(a) You're gone, and we'll send you back
Listening to the news of Brother Wen's unexpected departure, I learned it from my father's phone. It was 19:39 on the evening of July 31st, my mobile phone was charged in the bedroom, and I saw a missed one; my father said: You are gone, I came down in the morning to see Bo and Uncle Jiantao moving the family's things out; on the way to town, I heard someone say that there was an accident.
I asked: What happened? Dad said he didn't know, and heard that people would return from Xi'an tomorrow.
My heart sank, I was flustered, I didn't know who to ask and who to say; my father rarely told me about the things in the family, most of them were told to me by my mother, I was restless, I had no idea, I turned around; I urged my mother to say, go down and walk. My mom said I'd wash the pot. I'm impatient, you come back and wash it again.
After waiting for a while, I went downstairs with my mother. On the fire runway of the community, I said to my mother: You know about Brother Wen, right? My mom said something. I said it, my mother was surprised and sad; we walked together, and together we remembered the kindness and stories of our two families over the years, and our hearts were full of mixed feelings!
It is better to act than to act. In the morning I told my wife; she sighed when she said "Ah." I said I was going back to my hometown for a few days; my mom said, "I want to go back too"; then I booked the ticket for the next night, calculated the time when my friends moved to celebrate dinner, and we did the nucleic acid test, and returned to Xianyang Airport at 22:00 at night.
For you, I have too many thoughts and too many memories, such as the babbling of water, this quiet night let the thoughts flow...
Last year, when my mother returned to Xi'an, you drove from Xi'an to pick up, ate KFC to buy drinks, looked at it and smirked, and said, "You can eat what you bought"; sent back to your hometown town and took it to eat hot pot. Every time you know that my mother went to Xi'an, no matter how busy I was, I was sent to the airport from Xi'an; in the year of my wedding on National Day in 2014, before I set off from Kunming, you arranged for the driver and the car to pick me up, directly from Xianyang to 2 cars, and send us back to our hometown.
National Day home for the wedding, you arranged 3 cars and 3 drivers for us to use, and you arranged for important guests to receive busy before and after; before I met my engaged parents, you said whether to drive 8 cars from Xi'an to Xiangtan.
And tonight, facing the vast Xianyang Airport like the Black Sea, for the first time, I felt that my heart was empty, the road was so strange, who would pick us up in Xi'an in the future? Home has no return to Shangluo bus, ask for directions are all packaged strictly refuse people in the solemnity of thousands of miles, I recently found a T1 terminal transformation of the hotel, no windows only exhaust fan hotel, the front desk girl is very enthusiastic, sent us two copies of the refrigerator to take out the dough skin, I ate the stomach wow cool wow cool, and ate 10 yuan a package of instant noodles to warm the stomach.
Tonight I felt the strange, cold and hot human temperature of Xi'an, but this temperature can no longer have anything to do with you; in the morning, I and my mother's 09:00 car back to Shangluo, a minibus is 6 people, sparse and sparse We are both chatting in the back row about memories.
My mom said she slept soundly last night; she hadn't slept the night before, and her thoughts were flooding.
I know you've loved the hustle and bustle all your life and want to buy 10 or 20 wreaths, but it doesn't seem to be okay to write my name. When I got to town, my dad and I bought 4 wreaths; our husband and wife, my sister and my brother-in-law bought a bunch of burnt paper. Walking to the reservoir, Dad stopped in the shade to rest, and suddenly said that he forgot to buy a cannon.
I have the impression that only red things have cannons in rural affairs; I quickly asked my father to call my second uncle and let me buy the biggest roll of cannons from the town and send them to us; when I got home, the relatives of my hometown helped in the courtyard, and I didn't have time to say hello, so I went back to the hall to put incense, looking at your smile and life photos in front of the spiritual hall, I think you should be happy that I came back!
Then I went to the ice coffin to look at your remains, and I couldn't help but cry and trembled, lying on Sister Mi Hong's shoulder to wipe my tears, and she comforted me and relieved me.
According to the customs of my hometown, if there are people who deliver paper in white things, the lingtang will have to cry; watching a few children wearing white filial piety, watching the aunt's weeping with white hair; my tears are a few noses, and when they are finished, I feel inexplicably much more comfortable in my heart!
(2) Memories of Kunming and Yuncheng
"Light rain, light rain" As soon as the child came out, I shouted it, so repeated two or three times, the child was a little curious about me!
