In the past two days, there has been a discussion on the Internet about the phenomenon of "gnawing the old".
The reason is actor Song Dandan, who expressed his support for his children to gnaw the old in a variety show.
"I allow my children to gnaw on the old, I gave birth to him and brought him into this world, he wants to gnaw me, why don't you let him gnaw?"
After speaking, he added: You can gnaw me, don't gnaw others.
One stone stirs up a thousand waves.
Netizens reacted very violently to this.
Some people say that there are 1.4 billion people in China, how many parents have the strength to give their children a bite? As a public figure, you still have to think about it before you can say the answer.
Some people also say that I only have two requirements for my children, the first is not to break the law, and the second is not to gnaw at the old.
It's so pathetic to gnaw at the old man.
In fact, it is also understandable why netizens reacted so violently.
Because of this topic, it can be said that it pokes at the dilemma shared by many ordinary families:
How should parents properly support their adult children?
If parents are not capable at all, how can they let their children gnaw at the old?
The actual situation of each family is different.
Therefore, there are different attitudes towards it.
Today, let's take a good look at a question:
Is it appropriate to gnaw on the old?
Song Dandan's support for gnawing at the old reminded me of a debate in "Wonderful Sayings" a few years ago:
"After graduation, I have a very poor life, and my parents are willing to let me gnaw on the old, should I gnaw?"
The positive point of view is: we should gnaw the old.
When living in poverty, if you can get financial support from your parents, you can spend more time and money on self-improvement, which is more conducive to your own growth.
The opposing point of view is: you should not gnaw at the old.
Nibbling old age is sacrificing your parents' old age, and you should study hard in college to prepare for life after graduation.
Ran Gaoming, on behalf of Zhengfang, spoke about his personal experience.
After graduating from university, he had the opportunity to intern at a TV station, but because of the low salary of the internship, he chose to go to the zoo to make a living.
In order to earn money to support himself, he went to Chaoyang Park to perform a fire-breathing performance, and went to the zoo to dress up as a Southeast Asian hybrid and interact with sea lions.
You can earn 80 yuan by breathing fire, and you can earn 4,000 yuan by breathing fire in a summer vacation.
He smiled and said, "The reason why I am a little feminine now is because I spewed out all the yang energy during that summer vacation." ”
Once his mother came to see him at the zoo, but he didn't find his mother during the performance.
At the end of the performance, he found that when the audience was laughing, his mother hid and cried.
When Mom turned to go home, she sent him a sum of money to eat better outside.
Ran Gaoming said that he was indeed suffering, but this experience did not bring him much growth.
"Don't endure hardship for the sake of hardship, not only growth in exchange for hardship is growth, but hardship itself is hardship."
Chu Yin represents the opposite.
He recounted an experience he had when he was in college.
At that time, there were two children in the family, and the parents wanted to provide for the brothers to go to college together.
In order to save expenses, Chu Yin lives very frugally every day, and works very hard after graduating from college.
Therefore, he thinks about those families who are living in difficulty, and he believes that young people should not gnaw at the old because their parents are living a harder life than himself.
What if the young man gnaws at the old and wants to take away the money of his parents, then the life of the parents will be in trouble, they will lose their financial security, and they will get sick?
As a young person, what is it to endure a little hardship, if you can't get along in a big city, you can go to a second- or third-tier city, and parents have worked hard for their children for most of their lives, and it is even more difficult for them.
In the end, he said even more excitedly:
"You only think about your own future, the future of your parents, have you thought about it?"
In this debate, both sides spoke wonderfully, and the audience listened with tears in their eyes.
To tell the truth, both sides have a point.
If Ran Gaoming had accepted the help of his family and had not missed the opportunity to intern at a TV station, his future might be even more exciting;
If Chu Yin didn't work hard enough and didn't work hard enough, how could he become the person who rewrote his fate?
However, when the two sides were debating, they kept confusing one concept:
The meaning of the word "old" is completely different for children with different family conditions and different hearts.
Any point of view, regardless of objective facts, is a hooligan.
Some netizens in Zhihu put forward an idea:
You graduated from university and stayed in Beijing with a monthly salary of 5,000.
After deducting five insurances and one housing fund, 3890 is just enough to rent a house, commute and eat, and even a string of money is a luxury.
Your parents have a pension of 1W per month, and they take out 1k every month to subsidize you, so that you have the spare energy to improve yourself, do you accept it?
