitters in the human brain that are closely related to the feeling of pleasure: dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin. Each neurotransmitter has its own unique mechanism of action, and understanding how they work can help us find ways to spark joy.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that stimulates desire, and when we are full of cravings for something, the brain secretes a lot of dopamine that drives us to pursue desires and gain pleasure in the process.
To stimulate dopamine production, we can try to engage in activities that excite us, such as participating in outdoor activities, learning new skills, etc., which can make us feel happy and happy.
The second neurotransmitter that gives us a sense of pleasure is endorphins. It is a morphine-like biochemical that can be produced on its own inside the brain and is known as a "natural analgesic." Not only does it relieve pain, but it also regulates mood and relieves stress.
Exercise or focused effort triggers the release of endorphins, creating a sense of accomplishment and joy. Therefore, maintaining a regular, regular exercise, or exploring our hobbies and finding something to stick to, can make it easier for us to be happy.
The third neurotransmitter associated with feelings of pleasure is oxytocin, also known as the "hormone of love." Scientific studies have found that both women and men secrete oxytocin, which relieves stress, enhances love and belonging, and promotes harmony in interpersonal relationships.
In daily life, any behavior that enhances interpersonal interaction, such as hugging, talking, warm companionship, etc. can stimulate the secretion of oxytocin and enhance the feeling of happiness.
The fourth neurotransmitter associated with pleasure is called serotonin. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter associated with autonomy, a sense of control, and influence, and when we feel in control of our lives, or when we feel influential in our relationships, serotonin production increases, bringing satisfaction and happiness.
In short, by understanding and harnessing the role of these neurotransmitters, we can pursue and maintain pleasure more scientifically.
The pursuit of happiness
Happiness is a deeper and more holistic state than happiness. Professor Peng believes that happiness is not only a feeling, but also an appreciation, satisfaction and recognition of human nature, and a kind of happiness full of meaning.
So, what factors are closely related to happiness? We often think that happiness and wealth are closely related, but Kahneman, a professor of economics at Princeton University and a leading figure in the study of happiness, points out that there are many misunderstandings about happiness. His research reveals that the relationship between happiness and wealth is not as direct as we think.
Professor Peng combined the classical theory of happiness science and used big data research to draw a "China Happiness Map", and found that Hangzhou, Yangzhou, Jiaxing, Changsha and other cities with high happiness index, and Beijing and Shanghai, which are economically developed, did not enter the top 50 of the happy city ranking.
This shows that there is no necessary relationship between happiness and economic strength, and the relationship between urban happiness index and per capita GDP is not linear. At the same time, Professor Peng also found that in the early stage of social development, there was a shortage of materials, and the happiness index rose rapidly with economic development. But when the economy grows to a certain level, the relationship between happiness and the economy becomes less close.
Professor Peng's discovery not only verifies the "inflection point theory" from large-scale data, that is, there is an inflection point in the association between wealth and happiness, beyond which happiness has nothing to do with wealth, but also confirms the "law of diminishing happiness" in Murphy's law - with the increase of material and wealth, people's satisfaction and happiness may decrease.
But in reality, the "law of diminishing happiness" does not mean that happiness has really decreased, but that our hearts have changed. The value of what once brought happiness has not changed, but we are used to this feeling and no longer see it as happiness. This understanding is essential for us to recognize happiness.
Based on this understanding, Professor Peng proposed the "Five Virtues" happiness practice method to break the "law of diminishing happiness", give more meaning to life, and make happiness last.
The so-called "five charities" refer to the words and bodies, the eyes, the face and the heart.
Among them, Yan Shi is to pay attention to positive words, and often communicate with those who are optimistic, energetic, and virtuous. At the same time, talking about positive, positive topics can lead to a pleasant physical and mental experience that can make us feel happy.
Body practice is to strengthen physical exercise, such as running for 15~30 minutes, the brain will secrete a variety of positive neurotransmitters, making us feel happy and energetic. In addition, listening to music and smelling aromas also brings pleasure to our body.
Eye giving is about cultivating the ability to observe, to actively spot the subtle changes in life, to see the beautiful moments in life, which will also enhance our sense of well-being.
The "Yan" in Yan Shi is the "Yan" of the face, which refers to showing our positive side and conveying positive energy with our actions and expressions. For example, smiling not only gives us a pleasant mood, but also has the power to infect others.
The final mental giving refers to the cultivation of inner perception. Many times we tend to focus too much on improving our execution skills, but neglect the ability to feel the good things in life. We need to learn to deeply experience those things that are full of meaning and value, and strive to achieve the unity of knowledge and action.
Happiness is the accumulation of feelings for the little things in life, and it is an instant experience of our body, mind and spirit. Only by truly feeling and experiencing life can we become happy people.