"You're 8 years old" "Who said I was 10 years old",
"Have you seen me?" "I don't remember"
"I've seen you in Changsha"
"That, a bit of an impression"
"I'll show you a picture"
"I don't know this old man"
"This old man is a famous writer in the country"
"Oh, I don't know, but this picture was made by my dad"
"Oh, I don't know yet"
……
Xiao Yu is your youngest child; the eldest three, the big morning, the second morning, and the third morning are all sons.
At this time, I think that although you have not read too many books, but "the yesterday, today, tomorrow of life, with a little rain in the morning, it should be a beautiful comfort and romance in the world!" "My brother has been doing engineering for 35 years, it's too hard, I guess I want to make it easier for a few babies!"
2020-1-29, I said "Brother, you are not busy, come to Kunming, let's chat!" "He didn't say anything about booking a ticket, and I went to pick him up. On the car home, you told me a lot of views on the old man, my father and my mother, his father and mother, I felt that I was mature and peaceful a lot, and the reconciliation with my parents told me to reconcile with my parents. It seems to be different from previous years.
When I came home to eat the thin rice soup pancakes made by my mother, you brought a big bag of Shaanxi snacks, gave the child a big red packet, and we went to the hotel at night to talk about one or two points; I don't remember anything, it is some hometown old days, human feelings, and society.
The next day, we went to Cuihu - Yunnan Daowutang - Dianchi Wharf. You took Teacher Ben Jia Pingwa's "Temporary Sitting", I just took care of walking around, and left more time for my mother to let him talk about his family and talk about his hometown and family affection. The emotions that resemble relatives are released, and people's hearts are relaxed and warm.
On July 10, 2021, the "Literature Seminar" of hometown writer Chen Yan was held at Shangluo College. You were in Yuncheng that day, you asked your friends on the spot to ask me for some literary first-hand information to send to me; I gave you a voice that you said that you couldn't listen to it in public, and at night I learned that you were in the real estate you developed the "Enjoy the World" marketing center, which should be bustling.
At 19:41 we spoke for 13 minutes and 54 seconds. I said you have something, and he still stubbornly said, "Whatever, it's like talking to you."
2021-6-13I sent a circle of friends in Xishuangbannaman Listening Park, I sent you a few photos of Southeast Asian Buddhist architecture, we both chatted about architecture, city walls, Buddhist architecture (just turned out, listen to your voice: the country counts the thickest Xi'an city wall, the seat is 12 meters); the old brother gan construction 35 years, the town security project has an antique street I went to see, so blind chat.
Looking through our call logs: 4-26/5-5/6-21/6-22/6-23/7-10, I seriously recall, afraid of missing, but not sad, because the memories of chatting with you are pleasant and warm, comfortable and perceptual.
In 2005, I graduated from high school and went to the construction site of your Yuncheng, once you rode a motorcycle to take me to Chi Nan, the wind on the motorcycle "whined" and you chatted with me.
"You're still smart and have a future!"
"It's not smart, it's enough to be brainy."
Just like that, there are one tricks to say and laugh at every move.
Now, all this has been blown away by the wind, and the chat between the two of us will be lost in the wind forever!
The construction site came back to the restaurant to eat, the side parking lot of the hotel kitchen was high, the sister-in-law parking was a little difficult, you scared her too stupid; the meal wanted beer, you said to the waiter "9 ° beer!" The waiter was stunned, "No" "Drink every day, such a popular beer you don't know" Finally the beer came up, I remember that you remembered the wrong brand, Ni Shanshanran; I smiled in my heart, you have this violent temper.
Old Li has a bad temper and is reliable in doing things, which is recognized by the Yuncheng industry.
Back home, we both took a small bench and were both wearing short sleeves to cool off in the yard...
"I heard you want to build a home for the elderly"
"Listen to who said, there are more people in Yuncheng who can do this thing, and there are no less than 1,000 people with strength."
"The daily expenses on the construction site, the concrete tanker, the template demolition mold; your brother does not eat people and does not drink people on weekdays, and finally each project is settled under 6%, 10w business less he 6k social fees in time to pay them are also very happy, a year to save 200,000 is enough for a family expense" "Your brother soil, the soil of the soil eight road" while saying while scratching my meat.
I was 19 years old, and the only childish thing I could do was listen.
(3) Your birthday
My father's birthday is the fourteenth day of the waxing moon, on the same day as your father's and your aunt's birthday, and the hometown is close. Every year on this day in Xi'an, he called my father to call, and when he went back, he always dragged him to the county for a meal and let his friends drink with them. My dad is slow and thoughtful, stubborn and uncooperative; sometimes on his birthday he knows you're coming back, and a person runs into a ravine and can't get through the phone, so you look around and find a stinky scolding. It's not easy for you to spend money on your birthday!
