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Dictation: Kim Jae-sung
Text arrangement: wind chimes
My name is Kim Jae-sung and I am 63 years old. When I think back to my previous work, I was very concerned about what people thought of me and what they said about me, which made me feel anxious and hesitant a lot.
I remember one time, there was a project in the company, and the leader asked me to be in charge. I was so nervous, I always thought, "If I don't do this well, what will my colleagues think of me?" What will the leader think? ”
I work overtime, and I'm afraid that something will go wrong. Sometimes when I come home at night, I feel so tired that I don't even want to talk. My wife looked at me like that and asked me distressedly, "Zaicheng, why do you always come back so late late?" Is it so hard at work? ”
I sighed and said, "Hey, I'm afraid that if I don't do well, people will talk about me." ”
My wife listened and comforted me: "Zaicheng, don't put too much pressure on yourself." Do your best and have a clear conscience. ”
I listened to my wife's words, and I felt a little better, but the anxiety still lingered.
Sometimes, I even miss out on some good opportunities because I care too much about what others think. I remember one time, there was an opportunity for promotion in the company, and I was quite suitable, but I thought to myself, "What if I apply and don't get promoted?" Will my colleagues laugh at me? ”
As a result, I didn't apply, and that opportunity was given to someone else. Afterwards, I regretted it in my heart: "Kim Jae-sung, Kim Jae-sung, why are you so unproductive?" I don't even have the courage to give it a try. ”
This mentality of caring too much about other people's eyes not only consumes my energy, but also affects my family life. My wife and children also felt the pressure on me, and the atmosphere in the house became tense.
Now that I think about it, I was so stupid at that time. I cared too much about what others thought about me, but I neglected my own feelings and the happiness of my family.
Now that I'm retired, I'm slowly starting to adjust my mindset. I told myself, "Kim Jae-sung, other people's opinions are not so important, the key is to live happily and freely." ”
I began to pay more attention to my hobbies and hobbies, communicate more with my family and friends, and make my life more colorful.
I've also learned to let go and stop caring so much about other people's opinions and evaluations. After all, life is your own, and whether you live well or not, you know best in your heart. I just want to enjoy my retirement and live every day with my family.
When I first retired, I was a little uncomfortable. I used to be busy, but suddenly I was idle, and my heart was empty. One day, I was at home, my wife went to the market to buy vegetables, and my children went to work, I sat on the balcony alone, looking at the scenery outside the window, and thought: "Zai Cheng, Zai Cheng, you have time now, should you find something you like to do?" ”
I started trying to go for a walk in the park by myself, get some fresh air, and listen to the birds. At first, I felt a little lonely, but slowly, I started to enjoy the feeling of being alone. I said to myself, "You see, it's good to be alone, it's free. ”
Retirement has taught me to be alone, and it has also taught me that I am not as important as I think I am in the eyes of others. I started to pay more attention to my own feelings and stopped caring too much about what other people thought. This change in mindset has made my life much easier and more enjoyable.
Now, I just want to enjoy every day, do what I love, and live the life I want.
In the past, I always unconsciously scrolled through the circle of friends and watched other people's dynamics. This makes me feel anxious and restless from time to time, as if my life is always not as exciting as others.
I decided to close the circle of friends to reduce the distractions of social networks. I said to my wife, "I want to give it a try, stop scrolling through the circle of friends, and focus on my own life." ”
Hearing this, the wife smiled and nodded: "This is a good idea, you should have done it a long time ago." ”
I turned off the Moments feature and started to turn my attention to my own life. I started to develop my own hobbies, such as gardening, reading, and writing. Whenever I want to pick up my phone and swipe the circle of friends, I remind myself: "Zai Cheng, don't you have to focus on your life?" Let's do something meaningful. ”
One day, I was mruning flowers and plants in the yard, and my wife came over, looked at me busy, and said with a smile, "Look, isn't this good?" Much better than looking at your phone all day. ”
I wiped my sweat and responded with a smile: "Yes, I feel much more grounded now, and I enjoy this simple and fulfilling life more." ”
Sometimes, old friends will ask me: "Zai Cheng, why don't you update the circle of friends?" We don't know what you're up to. ”
I would laugh and reply, "I'd rather spend my time on real life than on virtual social networks." When we have time, we can come out and get together and chat face-to-face. ”
After closing the circle of friends, I found that my mood became more peaceful and less susceptible to the lives and emotions of others. I've learned to enjoy being alone, enjoying time with family and friends, and enjoying every little thing in life.
I realized that life is my own, not for others to see. I prefer to devote my time and energy to the people and things that really matter, rather than consuming myself on social networks. This change has made my life more fulfilling and meaningful.
