My mother has a bone china cup, which my brother brought back to her from Jingdezhen, and my mother has always been a baby and loves it very much. Yesterday, I accidentally broke this cup, panicked, and hurriedly asked my father for help. Dad calmly took a sip of tea: Don't be afraid, I know where to sell, it's exactly the same, I've broken it twice......
In order to let me exercise more, my mother stopped the Internet at home and took my ID card to the Internet café 2 kilometers away to get me a membership of 1,000 yuan. Every night after eating, I confiscated the car keys and wallet, and urged me to play, and I lost 5 pounds in 1 month. Much better than the gym, mom.
Today, riding a dead fly, I saw a beautiful woman in the bend ahead. Prepare for a nice squeeze to pass. Syllable. Fell in front of the girl! The girl burst out laughing. If it were you, how would I stand up? ……
I went to buy fruit today, and the stall owner was a beautiful woman. Me: Five catties of red Fuji apples, weigh enough! Beauty: Not enough for me to be single for the rest of my life. Me: No, it's good if you don't marry me if it's not enough! I saw that the stall owner silently picked up several more and put them in the bag. I......
Height 168, weight 45kg, 25 years old this year, B cup, can be coquettish, can sell cute, never trouble others what he can accomplish, can cook, can do laundry, know how to respect elders, a man like me, why can't he find a boyfriend?
Today, our family finished dinner and chatted. My mother: Son, it's 24, don't be playing, hurry up and find a partner, get married. Me: What's the hurry, I'm only 24, and I can still play for a few years! At this time, the little sister next to me suddenly said, brother, if you play for a few more years, won't that sister-in-law let others play for a few years?
When I was in high school, I lost a big adventure, so I asked me to ask for a kiss from the forward senior on the basketball court, and asked for a kiss! My mother-in-law, I've never been so nervous when I'm so old, and I can't stop trembling when I speak: "That, can you kiss me?" "I didn't expect the opponent's point guard to walk in front of me and kiss me directly. Didn't my husband say just now: "I have never seen this kind of request in my life, I have been married for three years, and there is still a gap of more than 90 million!" ”
A former friend was a big smoker, smoked 3 packs of Marlboro a day, smoked for 3 years, and unfortunately passed away last year. The scene was very cruel, blood was spurting from the mouth, and there was a pool of blood on the ground more than one square meter, and since then, I have been telling my friends around me that you must look at the traffic lights when crossing the street, and people can't hit cars.
The puppy said to the kitten: Guess how many pieces of candy I have in my pocket? The kitten said, "Did you give me food if you guessed right?" The puppy nodded: Well, I guessed that both pieces will be given to you! The kitten swallowed and said, "I guess five!" Then the puppy smiled and put the candy in the kitten's hand and said, "I still owe you three pieces." - This is not a joke of low IQ, but, because I love you, I allow your petty greed. The cat excitedly ate these two pieces of candy with a large amount of sleeping pills and passed out. Then it was doggy 666
My brother took his niece to play on the slide, my niece was wearing a pink gauze skirt, she just climbed up and hugged the skirt all the way, just about to slide down, her expression was ready, and she was instantly grabbed by her father with the collar, and said while grabbing, how can you be so like your mother, who dares to marry you when you grow up? Where to find a man like a second dad ......