My dad didn't necessarily go on the phone a few times, pushing back, procrastinating, and making excuses. The main thing is that I feel that I am "harming people" every year, and then I can't drink or talk about wine. Your father doesn't want to celebrate his birthday, and rural people are not used to eating in hotels, and they are worried about spending money.
Later, when there was no way, you invited friends to your hometown for dinner, and one year you brought a pot of 6L fenjiu. My dad drank too much that day and later sobered up and told me. Every year, your brother shouts about his birthday, and he is uncomfortable; he says that this wine, he has never drunk it, dry engineering wine is for people to give. After listening to my somewhat sour indescribable mood.
In the few days of helping at home, I am busy writing the tie, writing the wreath, writing the gift book, etc., which is also to accompany you to do some small things for you!
In my spare time, I looked at the couplet frame on the upper floor of the bridge, and I wrote a large mate, "A sick person leaves the homeland, and the whole family weeps and cries relatives"; at that moment, I told my father that no one will handle the birthdays of the three of you in the future!
The Spring Festival in 2021 is 2-12, and you return to Xi'an on 1-30; my mother specifically advised: The 26th of the Waxing Moon is your brother's birthday, and you greet it. The twenty-sixth day of the Waxing Moon arrived, and on that day I ordered cakes and flowers, and the flower shop and the cake shop repeatedly said that they could not contact people; after I contacted, they also did not answer. After you saw it, you told me to send it at six o'clock, and you estimated that you would not be able to get to Xi'an until six o'clock in the evening, and said thank you!
I know there are still four days left for the Spring Festival, but I don't know how busy and tired you are at this time of year. You may still be on the way to collect money in the middle of the night, on the way to sign a contract; still thinking about your hundred and ten workers waiting to be paid, and the mess on the construction site will make you anxious, but you should rarely have a relaxed year! The year before I gave you a New Year's greeting, you were in Sanya, tell me about this year's various unhappiness, to scatter my mind; I only know that you are strong, and it seems that there should be no worries. But when I came into contact with the project, went deep into the project, and slowly learned that some troubles are inseparable from the livelihood and the environment, enough to interfere with the festival of any ordinary person, what Spring Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, festivities and festivals are particularly difficult for the engineers here to be melancholy, not too open, not too much joy, and the heart is often accompanied.
(iv) The two of us talk about culture
Before the Spring Festival, you came to talk to me: "You are like Lu Yao, we Shaanxi writers, he has arrogance; your no calculation, the atmosphere is a bit like him" We talked about Lu Yao, talked about Chen Zhongzhong, talked a lot...
You know I'm good at writing and talking a bit cultured. On the 6th and 23rd, you sent me a few books: "Impetuous", "Qin Cavity", "Ancient Furnace", "Story Creatures", "Protagonist", "Loading Stage", although I also have several books, but I was still excited to see the signed version, and sent a circle of friends to be happy. Can the two of us communicate with books?
In the evening, we talked about WeChat voice and chatted for 2+ hours: I said "Impetuous" and other works by myself, I said more than you listened, I said a lot of literary understanding of "Impetuous", of course, there are Chen Xiaoming, Xie Youshun evaluation of what I see with relish. Finally, you said: You just read a lot, and when it comes to this, I can't communicate with you.
"What's that, I'm not necessarily right; it's just my personal understanding. You are a postdoc at a social university, you have your understanding, you can communicate, there is no right or wrong. At that moment, I had a thought: now that the economy has allowed it, if you study at a university in Xi'an for two years, it should be a good idea to meditate!
One day in July, I was reading Wu Xiaobo's Thirty Years of Turbulence: 1978-2008. You sent me a WeChat message saying that you wanted to be in line with international standards. I said, not that amount yet.
After a while, I left a Message on WeChat to you: 1, I said that I have always had a thought, you study in a university in Xi'an, meditate. 2. I finished reading Thirty Years of Turmoil: 1978-2008 and talked about my thoughts on politics, business and the future. You replied: If you understand a piece of shit, you might as well read Capital. You also talked about your views and told me: now it is prudent to start a business, and it is one way for multiple people to cooperate and share the pressure.