I particularly like a quote from Eileen Chang: "Life is a choice, not a comparison." These words really speak to my heart. So, I decided to live my retirement the way I liked and stop letting other people's words affect me.
I said with deep feeling: "Yes, I used to care too much about what other people thought of me, but now that I have figured it out, I want to choose my own lifestyle." ”
I don't go to those boring parties anymore, and I don't change myself anymore to cater to others. I started reading, writing, and even learning to draw. Whenever I immerse myself in my hobby, I feel especially fulfilled and happy.
After retiring, I slowly understood a truth: people don't need the approval of others to live, nor do they need to be jealous of others, let alone the appreciation of others. I choose to stay away from those who are excluded from right and wrong, don't care about the eyes and evaluations of others, and be myself quietly.
Before I retired, I always cared about what my colleagues thought of me and what my boss said about me. But now, I'm retired, and I've figured it out, I have to live for myself.
One day, I was walking in the park and happened to meet my former colleague Lao Liu, I knew that he would show me off again that he had 2 jobs, and he was hired back to work. Lao Liu looked at me and said proudly: "Zaicheng, you are quite comfortable in retirement, unlike us who still have to go to work every day." ”
I knew in my heart that Lao Liu had something to say, but I didn't care, I just smiled faintly: "Lao Liu, retirement is to enjoy life, and I am tired enough when I work." ”
Lao Liu still wanted to say something, but seeing my attitude, he didn't say anything more. I thought to myself: "Zai Cheng, Zai Cheng, you are now free, you don't care what others say, and you don't have to go to your heart." ”
Another time, I attended a calligraphy and painting class at a community center, and there was a man named Lao Chen who always liked to point out other people's works. Once, when he saw my paintings, he began to comment: "Zaicheng, your painting is not professional enough, and the lines are not smooth enough." ”
When I heard this, I didn't get angry, but smiled and said, "Lao Chen, I'm looking for some fun after retirement, and I don't want to be a painter, just be happy." ”
Lao Chen was a little embarrassed when he heard me say this, so he didn't say anything anymore. I thought to myself, "You see, you have learned not to be affected by other people's evaluations, this is progress." ”
My wife also saw the change in me, and one night, she said to me, "Zaicheng, your mentality is really good now, and you are not as easily influenced by others as before." ”
I took my wife's hand and said with emotion: "Yes, I have figured it out, life is my own, not for others to see." As long as I live happily, what others say doesn't matter to me at all. ”
I learned to be myself quietly and no longer live to cater to others. This change in mindset has made my retirement life more fulfilling and happier. I finally understood that life is my own, not for others to see, I want to live my own wonderful life and enjoy my own every day.
In the past, I always wanted to be gregarious and have a good relationship with everyone, but I was tired and panicked, and I was exhausted. Once, there was a party, I didn't want to go, but I thought that if I didn't go, people would say that I was withdrawn, so I went hard.
At the party, I looked at those hypocritical politeness, listened to those boring gossip, and felt uncomfortable in my heart. I said to myself, "Zaicheng, why are you suffering? What's in it for you on this occasion? ”
Later, I couldn't stand it anymore and found an excuse to sneak out. When I got home, I was sitting on the sofa, and my wife saw that my face was not good, so she asked, "Zai Cheng, what's wrong?" Not happy at the party? ”
I sighed and said, "Wife, I don't think that kind of party is really meaningless, and I don't want to go there again." ”
My wife listened and said understandingly: "Zai Cheng, you are doing the right thing." When you retire, you should do something to make yourself happy and not force yourself. ”
Since then, I've started to distance myself from those social circles that don't fit in. Once, Lao Zhang asked me to attend an investment seminar and talked about what can make a lot of money. I knew in my heart that this kind of thing was risky, so I refused.
I said to Lao Zhang: "Lao Zhang, I am retired, I just want to be stable, and I will not participate in those high-risk things." ”
Lao Zhang was a little unhappy when he heard this, but I didn't care. I thought to myself, "Zai Cheng, you are doing the right thing, and when you retire, you have to stay away from these things that may consume you." ”
I also learned to leave those who didn't deserve it. I used to have a friend Lao Li, who always liked to take advantage of small advantages, and every time he went out to eat, he waited for others to pay. Once, when he came again, I said bluntly: "Lao Li, let's eat AA system in the future, so fair." ”
Lao Li listened to it and was a little embarrassed, but I didn't care. I thought to myself, "Zai Cheng, you are protecting yourself, there is nothing wrong with it." ”
After retirement, I have come to understand that I can live the way I like by staying away from those inappropriate social circles, putting aside those social activities that consume me, and leaving those who are not worthy. In this way, our retirement will be happier.
Everyone's right?
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