Adan is a first-year high school girl with a younger brother who is 6 years younger than herself. When she was 6 years old, she moved to study with her parents from other places, and at first she was afraid to socialize with her classmates due to the language barrier. Later, I slowly learned the local dialect, but I was teased by the boy because I couldn't speak well, and I didn't dare to speak even more. Her parents are busy with work every day, and they don't have much time to pay attention to and take care of her, and family interaction in daily life is relatively limited. There are two or three good junior high school classmates, but after entering high school, they are separated from each other, it is difficult to adapt to the new environment, they often live alone, they feel lonely and pitiful, their parents don't care about her, and they don't have good friends to talk to, plus the pressure becomes greater after entering high school, the grades are not ideal, they are afraid that their classmates will make fun of them, and the teachers will look down on them, and they dare not contact the people around them, dare not raise their hands to answer questions, and dare not ask questions to the teacher.
Her classmates gradually found her difficult to get close to, and as a result, she was gradually excluded from group activities and found it difficult to integrate into the new class. In order to give Adan the opportunity to exercise, the head teacher let her serve as a class cadre and manage class discipline, but due to her lack of experience, she did not communicate well with her classmates, and had a misunderstanding with some classmates in the process of class management, and was embarrassed by her classmates. After that, I didn't dare to participate in class management anymore, I was afraid of seeing the eyes of my classmates, hearing the comments of my classmates, and it was very uncomfortable to stay in the classroom to study. She thought that everyone around her was laughing at her, and she felt that she was not ashamed of herself and could not study, so she took a leave of absence and went home. Faced with high school life, Adan saw no hope.
When Adan first came to the consultation room, he didn't dare to speak. It wasn't until I gradually broke the strangeness that I talked about the reason why I came to intervene. Adan asked the Head of Year for permission to transfer to his class this semester, and after repeated requests from his parents, Adan was able to transfer from his original class to his current class. At the beginning of the school year, my personal self-state was okay, but after more than a month of school, I found that I couldn't study with peace of mind, and I always thought that my classmates around me were laughing at me, and I felt ashamed of myself no matter where I was. During the school period, I did not dare to talk to my classmates, and gradually developed to the point that I did not dare to go to the school cafeteria to eat.
Before Adan intervened, he hadn't been to school for nearly two weeks, mainly because he thought that the people around him were always looking at him in a strange light and laughing at him. In the past, Adan knew that he had a certain level of inferiority, but it was not as severe as it is now. Class transfer is required this semester. After changing classes, the situation improved slightly, but every time I met the original classmates, I felt very uncomfortable, thinking that the other party had already spread rumors in the grade, causing the new classmates to have opinions about themselves. Every day at school, Adan felt very uncomfortable, often taking time off for various reasons, unable to concentrate on his studies. Adan repeatedly emphasized that he was already embarrassed in front of his classmates, and he didn't dare to face them, nor did he want to face them.
In Adam's account, Adam came to the country with his parents as a child, and the language barrier caused a lot of trouble for Adam growing up, but his parents did not give him proper care and encouragement. In addition, Adam's parents focused more on raising the family and taking care of their younger brother, and neglected to care for Adam for a long time. From elementary school, to junior high school, to high school, his parents rarely bothered about Adam's daily life. The long-term lack of communication between parents and children makes Adan unable to feel the love of his parents, and even if he encounters setbacks at school, he is reluctant to tell his parents, and he has the habit of hiding sad things in his heart. Negative emotions have not been understood and enlightened for a long time, which deepens Adam's inferiority complex.
Judging from Adam's study experience, the school-age moved from other cities and could not adapt to the new environment, especially the language barrier caused a lot of trouble to Adam, but these troubles were not properly helped and cared for by the school and teachers, which made Adam have more difficulties in the process of learning and communicating. The ridicule of his classmates made Adan dare not try, and he developed a negative habit of being timid and indecisive. After entering high school, there was a conflict with his classmates in the process of class management, and the class teacher did not find and deal with it properly in time, resulting in pathological memories, which caused Adan to fall into the negative evaluation of his classmates and was in great pain.
In my communication, I found that Adan had fallen into a deep negative self-evaluation, lacked a correct understanding of himself, believed that he was inferior to others in all aspects, had no hope of hard work, and did not know how to deal with his own problems. Timid, timid, indecisive, and even retreating when encountering a little difficulty. In the course of academic life, I give negative hints to myself, thinking that I am not good, that I am bad, etc. At the same time, Adan is a person who cares more about others, cares very much about the evaluation of others, and sometimes thinks that others are laughing at him without figuring out the ins and outs of things. There is a lack of self-affirmation in Adam's sense of self, and she does not see her strengths, but tends to magnify her weaknesses.
"Adan, I understand your current mood very well, now you feel that your life and studies are very hard" Adan listened to my feedback, slowly relaxed, spoke slower, and gradually became clearer.
Adan has fallen into a swamp of inferiority complex, always feeling self-conscious in front of her classmates and repeatedly choosing to escape, which shows that she has magnified the level of her inner pain too much and does not see the value of her existence in the new environment. Therefore, I used the scene reconstruction intervention to urge her to release her inner pain, and try to show empathy and understanding for it. I made Adam understand that it wasn't just her who was experiencing such a problem, but that many of her peers had experienced similar situations to a greater or lesser extent, and made Adam realize that there are many people in society who also feel inferior and depressed like her. Through the scene reconstruction intervention, she unconsciously rebuilt her self-confidence.
During the intervention, I found that Adan always habitually gave himself a lot of negative hints, focusing too much on his own shortcomings and ignoring his own strengths. Affected by his long-term distorted thoughts, Adan appears more pessimistic and often chooses to withdraw and avoid problems, which is not conducive to the building of Adan's self-confidence.
I affirmed Adam's desire to ask for help on her own, and I recognized her willingness to intervene. Through the scene reconstruction intervention, Adan seems at a loss at first, as if she doesn't know what other good things she can have. But under the slow guidance, Adan began to have a new understanding of himself. It is not possible to change Adam's thinking habits and behavior habits overnight, and Adam's ability to realize more and more of his own strengths shows that Adam has begun to have a new view of himself.
Communication is an important part of family education, and good communication is the key element to enhance the relationship between parents and children. In the process of intervention with Adam, I found that Adam's parents had a lack of communication with Adam due to negligence at work; In addition, the younger brother has received more attention from his parents since he was a child, which caused Adan to have a misconception in his heart, thinking that his parents only love his younger brother. I gave home guidance to Adam's parents, who said they would care for her and help her overcome her low self-esteem and regain her self-confidence.
I found Adam's pathological memory in a subconscious state, because in the first semester of high school, when I was managing class discipline as a disciplinary committee member in the original class, I had a misunderstanding with several classmates, and was slandered by my classmates' malicious words, and I was aggrieved in my heart, and the original head teacher did not understand the cause of the incident and failed to stop the friction between classmates in time, she felt very aggrieved and disappointed in herself. I reconstructed Adam's pathological memories, and her low self-esteem decreased a lot.
After more than two months of memory restructuring intervention, Adan successfully returned to school, gained a new understanding of himself, and gradually got his studies on the right track. Adan has more communication with her parents, and she has become more cheerful. In the class, Adan was able to feel the friendship between his classmates more deeply, and his relationship with everyone became more harmonious. I know she's put her past worries behind and ready for the challenges of life ahead.