01
There is a tangled question: is it better to socialize or not to socialize?
Different people will have different answers to this question.
Some people think that it must be good to socialize. Only by taking the initiative to socialize can you add more connections to yourself. In a humanistic society, isn't it just multiple friends and multiple roads?
Some people think it's better not to socialize. Now social networking is just to add a few more WeChat friends. When something really happens, it doesn't help. There is no difference between social and non-social.
Some people believe that only the poor who put their hopes in others will choose to socialize. And the rich and powerful, they don't need to socialize at all, they have a bunch of people to flatter them.
It can be concluded that whether or not to socialize is not only related to people's concepts, needs, and goals, but also related to people's class. Different classes have different choices for socializing.
02
Lu Mengzheng, the prime minister of the Northern Song Dynasty, introduced his life experience in "Broken Kiln Fu".
"I used to live in Luoyang, begging for monks' meals, staying in the broken kiln at dusk, thinking about clothes can not cover his body, thinking about food can not help his hunger, the master hates, the lower people hate, humanity I am cheap, I don't give up.
Now living in the court, the official to the best, the position of the three dukes, although the body bows under one person, and the position above tens of millions of people, there are the staff of the tart hundred bureaucrats, there is the sword of the stingy, there is a thousand boxes of Luo Jin, thinking of food and there are delicacies, out of the strong man whip, into the beauty of the favorite, the pet of the master, the people of the embrace. ”
Roughly speaking:
At the beginning in Luoyang, I was a poor scholar, begging monks for alms in the morning, and living in a dilapidated cave at night, and my clothes could not cover my body. When others saw me, they were very disgusted.
Today, he became the prime minister, ranked among the three princes, below one person, above 10,000 people, eating delicacies from the mountains and seas, wearing silk and satin, and there were thousands of people saddle in front of and behind the horse at every turn. Do they like me, but they like my power?
When Lu Meng was poor, even if he wanted to socialize, no one liked him. After Lu Meng became the prime minister, even if he didn't want to socialize, there were countless people who flattered and flattered him.
03
Let's start with "the poor are desperately socializing".
When people are poor, there is always an idea that only by making noble people, multiple friends and multiple paths can they change their fate.
From a fantasy point of view, that's fine. From a practical point of view, why should a noble person associate with the poor? Do you covet the poverty of the poor?
At the bottom, no matter how much you socialize, you can only make friends with the poor of the same class, but you can't make friends with the nobles of the higher class.
Befriending the poor and being influenced by backward ideas will only make your own ideas more backward. The so-called "those who are close to Zhu are red, and those who are close to ink are black" is this truth.
Let's ask, if we socialize with the poor at the bottom, others can't help us, and even hinder us, so what's the point of such socialization?
Nothing makes sense. If you look at a group of long-tongued women at the entrance of the village, the east family is short every day, the west family is short, and the mutual parents are short, do you benefit a lot? It's just a waste of time.
The poor have worked hard to socialize, and what they get is nothing but "poverty". In this world, it's not about having multiple friends and multiple paths, but if you have the ability, others will flatter you.
04
Let's talk about "the rich don't need to socialize".
"Zengguang Xianwen" has a saying: "The poor in the downtown no one asks, the rich have distant relatives in the mountains, don't believe but look at the wine in the feast, and pay tribute to the rich first in the cup." ”
People are poor, even if they live in downtown areas, no one will pay attention. People are rich, even if they live in the deep mountains and old forests, there will be people who come to visit. Being poor or rich determines the attitude of others towards you.
At the time of the party, people would only toast the rich, not the poor. In the eyes of others, there is no point in toasting the poor, and only by toasting the rich can it be possible to please the rich.
Do the rich need to socialize? There is no need to socialize at all. As long as others have money, countless friends, customers, and pleasers will gather around them.
It seems that "those who have attained the Tao will be helped", but in fact, "the elite and the strong will be helped".
When Liu Bang was still a gangster, no one cared about him. As Liu Bang has territory and strength, countless people have come to curry favor with Liu Bang. When Liu Bang rules the world, everyone hopes to be favored by Liu Bang.
The essence of social interaction seems to be about feelings, but it is actually about interests, status, money, power, and value.
05
Write to the end
The poor are desperate to socialize because they fantasize about multiple friends and multiple paths. But they don't know that they don't have money, and even if you want to socialize with others, they will dislike you.
Rich people don't need to socialize because they have the ability and strength, and they don't have to take the initiative to please others at all, others will take the initiative to please themselves. Rich people, powerful people, don't worry about no circle.
Let's go a little deeper. The rich don't need to say anything, there will be a lot of horses and horses, and they will take the initiative to give them money.
The poor need to work hard to earn money; The money of the rich is basically delivered to their own doors. And money precisely determines a person's social situation.
For the poor, there is no point in spending all their minds on socializing. Because of the lack of strength in socialization, only the poor will be found, not the noble.
Only by improving one's own strength can one enter a higher circle. Strength is everything.
Text/Shushan has deer