In Zhuangzi, there is a famous fable - "King Lu raises birds", King Lu saw a seabird that he had never seen before flying and thought it was a sacred bird, so he brought the seabird into the palace and entertained it with his favorite music and food. However, these favors were instead a form of torture for the seabird, which eventually died in the lavish court life.
King Lu took it for granted that from his own point of view, he thought that what he liked, the seabirds would also like anything, and gave his favorite things to the seabirds, thinking that the seabirds would live happily in the palace, but it backfired.
This parable profoundly reveals that if we take it for granted to look at others with our own eyes, we take it for granted that we can see the world with our own eyes. It will not only lead to the breakdown of interpersonal relationships, but also lead to the fiasco of career and life.
In dealing with interpersonal relationships, even if one's subjective actions are well-intentioned, if they do not meet the actual needs of the other person, no matter how good these behaviors are, they will not only be unhelpful, but may actually cause harm.
In many cases, the fundamental reason why "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" does not work is that everyone's needs and preferences are different.
People are often accustomed to treating others as their own, thinking that their own preferences and standards are universal truths, but they often ignore the diversity and complexity of human nature. There are huge differences between people. Different people have their own standards and scales of measurement in many aspects.
Therefore, the basis of getting along with others is not to look at others by their own standards, not to treat others as oneself: not to give advice to others, to interfere with others, to speculate on others, to judge others, to compare with others, and to argue with others.
Different people have different outlooks on life, and their paths are different. We should not give advice lightly so as not to mislead others.
Different people have different values, preferences and pursuits, and we should not interfere with others at will.
Different people have different ways of doing things, so don't use your own perspective to judge others, so as not to misunderstand others.
Different people have different judging standards, don't judge others by your own standards.
Different people, their own situations are different, and the way of living is also different, don't compare with others, blindly follow the trend.
Different people have different cognitions and positions, don't argue with others, this will only lead to the donkey's lips not the horse's mouth.
In terms of career, many people take their ideas too seriously, and often act only on their own opinions and opinions, believing that their ideas and practices are right, resulting in constant frustration.
In business, there is a classic saying that if your opinion is not verified, it will be worthless. In the market, there is no shortage of opinions, including those of various well-known institutions and celebrities.
However, among all these views, the real correct ones are not high, and the erroneous and even ridiculous views of various well-known institutions and experts can be found everywhere on the Internet.
Even the most successful people sometimes get it wrong. However, the biggest difference between successful people and ordinary people is that successful people are often able to stop losses and correct deviations in time when they make mistakes, so as to minimize losses. When it comes to seeing and doing right, do it to the extreme and get great rewards from it.
Failed people, on the other hand, tend to fall into low-level repetition, always walk on the wrong path, keep doing wrong and ineffective things, and rarely review their own failures. This is also the root cause of many people who work all their lives, but always have limited gains.
When you're hard enough, but you're always struggling to move an inch. You must realize that it is most likely that there is something wrong with your ideas and practices, not that you are not working hard enough, not persistently enough.
As the saying goes, heart disease needs heart medicine, and the same goes for ideas and practices. At this time, what you need more is to change your thinking in time. Only when you do the right thing and do it in the right way can your efforts and persistence be meaningful and valuable.
Tactical diligence will never make up for strategic mistakes, but will sink deeper and deeper down the wrong path.
Everyone has times when they make mistakes and make mistakes, and it is not shameful or ridiculous to see and do wrong. The key is to be able to detect and correct it in a timely manner.
Therefore, never take your own views and ideas too seriously, and look at things from the perspective of others and from multiple perspectives.
For example, when making business decisions, companies should look at things from the perspective of industry trends, customers, suppliers and competitors, rather than taking them for granted.
Why are many industries in China so volatile and why is there such a serious overcapacity? One of the important reasons is that each company believes that it can beat the other and become the final winner of the industry reshuffle, so it vigorously expands production.
But ever wondered? Other companies think the same way when expanding production, which means that you yourself are not as strong as you think, at least in the eyes of other companies.
When dealing with interpersonal relationships, it is necessary to look at the problem from the other person's point of view, rather than treating others as oneself. Everyone, including saints and celebrities, cannot guarantee that they will never see and do it wrong.
You yourself can't guarantee that your views will be correct, not to mention that other people's cognitions, ways of doing things, and three views are different from yours. Then why are you so keen to put your own views on others, to give advice to others, to interfere with others, to speculate on others, to evaluate others, to argue with others?