You are my grandfather's student. Our family's Yanwo ditch is a poor ditch, and in the production team's time, there was no land, no food, and no mother-in-law was waiting to see; but there were many craftsmen in the ditch, and the children were smart. My grandfather's favorite students: my father, you, And Zhimin Fumin's uncle.
Grandpa often went back to my grandmother and said that it was a pity for these babies in Yanwogou. It means that a few of you have smart brains, and your family is too poor to be supported. There is no doubt that a few of you should be the best of the eight groups in our village, that generation.
My dad was in the first grade of junior high school, because he went home every week to push the mill and carry firewood, the hard days were too hard, when my grandmother sent her to the reservoir, she didn't go to school and said, "It's better to let me go to prison"; a week later, dad's essay was read aloud by the teacher in the whole class as a model text, but unfortunately dad had already brought the box home; when I was a child, I took a ladder upstairs to look at the neat yellowed old physics books in my dad's upstairs box, with beautiful handwriting and clean work. Dad was supposed to be 13 years old.
And you are the same year as Uncle Zhimin, the little my father round, should be only 1 year old. For special reasons, you grew up living with your grandparents, you went to junior high school in the town, your grandmother often sent you sauerkraut jars, and then you often suffered from stomach diseases, saying that you ate sauerkraut when you went to school; I heard that your grandfather was a big Chinese medicine doctor, famous in the township, and died in the year you graduated from junior high school.
Grandpa was very compassionate and sad and said, "After I entered the article, there was no one to provide for me." When grandpa dies, you are a half-strong baby, and it is estimated that you will only cry; and grandma died 3-4 years ago, you are sad to die. My mother said that when your brother walked in front of the spiritual hall, it was really painful to look at him with tears in his eyes. Grandma's aftermath you do a good job, from the spiritual hall to the cemetery, about 2 kilometers all the way is a wreath, you let Grandma lively walk!
Now you can talk to grandma and stop blaming her sauerkraut; you are so smart, you don't read and love books, not to mention that over the years you have also had an interest in calligraphy, painting, Buddhist architecture, and literature!
(v) You have feelings and righteousness for us
One thing I will never forget is that when I was admitted to college in 2005, you asked my mother: Son-in-law, how much do you need to see two babies go to college (my sister went to college in 2004)? I lend it to you. My mom said: Then borrow 10,000!
And you have to let my dad go to Yuncheng to withdraw money, my dad doesn't understand that you can't punch the clock? What is the waste of fare?
In the end, you went to Yuncheng, you took him to the restaurant to eat, take a sauna, and then came back after a few days of play.
When I was at home, I asked my dad what it was like when he paid him back. My dad said, in our house, I gave him the money and said you count. Your brother didn't even look at it and said, what's the matter, don't count, you smoke two cards.
No IOU, no money, this temperature, you make us more grateful, how can I repay this love in this life?
I don't know if this kindness comes from repaying the favor, once when you were in junior high school, you didn't have money to go to school, and your aunt borrowed a circle of money from relatives and didn't borrow it, and when she came back, she was muffled and cried loudly. "I didn't learn!" You're a child, don't spin your head and follow your aunt! My mother looked distressed and took 16 yuan of the money saved from the family's egg sale and lent it to you to go to school.
A few years ago you came home and said that the chemistry you learned that year was helpful for you to later engineering. I say bullshit, thank people for being obedient!
You are like this, one year came back, saw my grandmother widow (grandfather left in 2003) pitiful, Yu couldn't bear to say that my teacher taught me a primary school, gave some money, and later met and gave money.
After I know, I am quite touched, how many things can be taught by primary school teachers to achieve you! It's not money, it's the soul of your gratitude behind the money that makes us too moved.
In 2017, my daughter-in-law became pregnant, and we returned to Hunan during the Spring Festival. You took a few dolls to Shaoshan to play, and after not knowing about it, you drove from Shaoshan to Changsha. Time is too hurried for us to have a meal together, you grab the single by me, to give 4 children red envelopes but you did not push. I knew three mornings after that meal, light rain; after the meal you insisted on taking me to the airport, and I said don't bother too much.
If you can turn back the clock, if you know that you want to talk to me more stupid, I decided to insist on letting you send, or I can refund the ticket.
(6) Your love, the doll knows quite well
You love these 4 babies so much. Years ago we chatted: you said that the boss graduated, do film and television work, to see people's works, people say that it is the property rights can not be sent by the way; the second brother does not talk much, the brothers 3 often fight; the third don't look at the height of 180 +, the big relationship, encounter a fight is always hiding; Xiaoyu has always been your little cotton jacket, from small high standards and strict requirements to feed up, to take it there. Speaking of a few children, your eyebrows are spread out, you are not smiling, and I can feel your love for several children.
