Transferred from: Xiao Yinfan's architectural notes
/ Mu Yu /
Personal Profile
Bachelor's degree from Hebei Agricultural University
M.S., Tianjin University
Architectural designer of the central enterprise design institute
Founder of Shangan Design
ONE Play Design Partner
Wang Xiaobo once wrote in the book "A Maverick Pig" that everything I said is nothing more than reminding the people who arrived at this intersection that you do not have only one road, but that it extends in all directions, and you can make a choice. There are many crossroads in life that we need to choose, and every choice will have an impact on our future. However, before making a decision, we need to be clear about the fact that there is more than one path in life. When you're at a crossroads, stop and think and ask yourself, "What do I really want?" Then, trust yourself to make the right choice and be brave enough to take that path.
My story may seem long, full of twists and turns, and even a little dramatic, but it is a true and vivid portrayal of my life at this moment. Every step of the way, every turn, constitutes the trajectory of my unique life.
First time pick
Studying abroad or accompanying parents
"If you had known in advance about the life you were going to face, I wonder if you would have had the courage to come?"
I'm from Huanghua City, a small county town on the coast of Hebei Province, which is quiet and well-developed. Like many young people with dreams, I grew up wanting to get out of the land and explore the wider world.
When I was in junior high school, I had relatively good grades. Before the high school entrance examination, Hengshui Middle School came to Huanghua for early enrollment, and I was fortunate to be selected, and I was able to step into the high school hall that many people dream of without taking the high school entrance examination. However, I was a bit rebellious at a young age and worried that I would not be able to withstand the rigors of high school, so I transferred to Shijiazhuang No. 2 Middle School to continue my studies.
In the depths of my memory, the first fifteen years of my life are like bright sunshine, sprinkled with the path of my growth. At that time, I was full of hope that I would be able to enter the palace of top universities smoothly in the future and start an enviable journey in life. However, life is always full of unknowns, and fate likes to play tricks on us.
During the summer vacation of my sophomore year of high school, at the critical moment of entering my junior year of high school, my mother was hospitalized with acute liver failure. My family and I quickly transferred her to a major hospital in Beijing, but the illness ruthlessly took away her precious time. At four o'clock in the morning, in that silent and cold moment, my mother closed her eyes forever and left me. At that moment, I hugged my mother's gradually cooling body, and tears blurred my eyes. I couldn't believe it was all real. My mother, the one who grew up with me and gave me endless warmth, left me forever. At that moment, it was as if I had fallen into an endless abyss, and my heart was filled with unspeakable grief and self-blame.
I often think that if I hadn't chosen to leave my hometown, if I had spent more time with her and cared more about her physical and mental health, maybe she wouldn't have suffered from depression, and maybe she would have been able to accompany me through more journeys in life. However, there are no ifs in life, and I can only miss the bits and pieces of my mother's life in endless thoughts and self-blame. In the dead of night, I always think of that four o'clock in the morning, the moment my mother left. That pain and sorrow seemed to be engraved on my heart, and it can never be erased.
The price of this choice was too heavy for me to bear. In my junior year of high school, I had a mental breakdown, my academic grades plummeted, and I was living the kind of life described in the literature of youthful pain. Eventually, by mistake, I was admitted to Hebei Agricultural University, majoring in urban and rural planning.
Second choice
Continue to sink or redeem yourself
"If you were given another chance, how would you choose your life?"
When I first stepped into college, I was still deeply grieved by the past, feeling that my life was bleak, and giving up on myself seemed to be the only way out, skipping classes, hanging out in nightclubs, and playing games all night...... I try to fill the emptiness in my heart with these meaningless activities.
However, in the second half of my freshman year, a book called "Norwegian Wood" appeared, which was like a ray of light illuminating my way forward. One of the words in the book, "Death is not the opposite of life, but eternal as a part of life", deeply touched me and made me realize that although my mother is gone, her life and spirit are still in me, and I should shoulder the responsibility of life and move on. Since then, I have embarked on a journey of self-redemption. I dabbled in Feng Shui, went to monasteries to seek peace of mind, and actively joined party organizations to explore and construct my own unique worldview and outlook on life.
In the summer of my freshman year, I signed up for a hand-drawing class and made friends from all over the world, who were deeply shocked by their talents and efforts, and also made me realize my shortcomings in the professional field. I realized that I needed to think beyond the boundaries of my own university, look at the architecture schools across the country, and move forward side by side with better people. When I returned to school, I continued to read books about architecture every day and practice a hand-drawing every night.
