Change may be difficult, but if you're willing to get started, you're on a journey to get better.
When I reach the age of 30, I really want to give my past self a piece of advice: please quit the "student mentality" as soon as possible.
Because after entering the society, the thinking mode of students is likely to be the shackles that hinder our progress.
These wrong ways of thinking will bring us misunderstandings in our thinking, like vines buried deep in our hearts, which will bind us firmly in place, unable to achieve true freedom and happiness.
How to get rid of the misunderstanding of students' thinking has become a very important part of our growth process.
Myth 1: Hard work will definitely lead to good results
When I was a student, there were always a lot of uplifting slogans: "The harder you work, the luckier you get", "I am confident, I am excellent, I work hard and I succeed".
These slogans all convey the same message that if we work hard, we will be able to live the life we want.
It uses a simple dichotomy to divide people into "losers" and "winners" according to their life achievements, and the winners naturally have the right to dominate and judge the losers.
In this mode, many people will worship and want to be a winner, and they will continue to exploit themselves and force themselves to "roll" in order to become a winner.
But as we get older, we will find that simply and rudely equating hard work with success will only increase our psychological stress and prevent us from reaping true happiness.
As everyone knows, when we go all out to do something, we will feel a kind of joy and affirmation of ourselves from the bottom of our hearts, which is the greatest harvest of hard work.
Myth 2: Prepare well to meet the challenge When we were students, we all had the ultimate boss - the college entrance examination. What we learn from childhood to adulthood is to prepare for it.
Under this subtle influence, it is easy for us to make a mistake - only when we are well prepared can we meet the challenge.
Many people also subconsciously bring this way of thinking to their lives and work, always forcing themselves to be 100% ready before starting to do something, resulting in a lot of missed opportunities.
The college entrance examination is fixed, but many things and choices in life are not.
Life is not a problem, even if you make a mistake temporarily, it is nothing, the beauty of life lies in whether you succeed or fail, you can experience and feel it on the road.
Instead of repeatedly preparing and delaying the start in the midst of "possible failure", it is better to continue to explore your potential strength in the process of trial and error.
Myth 3: Don't allow yourself to enjoy yourself until your grades improve
I don't know when it began, parents began to habitually reject their children's needs first, or do not respond to their children's requests, thinking that it is a good way to exercise children's endurance.
The children raised under this viewpoint slowly begin to demand themselves in this way:
If you feel that your grades are not good, you can't rest;
I can't enjoy myself until my grades improve;
After taking a little rest, you will feel ashamed and feel unworthy......
In adulthood, they will also impose all kinds of harsh conditions of "self-discipline" on themselves, and regard improving their grades and success as the ultimate goal of shame.
Persisting in this way for a period of time will indeed be rewarding, but if you keep it in this state, you will only overdraw your mental energy, and in severe cases, you may even suffer from mental illness.
Whether it's rest or pleasure, it's actually not shameful, it's a very normal psychological and physical need.
We have to learn to pace in order to run further. Instead of pushing yourself against your nature and always staying in a tight state of sprinting, you can set yourself different milestones and enjoy every small victory.
Final words
Life is a process of continuous establishment and reinvention, and everyone's life is unique and never needs too many references.
When you realize that something is wrong with some of the rules you take for granted, you should be brave enough to break them.
Change may be difficult, but if you're willing to get started, you're on a journey to get better. The world will help you if you want to.
Cover of this issue:
This article is reprinted from the WeChat public account of "Southern Metropolis Daily", source: One Psychology (ID: yixinligongkaike), author: Paper Drunk Grapes