Your love, the child probably knows. Do you see, The morning is very mature and stable, the second does not speak but is very polite, the third is tall and vigorous; Xiaoyu needless to say, looking at the cute and smart and likable wife...
Brother, did you go back to the Spirit Hall after you left? The little rain people are small, and the adults who cry with the dolls are heartbroken; your love for the child, the child is deeply hidden in the heart. The children guarded your spirit for a few days, and on the day of the funeral, the children knelt down and protected you all the way.
On the day of your funeral, the rain was torrential, and according to the feng shui of our hometown, the dolls were very good and auspicious.
At 08:05 that day you arrived at your new home yard, according to Mr. Feng Shui's algorithm, the auspicious time was 09:00; the filial pieties all knelt in the bao valley, burning money, burning wreaths, burning gold mountains and silver mountains, and I also followed a few dolls and a few brothers of your Li family, kneeling to give you a salute; several dolls were roasted by the fire in front of them, and we persuaded them to retreat again and again, and they insisted on kneeling until 09:00. An hour of kneeling and salutation, I hope you have a smooth journey; an hour of dolls knees is very unbearable, but such a sincere accompaniment to your last journey, do you feel relieved?
At night, according to the custom, we would build a fire on the grave for you (the first few nights, you can't be too lonely); Brother Wen Hong, the four children, and I and my mother went to cage you with a pile of firewood.
I said in my heart: Brother, from now on you can rest 365 days a year, and you don't have to run around and worry about the project anymore. I have never been so idle before, now I don't care about anything, the things under the sky, in the end, "dust to dust, soil to soil", you have a good rest is also a good thing!
Before the fire, I told a story to a few children: not far above your father's grave, there was an old persimmon tree called the ditch; it was the tree that our Peng family "closed" with your Li family; every year the persimmons were ripe, a basket, half of your grandfather, half of our family.
Da Chen said: Uncle, are you a writer? I said no, I'll write some text, and I have a lot of writer friends on the side.
The story of "Guan Persimmon Tree" is dedicated to my brother's eldest son Da Chen: your grandfather's grandfather, with my father's grandmother, and your grandfather of the li family's new min grandfather, are three sisters; my grandmother married into the paper room ditch next door, and later the days were not going to pass; you Li family ancestors called his mother's sister back to live; the grandfather of the new minye is a branch secretary and can take care of his sisters.
Poor, no food and clothing, no possessions, but to live a life to have land and trees, so the brothers and sisters pooled their money to buy a persimmon tree. Your grandfather's father, your grandfather, and our ancestors "closed" this old persimmon tree. (Guan: The old dialect "Guan Guan" is the common meaning) This tree is still there, although it is older, this is our Peng family and the Li family, my family and your family's ancestors.
(vii) You just have to rest quietly
At the fire, I said goodbye to my brother in my heart: Brother, tomorrow I will go back to Kunming with your aunt, and I will come back to talk to you tonight. I said to the children, "Tell me what you have in the future, and I'll celebrate it for you, like getting married." Xiao Yu said, "Then you can't come when I get married?" "Do you want me to come or not to come?" "I hope you come" "Then I will definitely come, you have to tell me O." ”
Walking to the door of my house, I hurriedly left a WeChat message in the morning and urged them to hurry home. Because I didn't want my brother to go outside with a few dolls and suffer cold rain and frost. (Our family custom: when a person goes there for a period of time, the filial piety will go there, and you will follow there; and you can't enter the door, so I won't keep a few babies)
There was no signal at home, and the next morning after passing through WeChat: I told you to remember to build a fire on your father's grave tonight; the doll responded very politely and will definitely remember! I was at the airport, and said to the doll: I will often contact you in the future, and if there is something to tell me, I can't see outside!
When the memories were finished, I was ready to go to dinner; the tears flowed a few times, and my heart was much more relaxed!
Brother, we all miss you very much, and we will think of you from time to time in the future; what do you tell me in your dreams, let's communicate in another way! Go home and send you, because I want to live with affection and righteousness and temperature; go home and send you, your sudden departure, gives me a very heavy lesson in life.
In the great time and space, when the life is born, the living have feelings and righteousness and fulfill their duties; the deceased is respected, and it is too regrettable to go, but we remember your kindness.
About the author: Peng Bo, born in 1986, pen name Boren, Danfeng Dihuazhen people, literature lovers.