In the second half of my sophomore year, by chance, my roommate and I participated in a hiking activity in Tianjin organized by an organization. This trip gave me the opportunity to appreciate the charm of Tianjin University, and also laid the groundwork for me to enter Tianda in the future. During my visit to the School of Architecture, I was attracted by the strong academic atmosphere and excellent faculty there, and it became my firm goal to enter Tianda for graduate school.
After entering my junior year, it was as if a new chapter in my life had begun. I met Ms. Wang Ning, who has a wealth of teaching experience, who not only gave me academic guidance, but also pointed me out the direction on the road of life. Mr. Wang once said with a smile: "Mu Yu, you can consider undergraduate study planning, graduate study architecture, doctoral study and then gardening, so that you can get through in the field of design." Although this sentence was a joke, it became a source of motivation for my strong faith. With the encouragement and guidance of Mr. Wang, I worked harder to learn professional knowledge and fully prepare for the postgraduate entrance examination.
When my life wandered at the crossroads, feeling deeply lost and trapped, that mysterious and kind person shone into my life like a bright light - the proprietress of Dream Design, and we all affectionately called her the head sister. With the enthusiastic recommendation of my senior, I was fortunate to meet her, and even more fortunately, I became an agent of Zhumeng on campus. At that time, I was financially constrained, and my studies and dreams seemed to be out of reach, like a lonely boat floating in the vast sea. However, the appearance of the head sister, like a lighthouse on the sea, pointed me in the direction. She not only generously helped me through the difficult time, but also waived my tuition fees, and the heavy support and encouragement made me feel unprecedented warmth. Under her careful guidance, I gradually learned to be independent and learn to take responsibility. I started to earn my own living expenses and even tuition fees, and those dreams that once seemed unattainable are now being realized. I have become braver, stronger, and able to face life's challenges calmly and independently. Sister Toutou, she is the noble person in my life and my eternal role model. She taught me that as long as we have dreams and courage, nothing can stop us from moving forward. I will always remember her kindness, and I will pass on her teachings to more people.
Although my undergraduate alma mater was not a prestigious university and I had not passed the professional assessment, I always had a strong belief in my own abilities and potential. I know very well that the stage of life is not only determined by academic qualifications and background, but also depends more on personal efforts and perseverance. On the way to prepare for the graduate school examination, I encountered unprecedented difficulties and challenges. Those days and nights of hard study, those countless times of self-doubt and struggle, are like mountains, blocking my way forward. Even my counselor had a long weekly conversation with me, urging me to give up the seemingly unattainable goal of Tianjin University and choose a more secure path. However, I was not knocked down by these difficulties. I know that only through tempering can I achieve my true self. So, I set clear and firm goals for myself and developed a scientific and thorough revision plan. I overcame laziness and procrastination, and threw myself into this silent battle with a high level of execution and self-discipline.
During my preparation days, I received encouragement and support from my sister and many relatives and friends. Their care and trust have become my most solid backing. With them by my side, I am more determined to move towards my goal. Finally, with unremitting efforts and persistence, I received an admission letter from Tianjin University. At that moment, all the effort and sweat turned into the joy of victory. This success is not only an affirmation of my efforts, but also an important baptism and sublimation of my life.
Six years have passed, and I have become a master's degree graduate who felt unattainable at the time, and the protagonist of youth has changed countless times. But I will always miss and love the summer of 2018, and while everything I had at that time proved to be short-lived today, at least that summer will always be in my heart. That summer, we listened to "Paper Short Love" and our friends rode around the streets, and when "The Wind Rises", we ran against the wind and felt the power of the wind. Waiting for "Answer", thinking about "Lesion" at any time, "9277" to friends, drinking "Cappuccino", dancing "Seaweed Dance......
Third choice
Leave the country or stay in Tianjin
"Every good person has a moment of silence. That period of time was a time when I put in a lot of effort, endured a lot of loneliness and loneliness, didn't complain or complain, only I knew, and when I talked about it later, even I could be moved. ”
Graduate school was a new chapter in my life, and from the moment I stepped through the gates, I set myself a clear goal – to become a centrally selected student. Given that Tianjin University has the qualifications to be selected and transferred by the central ministries and commissions, and its architecture major is highly compatible with the Ministry of Housing and Urban-Rural Development, I firmly believe that this is the best way to achieve the ideal. As a result, during my graduate studies, I wore many hats and gained a wealth of practical experience.
