Some time ago, I saw this passage on the Internet:
"Your relationship with anyone does not depend on how good you are to others, but on your strength and how many chips you have."
People are generally more tolerant of the strong, and even if the weak have done nothing wrong, they will be treated harshly.
In reality, many people are busy socializing and want to meet more people and make more contacts.
But in the end, you will find that if you have no value, even if you squeeze your head, you will not be able to enter the higher circle.
In this world, it is always your strength that determines your social relationships.
A person with weak strength does not deserve a circle at all, because you are nothing in the eyes of others;
People with real strength don't need to put much thought into socializing, because connections will automatically come up.
The cruelest reality of this society is that the strong have no social networking, and the weak have no circle.
The strong have no socialization
Writer Jiang Rong was once voted "China's most unsociable writer".
In 2004, he published his novel "Wolf Totem", which sold more than 6.5 million copies in just a few years.
After becoming famous, Jiang Rong did not participate in various seminars and exchange meetings like other writers, but chose to fade out of people's field of vision.
Every year, many media and reporters come to him and want to interview him and invite him to attend events.
But he has no interest in these social interactions, and always refuses them all.
He has always been outside the mainstream and has devoted himself to writing behind closed doors, which has also allowed him to create more valuable works.
This reminds me of a passage that media person Jin Ke said:
"I've been told before that you need to build connections, you need to make connections.
Later I found out that as long as you're strong enough, these aren't necessities. ”
A truly strong person doesn't need to socialize or maintain relationships.
For them, the only thing that matters is the ability to concentrate all their energy on improving themselves.
Peng Lei, the lead singer of the New Pants Band, has always been a maverick.
Everyone else wants to get to know the big guy and accumulate contacts for himself, but he is extremely indifferent in terms of interpersonal communication.
He had a principle that every time he added a person to his address book, he had to remove a person.
In a program, Li Dan forcibly added his WeChat, and he looked embarrassed:
"Xu Zheng has been blocked by me, let's delete Ning Hao or Lu Chuan next."
He prefers to be alone in tinkering with musical instruments, writing lyrics, and practicing songs rather than socializing.
Alone, he immersed himself in his own music world and polished one golden song after another.
This also made him the object of invitation from major programs.
Writer Ko Shiqi said:
"Powerful people tend to have little social life."
In their view, people are polite to each other and climb each other, but it is just a waste of time.
Rather than being consumed in various relationships, they would rather choose to cultivate alone.
The real strong person is not without social skills, but knows how to focus more on himself.
When you start to understand this, you will be able to keep improving and live your best life.
The weak have no circle
There is a sentence in "Minimalist Power":
"When you're not at the next level, all connections are worthless."
If you're not good enough, those so-called connections and circles are all a joke.
Li Xueqin once shared an experience in an interview.
While studying in New York, she attended a Peking University alumni reunion in New York.
The people who come to the alumni association are all well-known figures in New York, either with extremely high social status or rich net worth.
In order to participate in this party, Li Xueqin deliberately put on delicate makeup and wore high heels.
But when she went, she found that no one paid attention to her at all.
Even if she took the initiative to introduce herself to others, the other party just smiled and didn't want to know her.
Some people also asked for the WeChat of many people at the scene, but they ignored her.
This made Li Xueqin couldn't help but sigh:
"If you don't have the strength, you can only be a little transparent anywhere."
Li Xueqin's experience is actually a true portrayal of many people in real life.
They are busy with all kinds of gatherings and mingling in all kinds of circles, the purpose is to build relationships and find opportunities.
But if you don't have the strength, even if you sharpen your head, it's useless to blend into the circle of no matter how good you are.
Business journalist Xu Feng told a story.
Two years ago, the China Internet Conference was held in Beijing, and many of the world's top 500 vice president-level executives came to participate.
At that time, the manager of a small business approached Xu Feng and asked him to take him to the closing dinner.
Because of the situation, Xu Feng took him there.
The manager wanted to use this opportunity to get to know some of the biggest names in the industry.
Unexpectedly, after he went, he distributed business cards everywhere, but everyone chose to ignore him.
Later, every time he talked about this matter, Xu Feng sighed:
"A person's level and level are not enough, even if they get mixed into the high-end circle, they will not be accepted."
Zhou Guoping said:
"The dominance of the social arena is definitely not friendship, but interests or strength."
Your value determines your position in the social arena.
Without the blessing of strength, those accidental network resources are nothing more than false bubbles.
When you are too weak, no matter how many circles you enter and how many bigwigs you meet, you can only become an outsider in the end.
When you are strong, the relationship will naturally come
Psychologist Dan Arieli says:
"The so-called relationship is nothing more than an exact matching game, and the most important thing is to match the door."
Only when a person is outstanding enough can he have the confidence to match and attract other outstanding people.
When screenwriter Lu JJ first entered the writing circle in his early years, he printed a box of business cards for himself.
He runs around various reading forums and book fairs all day long, trying to meet some peers and find some resources for himself.
As a result, the reality kept him cold.
Some people ignored him, some people coldly rejected him, and some people took the business card and looked at it, and threw it away.
The days of encountering walls everywhere made Lu JJ completely wake up:
"If you're not strong, no one will look at you."
After that, he stopped fooling around, but focused on writing scripts, and eventually won several screenwriting awards.
After becoming famous, many peers and seniors in the industry have taken the initiative to come to the door.
The general rule of this society is: when you are weak, there are the most passers-by; When you're strong, you have the most friends.
When you're good enough, it's natural to have a network.
The host, Le Jia, started with training.
Once, a friend introduced him to a boss who wanted to contract the training business of the other company.
After the boss saw Le Jia's secondary school education, he mocked:
"You haven't even studied in college, so what qualifications do you have to lecture?"
This sentence hit Le Jia deeply, and it also made him realize that if he was not strong enough, he would always be looked down upon.
After that, he began to study hard, insisting on reading and writing every day.
Through such uninterrupted efforts, he was later selected by the "If You Are Honest, Do Not Disturb" column group and quickly became popular.
After the explosion, there was an endless stream of people who came to him to seek cooperation.
Writer Lian Yue said:
"Don't worry about not having connections, worry about not growing."
Weak people stand aside everywhere, and strong people can see the good faces of others.
Instead of going around camping and desperately squeezing in circles, it is better to work hard to improve yourself.
Connections are a by-product of strength, and you can only have truly reliable social relationships if you are strong enough to do so.
▽
The American sociologist Homans said in the book:
"Any human relationship is essentially an exchange relationship."
Social relationships themselves are tailor-made, and you can enter as many circles as you have and how much value you can provide.
Social relationships are like a scale, one end is your own strength, and the other end is the resources you can leverage.
Stop spending time on ineffective socializing, in a society with high and low strength, improving yourself is the king.
Connections are like a net, and only by cultivating yourself to become strong can this net be woven wider and stronger.