Author|Xie Minghong
Editor|Li Chunhui
Twenty years ago, on the Chinese Internet, if you wanted to say "abstain from color", I am afraid it would be regarded as heresy.
Your grades are poor because you are stupid and don't work hard, your poor body is because you're lazy and don't exercise, and you're ugly because you don't know how to do it. So, "Color" is what's wrong with you? Don't blame your anger and misfortune on the crotch.
Founded in 2010, Baidu Qu Se Bar has been a source of happiness for netizens for a long time. They advocate abstinence before marriage, birth control after marriage, self-cultivation, inspiration, and encourage bar friends to regain the beauty lost due to masturbation and decadence. The famous quotation reads, "The lustful man achieves nothing, and the adulterous man is poor all his life." In order to find a solid theoretical basis, they even traced back to the classical Chinese medicine system of "reinvigorating the brain" and interdisciplinary with Buddhism to carry out religious deterrence against sexual addicts.
But the truth is often in the hands of a few, and if not, you wait. More than ten years ago, the "abstinence" countercurrent has now become a popular trend sweeping men and women around the world. White women launched Boysober (Male Quit Action), national women opposed sexual fate brains, national men began to abstain from sex punch cards, the most unheard of perverts, even fagws pursued a side orientation and advocated platonic!
For a time, sexual depression was like a ghost floating over the world. This round of the trend of quitting sex from short videos is not to advocate the old "harmful theory of sexual desire", but to play a one-size-fits-all game, and suddenly I am not interested in the opposite sex and the same sex, and it has also raised all kinds of practical benefits and theoretical heights to "quit sex".
If the world is a huge precept, then today's young people must have entered the "age of sages". What exactly is quitting sex is a rather serious question.
White Woman Martial Man
"What are the canons of the Hundred Flowers Sect?" "You are not allowed to touch your true feelings, you are only allowed to play with men. Once you have a relationship, you don't have to live, and there is no forgiveness for killing. "The ideas that are far ahead in the old drama "The Drunken Man" have recently triggered the archaeology of netizens: Has this sect been disbanded now? Whether it is a bachelor's degree or a junior college, and whether there is a master's degree.
Hard Candy Jun deeply feels that Boysober, which was launched by comedian Hope Woodard on Tik tok last year, has the same effect as the Hundred Flowers Cult. She called on women not to use dating apps, not to date, not to engage in romantic relationships, not to contact their exes, and not to engage in intimate behaviors including hugging and kissing. "For the first time in my life, after quitting men, I felt like I was exercising sovereignty over my body," Hope said. ”
It is important to note that, just as alcoholsober, who declares abstinence, regularly picks up bottles, boysober is not a permanent abstinence. Rather, it is equivalent to a cooling-off period between two intimate relationships, encouraging women to focus on their inner needs and not always revolve around men in their actions and thoughts.
However, there are also ruthless people such as Gabriel, who claim to have quit for 23 years, have never kissed a boy, and believe that this state can continue indefinitely. It seems that the high school life in Europe and the United States, which is full of desires, diverse orientations, and rich emotions, is used to coax us on the other side of the ocean. Compared with the unbridled women in North America, there are also virgin conservatives there.
Carly said that after being a boysober, she can finally treat men as ordinary people, instead of falling into the anxiety of dressing up and wanting to be noticed by them. "Because as long as you have a creature like a man in your head, they will pop up and affect your lipstick when you go out to put on makeup. This girl can apply whatever she likes, and the straight men who have no aesthetics will dodge them all. ”
An even more unexpected benefit of quitting men is the time cost that Emma mentioned. She's never been like a sister who has been dumped by a man, and she's glad she's been single since she was an adolescent, so she can pay more attention to herself — you have plenty of time to look forward to and be interested in a lot of things. "Because once you're in an intimate relationship, you have to think about a lot of things to do together, and you can't even choose your favorite movie to watch."
There were also some jokes, and Brielley posted a recording of the phone call with the man. She asked the other party what she liked about herself, and the man made it up: "You are beautiful, you have good interests and personality, Emmm, I want to sleep with you." The words that appear in the original video are more direct, and Brielley smiles wryly and says that's why I don't want to talk to men.
Actually, it's the same on our side. On the first day, we talked about life, Schopenhauer, Freud, and the tragic experiences of his childhood, and on the second day, I wanted to see the photos taken without makeup. Unlike the white man, the national man has a longer forward swing cycle. Hong Huang called this behavior "Mind fuck" in "Infinite Motion", and first made the girl faint before making a move.
In All About Love, Bear Hooks exposes the sociological roots of the "mechanism of men's addiction". The lack of conscious attention from fathers in the family makes women more likely to be angry with men and more likely to be content with whatever attention a man can give in intimate relationships. "They overestimate that attention and mistake it for love."
Kunio Martial Colors
is different from the coaxing and intimidation of the former abstinence bar, today's national male abstinence is more like a self-discipline ceremony or self-discipline performance. They are determined to change the depressed state of life, check in on short videos and arouse onlookers, thus forming a collective interest of online supervision.