As the person in charge of the mentor studio, I was deeply involved in the design and management of high-speed rail station projects, such as Putian Station and Lingang Station, which not only exercised my engineering practice ability, but also cultivated my excellent project management thinking.
At the same time, in the college, I served as the class president, the president of the graduate student union, and the peer mentor of undergraduates, and the experience of these positions has won me the nomination of the top ten young people of the college, the honor of outstanding student cadres and outstanding graduates of the school.
Outside of academics, I was fortunate to be selected by Jifan Design Education to be the head of the Tianjin campus. During this period, I tutored many students to be successfully admitted to Tianjin University, especially the students of my undergraduate alma mater, Hebei Agricultural University, and realized their dreams. I am very proud that with my efforts, the number of alumni of Hebei Agricultural University in Tianda has reached 13, and in the past three years, I have helped 8 students realize their dreams.
Since my second year of graduate studies, I have had the privilege of having a fulfilling and valuable internship experience at China Overseas Property. In Tianjin, I have participated in a series of high-profile projects such as Diamond Bay, Tianjin Gate Courtyard, and Left Bank Lanting, which not only broadened my horizons, but also enabled me to deeply understand the essence of architectural design. During this internship, I learned to look at each architectural project from the perspective of the client, and I better understand that architectural design is not only about artistic beauty, but more importantly, about ensuring the feasibility and practicality of the design. I have come to understand the importance of controlling the details of architectural design, which requires us to not only focus on creativity in the design process, but also consider the feasibility of the construction process and the suitability of materials. At the same time, I also deeply understand the important impact of market demand on architectural design. By constantly analyzing market trends and understanding the needs of my target customers, I learned how to integrate market needs with design, so as to guide the design team to create works that are more in line with market expectations. This internship experience not only allowed me to gain valuable knowledge and experience, but also gave me a lot of points during the autumn recruitment.
However, at the critical moment when I was about to turn a new chapter in my life, an abrupt phone call destroyed all my expectations in an instant. The mid-term report of my graduation project was supposed to be a stage for me to show my hard work for two years, but at the moment when I was about to report, the unfamiliar number that popped up on the screen of my mobile phone became a turning point in my fate. The strange man on the other end of the phone calmly recounted how he and my girlfriend, who had been engaged for six years, had woven an unknown emotional entanglement between him and me over the past year. This sudden news was like a thunderbolt from the sky, shattering all my expectations and longings in an instant. I tried my best to stabilize my emotions and insisted on completing the mid-term report of my graduation project, but my heart felt like it had been hollowed out, and my brain was in chaos.
After the debriefing, I couldn't wait to question her, but her answer pierced me like a cold dagger. She told me that love is vulnerable in the face of reality after all, that person is a few years older than me, already has a stable career and a comfortable life, and I am just a student who has not yet stepped out of campus. Coupled with the busyness of my architectural profession, I neglected to accompany her, which became the last excuse for her departure. I had tried to accept this fact in a peaceful way, however, a month later, the man's reconnection pushed me to the brink of anger. He told me that they broke up and wanted to learn from me how to get out of the shadow of a broken love. This is undoubtedly a violation of my dignity, and I can no longer bear such humiliation. A heated argument was inevitable and eventually alarmed the parents on both sides. At that moment, all the emotions between us turned into hatred and anger, and we decided to die and never get along, burying this once beautiful relationship completely in the dust of time.
It was like a thick cloud over me, and the whole world lost its color and became gray. Every day is like walking a tightrope, and the slightest mistake can lead to falling into an endless abyss. Luckily, however, I'm not alone. I have a group of dear friends who are like beacons in my life, illuminating my path and giving me courage and strength in my darkest moments. Their company made me feel warm, and their encouragement allowed me to rediscover myself. They listened patiently to me and spent the night after night with me. With them, I gradually learned to face reality and accept my vulnerability.
It was during this low period that I stumbled upon "Passing by Your World". So, I decided to go to Daocheng Aden to relax. The beautiful scenery made me forget my troubles for a while and made me regain my inner peace. I stood under the majestic snow-capped mountains, looking out at the vast grassland, as if all my sorrows were swallowed up by this magnificent scenery. At that moment, I felt my soul purified, as if I had been reborn.
However, after that, I had an impulsive thought - to escape this sad place and go to the southern city to seek a new life. This decision made my previous efforts for the central selection and transfer of students to be in vain, and I regret it in retrospect.
