Post-90s divorce is not an uncommon thing today.
But in the marriage and love market, many people still avoid divorced men and divorced women when they hear about them.
If you ask why you don't consider this group when looking for a partner, the answer is nothing more than that.
Some people say that divorced people are realistic;
Some people say that divorced people are shrewd;
Some people say that those who have been divorced are incompetent in love.
Is this the case? Today I want to hear what they have to say about divorced men and divorced women.
I chose to be with a divorced man because of my strong psychology.
My ex-boyfriend is 34, 6 years older than me, divorced, and the house is left to the children and ex-wife.
His explanation is that he has the ability to earn another apartment, and although he leaves, he doesn't want his former family to be embarrassed.
Not to mention anything else, I think at least this point can see that he is affectionate, righteous and responsible.
I asked him the reason for the divorce, and he only said that the two people had different ideas.
The verdict also reads in black and white that "the relationship between husband and wife has indeed broken down, and there is no possibility of reconciliation."
He opened a creative restaurant in our new first-tier city with a high per capita consumption.
Usually he can stay in the store all night long, shuttling between several private rooms, and accompanying his customers to socialize.
It just so happens that for me, professionalism is a man's black silk.
Coupled with the fact that he is a divorced man, I inexplicably think that he should no longer have those ethereal thoughts.
And I'm more inclined to pragmatic feelings.
Everyone says that divorced men are more calculating in all aspects, but he seems to be very willing to spend money for me.
On the first day of the relationship, he gave me a gold chain.
But then I realized that this generosity is like an emotional compensation:
"I've already paid for it, so don't ask me to put in too much emotion and time anymore."
Sometimes when I say I want to see him, he will only ask me to bring my friends to his restaurant for dinner, and he will arrange it;
We finally went abroad together, and he held his mobile phone from time to time to communicate with his ex-wife about what gifts to bring to the elderly and children;
Even when he was in the cinema with me, he wore headphones for online parent-teacher conferences.
Honestly, sometimes I mistakenly think that I am a third party in his marriage.
He took me to his house, and at first I wondered why he rented a house of more than 100 square meters by himself.
It wasn't until I found out that all the traces in that house showed that he was much more connected to his ex-wife than I thought.
I wouldn't even sit on the silk linen that day, because someone had obviously taken care of it.
I don't know how he and his ex-wife get along now, and I don't want to delve into it.
I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore until he has managed his relationship with his ex-wife.
My girlfriend was divorced, and I knew it from the first day we met.
That day, we were in the game of the mutual friend group, and everyone drank too much and began to talk openly about divorced men and divorced women, who have a certain sexual charm.
She rolled her eyes and said:
"Pull it down, you who have never been married are treating us as wives and husbands."
also joked that "the status of the first marriage is as precious as the identity of the fresh graduate, you must not waste it easily".
At that time, I had a crush on her, because I liked her so generous and neat personality.
I don't know much about her marriage.
I only heard from a friend that she and her ex-husband used to be in the advertising circle, and the marriage proposal ceremony was quite grand that year.
But less than a year after getting married, the man was caught and raped in bed by her.
My girlfriend made it clear to me that she would not be married again.
I said no problem, after all, I was not sure about "marriage".
But my hard mouth soon received a heavy blow.
After almost two years of love, she still doesn't want to live with me, and asks the two of them to live separately, and they don't rely on each other financially.
Even we adopted a stray dog together, and my girlfriend wouldn't let him recognize me as a "daddy".
The more she separated from me, the more insecure I became.
It's like there's a non-existent voice that reminds me all the time:
She seems to have turned on the anti-addiction mode in this relationship to avoid forming a long-term intimate relationship with me.
I couldn't pretend to be casual anymore, so I offered her to define our relationship.
My girlfriend admits that she was a little evasive at first, but now she finds that the distance does make her feel comfortable.
She said that people don't have to enter into the relationship of firewood, rice, oil and salt, and love doesn't have to have a purpose;
She wants us to be curious about each other forever in this relationship.
I was convinced, but only temporarily.
Because I always feel that love is the sinking of free will, I still hope to have a possibility of sinking with her.
I am 31 years old and have been married for a short time without children.
He gave me a sum of money at the time of the divorce and the house belonged to him.
The reason is that he needs a house for remarriage, but I don't have to.
In his exact words: "All the men you meet in the future are just there to sleep with you." ”
This sentence hung above my head like a dagger, and I was afraid that it would actually fall one day.
So much so that when I encounter the kind of people who say they want to marry me after talking for a long time, I will be so frightened that I will run away.
The person I envy the most is my former colleague Sister Ning.
Sister Ning said that after divorcing her ex-husband of Phoenix Man, who has been married for 6 years, she has a car, a house and a child, and there is nothing to be afraid of losing in the second half of her life.
Now no matter what conditions she encounters for a date, she only thinks about whether the other party is worthy of her and whether she can make herself happy.
But not everyone can live such a cool life, such as me.
My mother has been talking to me for the past two years, the first marriage is looking for the first marriage, the second marriage is looking for the second marriage, don't be too high-minded.
But in fact, divorced men dare to directly say that they don't look for divorced women, but I don't have the right to choose a mate at all, only the fate of being picked.
Last year I ended an 11-month relationship.
After living together for two months, he was going to take me to meet my parents.
That day, he told me that he hadn't done his parents' ideological work yet, and hoped that I wouldn't mention that I had been divorced for the time being.
I felt a little hurt and asked him if he thought my divorce was disgraceful.
Only then did I realize that he had not hinted at his parents, but as soon as they heard the word "second marriage", they strongly objected.
He said he wanted to work harder, but I didn't want to.
After all, I have already fought the so-called battle of marriage, and I don't think that the result will be to bring peace, and it may be another chicken feather;
Because the more you need to work your marriage, the more unhappy it will be.
To be honest, I don't think divorce is the worst outcome.
The worst ending is that he is obviously divorced, but he still lets his mental strength be damaged in the past relationship.
Since we have chosen to divorce, it means that we have chosen another beginning.
Again, it's not just marital property that should be divided;
And the present you and the past self.
The marriage that was called to be stopped is just a typhoon transit, not the end of the world.
Always let yourself in the new stage wait for you in the new world.