1
"The Power of a Father" Li Ran
Recently, Guo Tao's book to demean women has been hyped up.
Out of curiosity, I found the book he wrote, "The Power of a Father," to read. The content itself has been almost ripped off by netizens, and there is nothing new except for the serious problem of straight male cancer.
Later, Guo Tao's wife Li Ran wrote the outer part "Outer Chapter Li Ran: Guo Tao and The Stone You Don't Know", which caught my attention.
Why? Because the tone of this outer chapter is too similar to Guo Tao!
Many of the contents echo the back and forth of Guo Tao's writing, including the ridiculous "gentle, good, respectful, thrifty, and let". This fit is almost suspicious that Guo Tao wrote it himself.
For example, in Li Ran's outer chapter, there is such a text:
"Guo Tao loves to think and is a good 'leader'; I love action and can implement his ideas in place."
Guo Tao said in the previous article: "In life, I am mainly responsible for grasping the general direction of the family, and she is more about handling transactional things. ”
The tone of both men is almost the same, and they both agree that the husband should be responsible for giving orders, and the wife only needs to carry them out."
Li Ran also mentioned: "All the efforts and sacrifices made for this family may be taken for granted by everyone." Therefore, the mentality of walking around children, husbands and the elderly, and enjoying themselves is the most important. ”
Guo Tao put forward in the front: "I measure the five-character standard of women: gentle, good, respectful, thrifty, and let. These five words xiao burned all done. ”
That is to say, Li Ran very much agrees with Guo Tao's five-character standard and supports it with actions.
I once thought that this article was written by Guo Tao himself, and both the tone and the approach were too similar.
Until I read Li Ran's Weibo, I believed that this article was written by Li Ran himself.
Because I went through Li Ran's Weibo content in the past year, all of them were written around her husband and children, and none of them were about myself! Whether it is hobbies or girlfriends, even if it is a personal emotional venting.
Li Ran's life has no time of his own, no hobbies and interests, and no circle of friends. Of course, she did not have time to think about her own life, and naturally she could not form her own thoughts and opinions.
You can only be attached to your husband for everything, and even the view of things will only be clouded. So it is not surprising that she wrote such a text that was in line with her husband's caliber.
2
Do Anjie or be Mrs. Guo
Speaking of Guo Tao, you will think of Jiang Defu and Anjie played by Mei Ting in "Parental Love".
Anjie can marry Jiang Defu, but he will never marry Guo Tao, a patient with advanced cancer in straight men. Because Anjie is a woman who loves herself too much.
In that era, male and female protagonists were the general trend of society. But Anjie still retained his job and personal hobbies.
She placed two rattan chairs and a small round table under the grapevines in her yard. The small round table is covered with floral tablecloths, special coffee cups and vases with roses.
She has a confidant, Teacher Ge, and the two will pick one afternoon, under the grapevine, taste a cup of fragrant coffee and chat about topics of mutual interest.
Even Teacher Ge praised Anjie: "You really have a mood here, just like in the movie." ”
Even in old age, Anjie did not just revolve around her husband and children. She not only participated in the community dance competition, but also won the first place.
Su Qian, a famous modern female writer, once said: "The best way to love a person is to run yourself well and give the other party a high-quality lover." Instead of desperately being nice to a person, that person will love you desperately. Worldly feelings inevitably have a realistic side: you have value, and your efforts are valued. ”
It is also Anjie in the trivial life, do not forget the original intention, leave time and space for themselves, used to run themselves well.
She kept her hobbies, she kept her circle of friends, she read, she thought. So even though she got married and had five children, she still looked maverick and different.
Anjie's unique temperament not only made Jiang Defu fall in love with it, but also attracted the attention of the Romantic painter Xia Teacher, who invited her to be a model for herself.
Women who know how to run themselves and love themselves will become very attractive. And attractive women will naturally attract more people's attention.
Therefore, Jiang Defu will have a sense of crisis at any time, so he will spend more time and attention on Anjie.
Looking back at Li Ran, compared to Anjie, she lives a very selfless life. Even her evaluation of herself carries the imprint of her husband Guo Tao, and she must not be able to imagine what will happen after leaving Guo Tao.
She said this in the text: "Usually everyone always likes to put on the hat of 'Guo Tao and his daughter-in-law' to restrain me.
Guo Tao said: You have to be more demanding of yourself, so that you can improve yourself.
Later I thought about it: he was right, women have to be more demanding of themselves. Under his influence, I have improved a lot. ”
Li Ran used her husband's standard as a standard to restrain herself, and when she achieved her husband's requirements, she thought that she had made great progress.
I don't know if she is used to Madame Guo, has she ever envied Anjie who is herself?
3
A woman who loves herself teaches a child who understands love
My friend Xiaowen, like Li Ran, is also a full-time wife and a mother of two children.
But unlike Li Ran, she knows better than Li Ran how to leave time for herself to love herself.
Xiaowen and Li Ran need to take care of their children and families, but she will take time out every year to travel, only inviting girlfriends, not the kind with her husband and children.
She spends at least an hour a day reading and doing yoga, either after a child's nap or in the gap between doing housework.
She is far married, and whenever she returns to her hometown on holidays, she will take time to meet with three or five friends to meet alone and have a drink.
It is said that the mother's personality and way of doing things have a huge impact on the child. Only a woman who knows how to love herself can teach children who love life.
Under the influence of Xiaowen, her daughter has a particularly confident and cheerful personality. The little girl loves to read, loves to make friends, has her own aesthetics, and has her own little friends. Although he is only six years old, he can independently complete a assembled model of thousands of pieces.
Li Ran also mentioned in the article that he was influenced by his mother to a certain extent.
She said: "Mom is a traditional housewife, she has never worked, she is at home to take care of our three brothers and sisters. So I grew up thinking that women should be like mothers, with children at home and taking care of the family. ”
It is precisely because the mother is such a housewife who only knows how to circle around her husband's children, so Li Ran also learned the essence of motherhood, and all actions revolve around Guo Tao and the child. But she forgot that she herself was part of the family and an independent person.
Believe that no parent does not want their children to be confident and happy. I just don't know, Li Ran, who doesn't know how to set aside time to love himself, can cultivate a daughter who knows how to love himself.
4
Guo Tao said that he and Li Ran were complementary, in fact, this was not true, Li Ran just used himself to complete Guo Tao. Guo Tao was perfected, but Li Ran disappeared, leaving only Lady Guo.
The slogan "Love is brave and selfless" also confirmed her state of mind.
There is a sentence in the book "Calm Life Is Not Lonely" that is particularly well said: "Don't say that you belong to me, I belong to you." I'm not half, you're not half, we're all whole people. We need friendship and love, but we don't need cages and shackles. ”
So, while we love our families, please set aside time to love ourselves. We are not vassals of anyone, we are not born for whom.
We can have our own time, we can have three or five friends, we can have our own interests and hobbies.
Wilde said, "Love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
Only by setting aside more time to run ourselves can we not be eliminated by the era of rapid progress.
Only by loving yourself more can you have your own independent thoughts and opinions, and not be like everyone else.
Women who know how to love themselves can better improve themselves, make themselves more confident, and bring their own light. And this glow will also affect the next generation, making children more independent and confident.
Introduction: Instant Zhiheng, 35+ years old, Shandong people, Tang Xiaoxiao Writing Class 46th Basic Class students, love to read and write Bao Mom.