When I went to the river today, I saw a sister paper crying so sad by the river, worried that she would jump into the river and commit suicide, I was in a hurry, rushed to the side of the sister paper, and urinated on the river, and then the sister paper looked at me with disgust... Let's go.......
I was in Wanda Plaza today, and I saw a Rolls-Royce about to park in a parking space, so I went up and knocked on his window, threw in a hundred yuan and said to him, "I have taken a fancy to this parking space, you can park somewhere else!" "He threw a dozen 100 at my face and told me to get out of the way. Later, I did the same...... The effect is amazing, and I made more than 20,000 yuan in one morning. Needless to say, a Lamborghini drove up...... I'm tired when I'm busy!
The phone rang, and Section Chief Zhao's son picked up the microphone and asked in a milky voice, "Hey, who are you looking for?" "Please ask Section Chief Zhao to answer the phone." "Daddy isn't home." "This Xiao Zhao also runs out on Sundays." The other muttered. The son tilted his head and blinked: "Hey, are you looking for Section Chief Zhao or Xiao Zhao?" "Aren't Xiao Zhao and Section Chief Zhao both your fathers, and they're not the same?" "It's different! My father said that anyone who looks for Section Chief Zhao will say that he is not at home; Anyone looking for Xiao Zhao will wake him up. ”
There is a new beauty in the unit, assigned to Brother Qiang's office. Then, there was an endless stream of people who came to Brother Qiang's office to consult and do business. Brother Qiang was very enthusiastic and patiently introduced the beauties one by one: "This is Xiao Zhang, and my girlfriend is also from our unit...... This is Xiao Wang, married...... This is Xiao Li, and the children are already in kindergarten......"
There is a transfer student in the class, and the amount of knowledge is super rich. One day, the teacher had a difficult chemistry problem, and everyone was stupid, so the teacher named the transfer student. He stood up and raised his glasses: "In English or Chinese?" My buddies and I were stunned. The teacher said, "Do you try it in English?" The classmate said domineeringly: "I don't know." ”
Working as a network administrator in an Internet café, a friend came to the Internet café to go online and provoked the gangsters, and the gangsters brought more than 10 people to come over and say that they were going to beat my friend, and I was not happy at that time, and I cut off the Internet at once, and all the Internet people in the Internet café stood up at once, and scared the gangsters away at that time. Witty as I am
College starts, freshmen report. In the restaurant, I happened to meet a new father and son eating at the same table. Although it was eating, the father and son were looking left and right. Several senior sisters passed by, and the two of them couldn't take their eyes off it. My father's neck was turning, and he almost rubbed my face. The father turned around, unable to hide the embarrassment just now, so he had to say to his son, "Do you like it?" The son bowed his head in shame. "If you like it, go after it, you're an adult when you go to college, and I'll ask your mother to transfer you some money when you go back, you can't be a good girl if you don't have money!" The son looked at his father in surprise and opened his mouth wide in excitement. "Of course, this money ...... It's still the old rule, I'll smoke two percent......"
When I first got married, I saw a text message from my sister-in-law on my wife's mobile phone: Sister, put more salt in the first cooking, and I won't let you cook in the future. Sure enough, when my wife was cooking, others put salt and scooped it with a small spoon, and she directly picked up the jar and poured it. I pour myself a pot of water before eating, and then I eat the salty vegetables until I lick the plate... After licking it, he said that he had never eaten it
Drinking with a few buddies, my wife called and said, "Come back early, my sister will stay in the next room to our house tonight, don't go to the wrong room when you come back." I pretended to be drunk and went straight into my sister-in-law's room, quickly stripped naked and got into the quilt and snapped...... After the incident, the wife said contentedly: "Actually, my sister didn't come at all, I waited for you in this room, how about my husband, isn't it exciting?"
One day, a pilgrim went up the mountain to play and worship the Buddha, and when he entered the temple, he saw a group of young monks and no old monks. The tourists felt strange and asked the little monk, your master. The little monk replied, and the master said. Women are tigers that cannot be touched. Let's look good at home. He was going to go down to the mountains to fight tigers for the people, and he came back after dark.