Do you have any of the following feelings or experiences when you are in a relationship?
◍ Pay attention to details: the little things can make you feel like "they don't love me anymore" or "sure enough, they don't like me that much".
◍ Don't say it directly: You like to let the other person guess your thoughts, and you may feel that your needs should not be met until they are spoken, but should be seen early.
◍ Applying pressure, over-taking: You may often think "since you are my lover, you should ......"
◍ Very passive in the relationship: you are afraid to express your feelings and needs, and you are afraid to let the other person see your truest self.
◍ Oversensitivity: Irritable because of the other party's occasional non-reply to messages, and countless "scripts" have been conceived in their minds because of an unintentional look or an unintentional word from the other party.
图源：《Nomal People》
In fact, the above are all manifestations of "obsessive attachment", I don't know how many of them have you hit?
01
What is obsessive attachment
Obsessive attachment is one of the four types of attachment.
Psychologists classify attachment types into four types: secure, obsessive, detached, and fearful based on the level of anxiety and avoidance that people exhibit in intimate relationships.
Obsessive people show a higher level of anxiety in intimate relationships, and often suffer from gains and losses because of the other party's unintentional words and failure to respond to messages in a timely manner.
Because you care about each other very much, care about the relationship, and are afraid that the other person will leave you, you will show different degrees of paranoia and sensitivity.
02
What should I do if I am obsessively attached
Distinguish between "emotion" and "facts". During an anxiety attack, think about what makes you feel bad, is this due to true facts or your assumptions?
Pay attention to your feelings. Use your time to "invest in yourself", expand your social circle, enrich your hobbies, and divert your attention.
Adjust the way you get along. Maintain an emotional distance in intimate relationships, give each other enough time and space, and don't see it as a sign of "not loving".
Want to know your detailed attachment style and relationship pattern interpretation? Want to know what makes you "dull pain" in a relationship? Taking the initiative to understand yourself is the first step to improving your relationship. This assessment provides you with a comprehensive assessment of the state of your relationship and a dedicated guide:
"Test your attachment style"
👆 Scan the QR code to receive the assessment immediately*The assessment results are for reference only
Slowly, we can all become better versions of ourselves and have healthier relationships.
Author: Yu Han
Editor-in-charge: kk
*The results are for reference only
Test your attachment style