Theoretical origins
One glass of warm water, keeping the temperature constant, another glass of cold water, one cup of hot water.
Put your hands in cold water first, and then put them in warm water, and you will feel warm water; If you put your hands in hot water and then put them in lukewarm water, you will feel that the lukewarm water is cold.
The same glass of warm water, there are two different sensations, this is what we are talking about the "hot and cold water effect", also known as the contrastive cognitive effect, if you will use this effect, you will use this psychological strategy that is both common and effective.
This effect occurs because everyone has a reference in their mind, but the reference is not consistent and fixed.
As the psychology changes, so does the referent. People's perception of things is influenced by this reference.
Mr. Lu Xun once said that if someone proposed to open a window on the wall of the house, it would inevitably be opposed by everyone, and the window would definitely not be opened.
However, if it is proposed to remove the roof, the people will back down and agree to open the window.
This is a typical "hot and cold water effect": when the proposal is to "remove the roof", the "scale" in the other party's mind becomes smaller, and the persuasion goal of "opening a window in the wall" will be smoothly agreed.
The hot and cold water effect can be used to persuade others that if you want to get the other person to accept "a basin of warm water", in order not to refuse, you might as well let him try the "cold water" first, and then serve the "warm water", so that he will gladly accept it.
Theory and practice
A and B are the negotiators of a large company, and the golden pair has almost no business that cannot be negotiated, and they have won the respect and trust of the company's employees.
It turned out that the magic weapon of the two of them was to use the "hot and cold water effect" to persuade each other. Every time he negotiates, A always puts forward harsh requirements, which makes the other party panicked, discouraged, and at a loss, and when he overwhelms the other party psychologically, that is, when the other party feels that "the mountain and the water are doubtful", B appears, and he proposes a compromise plan, of course, this plan is the goal of their negotiation.
In the face of such a "bright village", the other party often signs the contract very happily.
In the face of this kind of situation, even if there are some unfavorable conditions in the plan, the other party will think that it is much better than the original plan and accept it.
This kind of skill can play a huge role not only in business negotiations, but also in the big and small things in daily life.
Once, when a civil airliner was about to land, the passengers on board were suddenly notified that due to the congestion at the airport, they could not land, and the estimated arrival time was delayed by 1 hour.
Suddenly, there was a whining in the cabin, and the passengers spent their time waiting.
A few minutes later, the flight attendant announced that in another 30 minutes, the plane would land safely, and the passengers breathed a sigh of relief.
After another 5 minutes, the radio said that the plane was about to land.
Although it was more than ten minutes late, the passengers were overjoyed and clapped their hands in celebration.
In this case, the crew inadvertently used the hot and cold water effect, which first made the "scales" in the passengers' minds smaller, and when the plane landed, the passengers were not only not bored with the fact that it was late, but felt extremely excited.
Let the other party taste the taste of "cold water" first, which will shrink the "scale" in his heart, and he will be happy with the "warm water" he has obtained.
summary
In interpersonal communication, if you can make the other person happy at a critical moment or on a normal day, what can't be done?
In addition, this strategy also applies when it comes to helping others.
The reason is also obvious, when we are not able to meet the other party's requirements, we might as well serve the other party a basin of "cold water", and then give him a basin of "warm water", in this way, your basin of "warm water" will also get a good evaluation from him, than the direct "from hot to warm" effect is much more obvious.
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