Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
People change, even the people you love, your partner.
In the course of my counseling, I often heard the words: Why did he do this to me? He wasn't like that before.
This is a point that many women can't understand, and it's also unacceptable: how did men change?
Of course, this kind of "change" is a change in a bad direction, such as being inconsiderate, not caring, impatient, and even beginning to dislike it.
Women are still immersed in long-term anticipation, but men suddenly become the ones who dislike you.
It's just that these dislikes, sometimes not so obvious, are looming in your life.
For women, we still need to be aware of it, and then make adjustments so that the marriage will not go downhill.
Generally speaking, when a man starts to dislike you, his behavior is obvious.
01 Mood swings
In fact, a person's dislike for you will first manifest itself emotionally.
The emotions mentioned here can also be understood as attitudes. That said, when he starts to dislike you, his attitude tends to change 180 degrees.
For example, he used to be kind to you, and he could discuss anything. Even if you are a little willful once in a while, he will not care.
But now, he will suddenly get angry with you because of some very small things, and his temper will make you baffled.
Or, they are completely impatient with you, and they will yell at you if they can't say a few words, or just throw a disdainful look and walk away.
You'll feel like he's become weird, as if he's easily out of control, and he's gone with all the good temper he used to have with you.
One of my students was in this situation, and her husband was like a hedgehog. You simply can't get close to him, and you can't talk.
You have nothing to say, he will stab you at every turn, you are in pain, you are uncomfortable, but he doesn't care.
After this situation lasted for a while, her husband proposed to divorce her. At this time, she suddenly realized that the other party just disliked her and wanted to divorce.
When a man does this, he does dislike you, but it doesn't mean that he necessarily wants to divorce you.
It's just that this state of disgust, if we don't take it seriously ourselves, let it go, nothing will change.
Then it is very likely that he will really want to divorce you.
02 Unwarranted pickiness
A man's dislike for you will be manifested in attitude at first, and it will slowly permeate into action.
For example, he will deliberately find fault with you, even make something out of nothing, have nothing to do, and always think that you are not good, that is not good.
For another example, he says that it is for your good, but at every turn he comes to ridicule you, laugh at you, and say that you are useless.
At this time, don't think that he is really for your good, in fact, he is already disgusting you.
Now you have too much dissatisfaction with him. He thinks that you are not worthy of him, so he is so picky, and even wants to change you and control you.
A reader told me that he had been married for more than ten years, and his wife gave birth to children for him and took care of the housework, but he became more and more dissatisfied with his wife.
He thinks that his wife doesn't pay attention to body management, she can't look fat, and she doesn't want to lose weight. Even if you are fat, you are becoming less and less particular about dressing, and you will feel ashamed to take it out.
He told me that if it weren't for the children, he really wanted to divorce his wife, and he really couldn't stand such a wife.
You see, with the passage of time, one day men will really dislike you, in places you don't realize.
So, when a man starts to find fault with you, we need to be aware of it as well.
Is the other party really looking for trouble, or is he really getting more and more lazy to take care of it, and he is losing his attraction more and more.
03 Cold face opposite
When the dislike accumulates to a certain extent, he may no longer be too lazy to find fault with you, and will directly keep his distance from you, and treat you with only a cold face.
This sense of distance is even subconscious, many times our words can be faked, but the knee-jerk reaction is real.
For example, he is only absent-minded around you. When I get home from work, I'd rather be bored with my phone than say a word to you.
Your existence seems to have nothing to do with him, what you are busy with, whether you are tired or not, whether you are unhappy, he will neither care nor feel it at all, and directly ignore you.
You took the initiative to talk to him, and he sent you away with a word. To put it mildly, he will say: I'm tired and don't want to talk. If you're not welcome, he will directly scold you: I'm already very tired, can you not bother me?
Maybe you think that he is really tired from work, and he can't help but feel distressed and wants to comfort her.
As a result, all that awaits you is a cold face, and the more you comfort people, the less they take you seriously and ignore you the more.
This is actually a kind of disgust, because of disgust, so he will want to stay away from you.
04
After talking about a man's dislike for you, I want to tell you why he dislikes you?
Perhaps, it is because the days have passed for a long time, the relationship has flattened, we have all seen the truest side of each other, and more and more shortcomings have been exposed, and dislike has involuntarily happened.
Perhaps, you are becoming less and less demanding of yourself, and you are reluctant to clean up when you go out. After all, people are visual "animals", and when you are no longer beautiful, it will cause the other party to dislike them.
Or, there is a lot of unhappiness between you, and conflicts and quarrels have become commonplace. If there is a crack in the relationship, then the other party's dislike for you will increase day by day.
Of course, there is also a possibility that the other party has someone else living in his heart. He doesn't have you in his heart, and he will naturally dislike it.
But whatever the reason, when you perceive that the man has a dislike for you, if you still want this marriage, then you have to do something.
You can observe the daily life, or you can try to communicate with the man to see where the points he dislikes.
Then make targeted adjustments, make changes, find your former self, and find the relationship between you.
Then, the disgust will slowly disappear.