In 23 years, more than 8,400 days and nights, a gray-haired old couple traveled all over the country, just to find their son who had been missing for many years.
Huang Linsen, who used to be a professor in the Department of Physics of Nanjing University, and his wife Liu Yaqin, shuttled through major family search programs, their eyes full of expectation.
However, the response of his son Huang Xiaohai broke the hearts of the parents who were over eighty years old: "When I see them, I feel sick."
Grace and righteousness: the break between parents and sons
In 1994, Huang Xiaohai, an outstanding graduate, was assigned to work in Beijing.
On July 1, Huang Linsen and his wife planned to go to the station with their daughter to see off their son. Who knows, the son has already secretly bought a station ticket and went to Beijing in advance, leaving only a blank back.
Mr. and Mrs. Huang Linsen were furious and called their son's phone, but no one answered.
The only time I had a call, the son asked his mother only an inexplicable question: "What would you do if someone slapped you every day?"
Liu Yaqin didn't think about it, and asked rhetorically: "How long does it take you to slap you every day?"
As soon as the voice fell, the phone stopped abruptly.
A few months later, a letter from Beijing announced the parents' break with their son.
In the letter, Huang Xiaohai said that he would cut off all relations with his parents. Huang Linsen and his wife disregarded their face and asked around for their son's new contact information.
Finally got on the phone, and my son heard their voices and hung up immediately. In 23 years, the son has never replied to any messages from his parents.
Today, his son Huang Xiaohai is in Beijing, living a lonely and lonely life. I didn't buy a house, I didn't get married, I did a job I didn't like, and I couldn't get out of the shadow of the past.
However, the elderly parents began to reflect on the way they were educated back then and regretted it. How they wish they could see their son again before they die, even if it was just to hear his voice.
However, the real reason for the parents' break with their son can be traced back to his son's college days. In the campus where he was supposed to fly freely, a perverted desire for control quietly shrouded Huang Xiaohai's head, suffocating him and despairing...
Perverted Desire for Control: Parents Crazy Spying on Their Son's College Life
In 1990, Huang Xiaohai was admitted to the Department of Physics of Nanjing University with excellent results.
I thought that I could fly freely on the university campus, but I didn't expect that from the moment I stepped into the school gate, a pair of invisible "devil's claws" tightly restrained his life.
That's right, these "claws" are his biological father, Huang Linsen, a professor in the Department of Physics at NTU.
In the four years of college, Huang Linsen pervertedly monitored his son's every move. He is like a "stalker", always paying attention to his son's dynamics.
When the class bell rings, he will appear "exactly" at the door of the classroom; When he goes to bed after school, he will "bump into" his son on the road; Even when his son goes to the toilet, he can accurately "block" in front of the sink.
Huang Xiaohai felt like a "transparent person", with nothing to hide in front of his father, he wanted to cry without tears.
What's even more terrifying is that Huang Linsen does not let go of his son's privacy at all. He would look through his son's diary, check his email, and even eavesdrop on his phone.
Huang Xiaohai felt that his life was completely blocked by his father with the "Divine Palm". Not to mention falling in love, even making a friend has to go through the "layers of review" of the father.
Over time, Huang Xiaohai became a "lonely man" in school, and his friends hid far away when they saw him, for fear of being targeted by his "perverted father".
What made Huang Xiaohai collapse the most was his father's comprehensive intervention in his marriage and love. In his junior year, Huang Xiaohai finally mustered up the courage to confess to Tiehua.
Unexpectedly, the next day, Tiehua came to him with a flushed face and said, "Xiaohai, I'm sorry, your father came to me last night." He said that we are not suitable, let me stay away from you. Huang Xiaohai was dumbfounded on the spot, he couldn't wait to find a crack in the ground to get into.
Since then, Huang Xiaohai has been completely scared. He no longer dared to talk to the opposite sex, for fear of attracting his father's "interrogation" again.
He locked himself in his bedroom and became a complete "otaku".
But even so, Huang Linsen still didn't let him go.
He would suddenly appear at the door of the dormitory and shout, "Xiaohai, open the door for Dad!" Daddy came to check if you had hidden little girls!" Huang Xiaohai wanted to crash to death on the door panel.
Four years of college life is a nightmare for Huang Xiaohai. He felt like a "marionette", and every thread was firmly held in his father's hand.
He longed to escape from this "spiritual cage" and run to the world of freedom. And the root of all this can be traced back to Huang Linsen's own childhood "history of blood and tears".
Stick education: a tragedy of the homeschooling method
In 1958, Huang Linsen was born into a traditional Nanjing family. His mother, Qin Shufen, is a loyal believer in "filial piety under the stick".
In her opinion, children should be beaten, and if they don't fight, they can't get a fight. So, for as long as Huang Linsen can remember, his mother's stick has never left his body. Being beaten has become the deepest memory of his childhood.
After being beaten a lot, Huang Linsen got used to it. He even began to think that education should be like this.
When he grew up, he was admitted to Nanjing University and became a top student in the Department of Physics. When he graduated, he married Liu Yaqin from the same school, and the two soon had a son, Huang Xiaohai.
Huang Linsen vowed to raise his son to be "someone else's child". He was determined to use his mother's "stick education" to discipline his son.
Since childhood, Huang Xiaohai has grown up under the high-pressure control of his parents. His life was arranged clearly by his parents. What you learn, what you play, and what kind of friends you make are all up to your parents.
The slightest disobedience will cause the stick to fall. Over time, Huang Xiaohai became depressed, had low self-esteem, and lost confidence and enthusiasm for life.
On the eve of the college entrance examination, Huang Xiaohai collapsed. He ran to the Yangtze River Bridge and thought about it. It was the timely dissuasion of passers-by that saved him from death.
Afterwards, instead of reflecting, Huang Linsen intensified his control over his son. He was afraid that his son would not be admitted to college and lose face. So, he monitored his son's every move, for fear that he would have some "moths" again.
Now, Huang Linsen and his wife, who are over eighty years old, have finally realized the mistake of their education method back then. They regretted it so much that they wanted to kneel down for their son to admit their mistakes.
How they hope that their son will forgive them, even if they scold them, they are willing. But his son Huang Xiaohai never wanted to see them again.
It's been 23 years, and his son's resentment hasn't weakened at all. Only then did Huang Linsen and his wife realize how deeply their son had been hurt by the "stick education" of that year.
They finally understand how their parents' desire to control is driving their son to a dead end step by step. Remorse and guilt are like two sharp blades, piercing them all over their bodies.
Epilogue:
"If the son does not teach, the father is guilty." This old saying expresses the true meaning of education. The way parents educate determines the life of their children. Excessive control and suppression will only make children feel inferior, depressed, and even go to a dead end.
On the contrary, moderate letting go and guidance can make children grow up healthily and become a confident and optimistic person. I hope that parents all over the world can understand the truth and give their children a happy and free childhood. After all, the future of children is in the hands of parents.