And if the old couple has no medical insurance and no pension, and when they are old, they have to go to the construction site to move bricks and sweep garbage on the street, do you take their hard-earned money or not?
If your family is the former, I think your answer must be acceptance.
Parents live a nourishing life, and there is no need for them to suffer what they shouldn't have.
If your family is the latter, I think your answer must be no.
It's not easy for yourself, but it's even more difficult for your parents.
Chu Yin is right, you can't just think about yourself, and don't think about your parents' future.
But this only means that families who are not materially good and cannot afford to help their children.
If the family conditions allow, gnawing on the old does not mean that you can only choose one or the other, and the parents who help their children will have no future.
Song Dandan's gnawing of the old man expressed in the show, as well as the gnawing of the old in Ran Gaoming's mouth, should be another meaning.
When parents are able to lift their children, they should take care of them as much as they can.
And with the help of your parents' support, you fly higher, which is only good for the whole family, and there is no harm.
In real life, there are not so many rules and regulations.
Parents eat delicacies at home, and it is impossible to watch you gnaw bones outside;
You are soaring, living in a luxury house and driving a luxury car, and it is impossible to watch your parents farm and eat sweet potatoes in your hometown.
This is a family, blessed and disadvantaged.
Regarding gnawing the old, there is a netizen's words that make people feel deeply:
"I will say to my children, you must gnaw my old in the future, I have built the wheel, you can use it directly, instead of repeating the wheel for generations, you can't jump out of this cycle.
I build the wheels, you build the body, and in the future your son can directly build the engine, so that he will have a complete car.
You should build on my foundation instead of repeating what I've already done over the decades. ”
In fact, the accumulation of wealth in many families is not achieved in the hands of one generation, but from the previous generation, continuing to pioneer the unfinished business.
There is no shame in gnawing the old, leaving the resources of parents not to use, and taking unnecessary detours, that is not called being able to endure hardship, that is called not being able to endure hardship.
Moreover, if the child really reaches the point of gnawing at the old, it means that he is not yet able to support himself.
It is better to gnaw at parents than to run into a wall outside or gnaw at others, which is actually to protect children from grievances.
There is nothing wrong with this kind of thinking.
No matter how old the child grows up, no matter what time it is, parents will be the strongest backing for their children.
Seriously, I believe that most people in life will envy those peers who have old age to "gnaw".
You have just graduated, you live outside the Fifth Ring Road in order to save money, commute to work for several hours every day, eat cheap food every day, and when you are still confused about how many years you have to struggle to pay the down payment on the house, turn your head and look:
The roommate who came out of the same dormitory as himself has already arranged the garage at home, and he just needs to plan for the future.
At this time, do you say that you are envious?
But you can only envy it, because you know that your parents have limited abilities, and they have done their best to raise you.
At this time, you can especially resonate with the type of people Chu Yin said.
In many cases, it is not a question of whether you want to gnaw on it or not, but whether there is a problem at home.
The premise of gnawing the old is that there is old to gnaw.
Your parents are obviously incapable, but you ignore the family's financial conditions and endlessly ask your parents for money and goods to achieve your own living standards.
There are even more hateful people, lazy and selfish, who are adults but do not work hard and endlessly exploit the labor of their parents.
These behaviors are not called gnawing at the old, but by knocking on bones and sucking the marrow, or sucking blood.
The most terrifying thing about gnawing at the old is not gnawing at the old itself, but the unscrupulous, losing the fighting spirit of life, and gnawing at the old like a vampire.
And the gnawing of the old in Song Dandan's mouth, in my opinion, is not called gnawing the old, it is called inheritance.
Our country's most particular inheritance, the previous generation has the responsibility to educate the next generation, and the next generation has the responsibility to support the previous generation, which is the cultural code written into our genes.
When the child has the ability, he naturally does not need to be helped by his parents;
When children are frustrated in society, can parents still let them endure freezing and starvation?
The reason is very simple: if the parent company does not support the subsidiary, the development of the group will not be long-term.
Only by using their own resources to let their children and grandchildren not suffer unnecessary hardships and relay from generation to generation, will future generations get better and better.
Therefore, there is no fixed answer and right or wrong for gnawing at the age.
I believe that every young person who has a negative attitude towards the topic of gnawing the old will eventually grow into a parent who is willing to support and support his child when he is able.
As the old saying goes:
"Parents don't want their children to go down the same old path."
They know how difficult and difficult that road is, so they hope that their children can stand on their shoulders and open up a broader road and move forward leisurely.