After spending more than half a year in Shanghai and Hangzhou, I finally realized that the shadow of the past should not be an excuse for me to escape from reality. I am determined to say goodbye to the past and embark on a new journey. I re-examined the future and realized that there were infinite opportunities to stay in Tianjin. Tianjin University has provided me with unique local resources and networks, and the warmth of my hometown is also close at hand. What is even more gratifying is that at this critical moment, I met my wife, and my best friends also gathered in the hot land of Beijing-Tianjin-Hebei. This is in line with the affectionate expectation of "the best friend is on the other side, and the person you love the most is by your side". Although this choice has left me with some job opportunities, I know that every choice is an investment in the future. Eventually, I firmly joined a private enterprise design institute in Tianjin and devoted myself to my career with a new attitude. Here, I will write a new chapter and pursue a more wonderful life.
Deeply cultivate what you love
Perfection
"Love what you love, do what you do, listen to your heart, and ask no questions."
In the short year since I graduated, I have experienced two moments of facing life and death, and each time I deeply feel the fragility and preciousness of life.
During that time, I frequently worked overtime and stayed up late for work, and my body gradually became overwhelmed. Until one day, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my chest and shortness of breath, as if I was being grabbed by an invisible hand in my heart. After being rushed to the hospital, the doctor told me that I needed to take 10 fast-acting pills immediately to stabilize my condition. At that moment, I really felt the fragility of life, and it seemed that it could leave me at any moment.
Lying on the hospital bed, I recalled the past, and my heart was filled with endless emotion. Those days when you sacrifice sleep for work, those moments when you neglect your health for the sake of achievement, are now so insignificant. I began to reflect deeply, what is the true meaning of life? Is it to constantly pursue fame and fortune and material things, or to cherish every moment and care for your body and mind? This test of life and death has given me a deeper understanding of life.
I realized that life is so short and precious, and we shouldn't neglect our health and happiness for the sake of external achievements. Life is not only a journey, but also a spiritual practice. It allows us to learn to cherish and be grateful, and to learn to face adversity and challenges. In the face of life and death, all fame, fortune and material things become insignificant, and only inner peace and satisfaction are our true pursuits. After my recovery, I decided to adjust my lifestyle and focus on work-life balance. I started to pay attention to my health and arrange my work and rest time reasonably. At the same time, I also cherish the time I spend with my family and friends, listening to and accompanying them with my heart. Because I know that these are the most precious treasures in life.
Another time was shortly after my grandmother's death, my father suddenly suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and was rushed to the intensive care unit. These experiences made me feel the fragility of my life, so I decided to quit my job at Tianhua and go home to take care of my father wholeheartedly.
After this difficult time, I started thinking about my future career path and finally decided to change careers. I co-founded a gym with a few friends, and although life has become much easier and I have more free time to travel, I feel more empty inside than I have ever been. I realized that it might be because I left what I was really passionate about.
Time flies, and a year later, with infinite love for the construction industry, I returned to the design institute and was fortunate to join a well-known central enterprise design institute. Although there are many doubts about the industry, and even negative voices, in my heart, these voices cannot shake my firm belief in architecture. I know that every industry has its own laws of development, with highs and lows, but it is these ups and downs that constitute the unique charm of the industry. In the face of doubts and challenges, I choose to stick to my inner love, believe in the power of architecture, and firmly believe that only through continuous learning, hard work and exploration can I find the key to breaking through the predicament.
I chose to continue to work in the field of architecture and prove my worth with practical actions. I aspire to challenge myself, surpass my limits, and strive to reach the farthest I can in this vast world. I firmly believe that only by constantly pursuing higher goals can we continue to surpass ourselves and realize the value of life. In the dead of night, I would recall my original intention of returning to the design institute, and my love and dedication to architecture remained the same. I will pass on this passion to every project, every design, and let every detail exude my love and respect for architecture. I know there's still a long way to go, but I'm ready to take on the challenge and pursue my dreams. Because I firmly believe that as long as I love and persevere, I can get out of the trough and move towards a more brilliant future.
In April of this year, I stood at a crossroads in my life and made a decision that was significant to me – I resigned from my position as the head of the Tianjin campus. At that moment, my heart was full of reluctance, but more of an expectation and longing for the future. Together with a group of like-minded lecturers, I co-founded a new name - "Shangan Design". "Shangan Design" is more than just a name, it carries our passion and dedication to architectural education. We focus on providing architectural postgraduate counseling for students from Tianjin University, Hebei University of Technology and Tianjin Chengjian University, and hope to use our professional knowledge and experience to guide them and help them move to higher academic halls.
