Whether a person has the ability or not can often be detected from his words, deeds, and behavioral habits.
People who are really capable are often humble and low-key to people and things, and their words and deeds are always just right, which makes people feel like a spring breeze.
And the more incapable people are, the more they will have the following three manifestations.
01: Complain and blame, pick on other people's faults
In psychology, there are two types of attitudes that people adopt when they encounter problems: internal attribution and external attribution.
People with internal attribution will look for problems in themselves and seek solutions by improving themselves.
People with external attribution will attribute the cause of the problem to the external environment and others, and in the face of the problem, they will blame and complain more often, and rarely reflect on themselves.
I myself used to complain about others when I was treated unfairly.
Later, I realized that a large part of how others treated me was my attitude towards people and things, which led others to treat me in this way.
When I like to please others, I experience more disrespect from others.
When I don't know how to refuse, I naturally take on much more things than others.
When I started to change myself, I noticed that other people's attitudes towards me had also changed significantly.
A person who always loves to complain and blame others will never be able to grow, and will also allow himself to become weaker and weaker, and face more difficulties and frustrations in life.
02: I like to refute others and prove myself right
I found out that I used to be such a person.
When other people's opinions are not aligned with my own, I will habitually refute them and prove myself right.
Later, when I was studying group psychotherapy, I applied the method of group therapy to my daily life, comparing the different reactions of myself and those around me to the same thing, and I accidentally discovered this bad habit.
After conducting an in-depth analysis, I realized that this was caused by my own inferiority complex.
When I realized the problem, I began to consciously overcome it, and after someone else said a word, I would pause for a few seconds to think about it before answering.
It has changed the old model of treating other people's words as buttons and responding at the touch of a button.
When I changed the way I spoke, I noticed that the relationships around me were much better.
Now I am trying to learn to listen, understand, and appreciate others.
When I did this, I discovered a world that I couldn't see before, and such a world broadened my horizons and made me see things more comprehensively.
03: I like to exaggerate and show off and prove my abilities
When interacting with people in life, you will find that some people have a habit of showing off themselves.
Some retirees often reminisce about past highlights and show off how much they have achieved in the past.
From a psychological point of view, people who like to show off the past are often dissatisfied with their current life and make up for the frustration of their current life through memories.
People who are really capable will not show off themselves through their mouths, but will prove themselves through their strength.
They will dive in and spend their time on improving their own values and inner cultivation.
The more people tend to lack something, the more they will value something, and the more they will show off what they will show off.
So, from those who love to show off, you will find what they lack within themselves.
These are some of my personal thoughts on the life of a retiree.
If a person's behavior is compared to the leaves of a big tree, then personal cognitive thinking is the root of the big tree.
If there is a problem with the roots, it will react to the branches and leaves.
Here, I wish you and me in front of the mobile phone screen can continue to improve our cognition in self-reflection, so as to have a happy retirement.