In the evening, my boyfriend and I sat on the couch, and the light reflected his serious face. He spoke out of the blue, asking about our possible future home—the dream that had not yet taken shape. He mentioned that if we are engaged, can we use my CPF when we buy a house? His family was willing to make a down payment.
As soon as I heard this, I felt a little uncomfortable. I euphemistically expressed my concern: I don't want to be burdened with the pressure of borrowing money in the future. In fact, his family is fully capable of buying a house with full payment, but they want my family to also pay for it, saying that it is for fairness.
I understand his thoughts, but in my opinion, it is normal for the man to prepare the house before marriage. The house only has his name written on it, and I can accept it, after all, it is a traditional custom and a sign of respect for his family.
Then, he mentioned that he wanted to buy a new car. I smiled and told him that there was no problem, and we could repay the loan together, which I completely accepted. But when it comes to houses, I always stand my ground.
My family is better off than his, and my parents will definitely support me. But their support is not so that I can marry a family that even needs to pay the mortgage myself. My boyfriend is an only child, and buying a house in full is not a pressure for him, but he insists on seeing the support from my family, saying that it is for fairness.
We talked about this issue for a long time, but we never came to an agreement. I was in a mess and didn't know what to do. I know that feelings can't be measured by money alone, but I also want our marriage to have a stable start.