Text / Picture Huang Fang
An eighty-year-old man has published four books in four years, and the book "My Fragrance" is her autobiographical novel published in 2022.
Because I read her first novel "Autumn Garden" based on her mother published in 2020, I was very moved. That's why I thought of buying all her tetralogy and reading it.
The author slowly analyzes and recalls from the perspective and vision of an eyewitness, so that the helplessness of those lives and the cruelty of fate are narrated in her pen. She recreates the tormented and difficult past with a calm and peaceful mind. There are no complaints, no accusations, and no desire to blame or anger anyone, because she only has a story and a life experience that will forever be in the past.
The Huicai in the story was originally studying in the normal class of the Gongda branch in Jiangxi, but because of his bad background, he was sent down again three months before graduation.
A woman with self-esteem and self-improvement who only wants to study more has been up and down several times and suffered many hardships under the repeated twists and turns of fate. But no matter how desperate she is, she only wants to rely on herself, and she doesn't want to be a parasite under the fence.
From taking the initiative to work as a farmer in the camphor production team near the hospital, earning a share of work to support himself, and then going to work as an accountant in the West Lake Reclamation Farm, Huicai has always regarded studying and finding a job as his belief in survival. No matter what problems life throws at her, she grits her teeth and persists. Although her married life is far from being as warm and harmonious as she imagined, she relied on her tenacity and persistence to maintain the family steadily. Later, after the policy was implemented, she finally had a stable job, and it was only then that she really ended half of her life of floating.
At the beginning of decentralization, Huicai said: Although she is not very old, she has suffered enough, and she is afraid of doing things, but she has not read enough books, and she always wants to read some books.
When I see this, I can't help but think of my mother. Because I once heard my mother say that when she was in elementary school, the school year had been open for several weeks at a time, and the family had not been able to pay the tuition fees on time. As a result, she often had the idea of dropping out of school, and she didn't even dare to face the teacher's inquiry. My mother, who is excellent in character and learning, doesn't want to read more books and learn more cultural knowledge.
It's just that there are indeed too many people born in the forties and fifties of the last century who can't go to school because of family reasons. Some are because of poverty, and some are because of family origin. And Huicai is because of her bad background, so no matter how good she is in character and learning, she still can't escape the situation of being sent down and having no way out.
Huicai didn't want to go back to her hometown in Hunan to farm, but her father starved to death, her mother ran away with her younger brother, her brother was beaten into a gangster, and even a better door panel was pried away, this is the home she can't go back to. But if you want to stay, you have to register your marriage with Dr. Lui, who has only known him for two months. Huicai, who originally wanted to read more books, could only get married early in order to stay, and these were things she didn't expect, and the arrival of children after marriage made her dream of studying more and more slim.
Despite the difficult trek on such a thorny road of life, she still raised her children to be better than the other.
Dr. Lui's self-esteem, apathy, and low emotional intelligence made Huicai feel that the stumbles between them in this marriage were simply endless. She longs for a warm home and an understanding husband, but his indifferent personality is really unbearable.
In fact, she knew that Lu was also a poor person. He told her that when he was ten years old, he learned that he was not born to his mother, and he was so distressed that he could not speak, and hid behind a pile of straw and cried all afternoon. His childhood and adolescence left scars in his heart, which made him so indifferent to his family.
For taking care of the children all day, cooking, laundry, these endless housework, unbearable burdens and trivial life that turns like a grinding plate, it is obviously contrary to the dream of wanting to study, but this is the most real life now!
In the most difficult time, Huicai did not forget to go to the library to borrow books to read, did not forget to study, and did not forget to record the touching pictures he saw and thought of in the form of words, seeking to publish. In fact, her dream of reading and creating has always been there, but due to the pressure of life and family, she can only hide it all in her heart.
In the past, she also had a deep despair of life and life, and it was the smart and sensible children who grew up and the warm people and things she encountered in life that made her regain her confidence and love for life. She encouraged herself in her heart: "There is no difficulty that cannot be overcome, I must train my children well." ”
Lu is actually a kind-hearted person, but a husband and wife with incompatible personalities, they can only get married and reconciled on weekdays, reconciled and reconciled, and no one can tell if they are ugly.
The kind-hearted wisdom has always believed that spiritual hunger is her fatal wound, and the wound is in the soul. So, in the year of the sixtieth year, she started her own writing path on the small pony in the kitchen.
As she writes on the title page of the book, "When the heart is full, it overflows out of the mouth." A person with such a wealth of life experiences, she has gone through hardships and yet still loves life. There is no lack of sensuality in her writing, which examines the past and heals herself.
About the Author
Huang Fang loves words, food, photography, travel, flowers and vegetables, and all the good things in this world. I'm looking forward to having a set of food experiences that are completely my own. Everyone's understanding of happiness is different, and the happiness in my heart is to do my best to be a woman who is closer to my ideals.