At the same time, we also worked with a few friends to create a new platform called "ONE Play Design". It is a creative and dynamic space, and we hope that through this platform, more people can understand and love architecture, and encourage them to turn their ideas into practice. We hope that through our sincerity and efforts, we can provide a platform for students who love architecture to realize their dreams. I feel extremely relieved and proud to see the students listening attentively in the class of "Shangan Design", and every time I hear them share their creativity and ideas on the platform of "ONE Play Design". I know that we are doing something meaningful, and we are contributing to the cause of architectural education. There is still a long way to go, but I believe that as long as we maintain our love and dedication to architecture, as long as we continue to work hard and innovate, we will be able to help more students realize their dreams. This is our mission and our responsibility.
When I look back at the days of graduate school counseling, my heart is not only full of memories, but also a deep emotion. I deeply realized that it is precisely because I have experienced the hardships of the graduate school entrance examination and the countless rains that I have better understood the meaning of holding an umbrella for those who come after me. At that time, it was as if I had returned to that cold winter vacation, fighting side by side with six students with dreams. During the winter vacation of 2018, there were only six students in our team, and although the number of students was small, every dream was as heavy as Mount Tai. We are committed to each student and to their dreams as our own. In order to make them more stable and further on the road to graduate school, I even moved my bed to the classroom and spent every day and night with them. In those days, I witnessed their efforts and perseverance, and I also felt their anxiety and anxiety. I always encourage them, share my experience with them, and help them solve their problems. Whenever I see them staying up late into the night because of changing their pictures, I will silently accompany them and cheer them on.
Finally, with unremitting efforts and perseverance, these six students stepped into the halls of Tianda, South China, Dagong and other universities. Their success is not only a reward for their own efforts, but also a recognition of the hard work of our team. Seeing the smiles on their faces and the sparkle in their eyes, I felt that my efforts were worth it. Looking back, I know that the rain I have been drenched in has made me more aware of the meaning of holding an umbrella for those who come after me. The success of these six students has laid a solid foundation for our teaching journey and strengthened our belief in moving forward.
In these long years, we have been like a lonely boat, in the turbulent ocean of graduate school entrance counseling, we have always adhered to the beacon of small class teaching. No matter how turbulent the market is, we have always maintained our original intention, which is to strictly control the size of enrollment and ensure that the number of students in each class is maintained at about 30 students. Because we understand that the expansion of the number will only distract us and make that care for each student diluted. Admittedly, this method of teaching often makes me feel tired, as if I am carrying a thousand pounds of burden. Especially in this era of chaos in the postgraduate counseling market, those institutions with fraudulent grades and rampant propaganda are becoming more and more popular, but we are unknown. I have questioned myself countless times, is this persistence still meaningful?
However, whenever I wander in the dark, there is always a light that illuminates my path. That's my friend Wang Yang, my comrades-in-arms - Zeng Qingjian, Liang Jinmo, Hu Runheng and Deng Zhenhuan. Their support and encouragement, like the warm sun in winter, make me firmly believe that I can do my best to help everyone with dreams, so that they can avoid detours on the road of knowledge. Today, I am very grateful. Because of our efforts, we have borne abundant fruits. Those students who have studied with us have been successfully admitted to Tianjin University and other well-known universities.
Every time I receive a thank you letter from them, my heart is filled with satisfaction and gratification. This return is undoubtedly the best affirmation of our work, and it is also the greatest motivation for us to stick to our original intention and forge ahead.
A while ago, a passage from Zhenhuan made me think deeply: What is the strength in my heart? Is it the guilt of the mother? Is it the salvation of oneself? Or is it a soothing of one's past self?
"But the sun, he is the setting sun and the rising sun all the time. When he walked down the mountain to collect the desolate afterglow, it was when he burned on the other side and climbed up to the top of the mountain to spread the blazing sunrise. On that day, I will also walk quietly down the hill, holding on to my crutches. One day, in a certain mountain depression, a cheerful child will inevitably run up, holding his toy. ”
This passage touched me deeply and made me realize that there are frustrations and hopes in life. One day, I will grow old too, but somewhere in a corner, there will definitely be a new life that will emerge with hopes and dreams. We are all pedestrians in the rain and umbrellas for others. But do good deeds, don't ask about the future!