Onlookers watched Brother Self-Discipline and Brother Reward's quit color check-in, showing the complex tension of network technology and shame iteration. The emergence and prosperity of the abstinence community benefited from the new medium that eliminated stigma. In life, you have to say to your relatives and friends, "I'm going to quit sex today", which can be called sexual harassment. But if you swear to netizens, then you are the best "quit friend".
"Daben Quit Color" shares his quit color check-in on Douyin every day, from the tormenting "fingers to count the days" to the so-called "practice daily class": get up early every day to rub the abdomen (traditional channeling), meditate, Baduanjin, learn nutrition or something. The same content, change the gender and put it in Xiaohongshu, the title is probably "Self-Discipline Girl's Daily Vlog at Home". When I got to the old brother who quit sex, it can be called a practice.
"Tao Xiao Tao" even established a whale gate (abstinence door), as a small fitness blogger with 100,000 fans, every day to update his early muscle state. There are three main concerns about abstinence among fitness bloggers: one is protein loss, the second is that it affects the next day's training status, and the third is that it leads to a drop in testosterone levels. Studies have shown that although there is a 145.7% increase in testosterone levels after the seventh day of abstinence, this sudden increase in hormone will slowly fall back to average due to hypothalamic regulatory mechanisms.
There is no woman in my heart, and I wield a knife to the god of nature? Men associate the performance of sports competition with abstinence, which is obviously a new variant of the "harmful theory of sexual desire" and the "theory of red face and bad water". Every time I see a fitness blogger shouting at his girlfriend "Hurry up before the game", I feel disgusted. Look at Zhou Jaejing in Han Man, you have to find a handsome brother before every competition, and the results are still good. In addition, according to the speculation of the masses about the fitness personnel who have used technology, it seems that it is not very important.
"The husband is the essence of the body." The traditional atrial surgery pays attention to "reinvigorating the brain" and "holding it firmly", believing that indulgence hurts the body. This statement intensified, and it became the head of all evils and fornications of the abstinence bar.
In the doctrine of abstinence, the brain and semen become substances that can be converted into each other. The vice of masturbation is tantamount to squeezing out the brain, which naturally makes the grades worse. What's more, they believe that poor grades and a "syllabic face" are karmic obstacles to the karmic cycle of cause and effect. All of these are simple attributions of personal success and failure, so that everyone can find solace in the soul.
If the abstinence can change one's luck, then the monk is the most suitable to be the emperor (Zhu Yuanzhang laughs), but the problem is that the true monk has no mundane desire to make contributions. However, the Internet is becoming more and more tolerant of masturbation. Ridiculous words such as "set off fireworks", "reward yourself" and "make wontons" show that it is no longer a distorted color. Color, although it is still buttoned up with some hats, has long lost the evil filter of the era of quitting color.
Ring 1
When ordinary people are just becoming proficient in using the 1,0 expression, Gay bloggers are already discussing side, a new label that is different from the traditional bottom, top, and vers, that is, no traditional 1,0 behavior, as long as pure love and emotional output. A branch should be separated between the hands to prevent physical contact.
It is said that the inventor of this term is Joe Kort, director of gender relations and sexual health at Royal Oak in Michigan, USA. After adopting the new label, more than 4 million users of the same-sex dating app Grinder chose the side option. In other words, so many users have been forced to choose other tags before. Domestic social software should also be learned immediately, accurately distinguish users, and meet everyone's diverse needs.
In the face of fresh labels, netizens also immediately launched sharp comments. High EQ: side. Low EQ: Su Peisheng and Cui Jinxi. Some people even think that side is to nourish the stomach 1 and hemorrhoids 0, it is 0.5 to nourish the stomach and hemorrhoids, or even two 0 to eat, in short, they doubt their ability. The blogger "Bao Bao Xiong" is a personal foreign phone book in China, and he is also confused about what side means. In his understanding, everyone has the right to take a break once in a while to find space for physical and mental exhaustion.
"We side because we want to hug, how many unnecessary X's have been suffered." In the eyes of some determined side groups, sex is just a thorny path for them to get attention and love. Now that the side has been invented, it's best to skip unnecessary links.
Hard Candy strongly recommends introducing the SIDE concept into the heterosexual community, which is high-end and fresh and can cover all kinds of hidden diseases. For example, the wives of Xiaohongshu who complain about sexless marriage every day, the husband can calmly say: "Is it okay if I want to side up today?" "It's not that I don't love it anymore, it's just a side.
It is the cyclical nature of sexual concepts, the contraceptive effect of urbanization, or the internal regulation of population expansion. The pluralistic expression of intimacy has become a common trend from white women to national women to address books. People who think they were once in a vulnerable position in their intimate relationships want to change the situation and resort to shock therapy.
People need to separate intimacy from sexuality, and they need to be more separated from sexual choices. Foucault said: "The individual is able to achieve self-transformation through a series of manipulations of his own soul, thoughts, behaviors, and ways of being. "The core of the abstinence is undoubtedly the reconstruction of the lost subjectivity. The vows are only a way and an appearance, and in essence, the youth actively expresses their desire to control their bodies, their desires, and their destiny.
Perhaps before rushing to bed, we now need to think more about "who I am" and "what I need".