Before I retired, I always looked forward to retirement, but when it came to retirement, I realized that it was not an easy thing to do. I have nothing to do all day, but my heart is full of worries about the affairs of the unit, worrying that new colleagues will mess things up, and worrying that the project will not be carried out on time. This state of boredom and anxiety bothered me unusually much.
Struggling retirement
When I stay at home, I don't sit or stand, and my mind is full of trivial things about the unit. I was so anxious that I often lost my temper in front of my wife and son, causing them to ignore me. In order to kill time, I always talked to my wife, but she finally couldn't take it anymore and half-jokingly suggested that I go out on a trip or go fishing, so as not to disturb her life again. My wife's suggestion left me helpless, so I had to find some fun, hang out with friends or go into the park alone. However, somehow, every time I go out, I can't get rid of the thoughts of the affairs of the unit and recall the happy times when I worked with my colleagues.
Think about the desire to return to work
In the process of looking for fun, I decided to contact old friends from the unit and have a meal with them. Although some of my friends attended, I found that they didn't know anything about the company, and I couldn't let go. When I was on the phone with the old leader, I expressed my desire to return to work to him, but I was excused and told me to wait slowly and not worry.
Waiting and disappointment
The long wait made me feel anxious, and I called the person at the unit, but I only got a perfunctory answer. In the end, the old leader rejected my request to return to work on the grounds of personal matters, and I couldn't help but feel completely disappointed. I began to understand that the unit didn't need me, and that I was becoming redundant at home. Life after retirement has become lonely, which has made me deeply understand the state of mind of other retired masters.
Understanding and disappointment with leadership
Although I understood the leader's helplessness, my attitude towards him was hot and cold, which troubled me. Although I wanted to go to the dinner party of the unit, I always felt that the leader was unclear about my attitude. Sometimes cold, sometimes enthusiastic, I choose to believe that the leader's busy work is the result of his busy schedule, not that he is dissatisfied with me.
The anticipation and shattering of the dinner
Finally ushered in the dinner party of the unit, I was well prepared for this, but I suffered a great blow while waiting for the notice of the leader. The leader deliberately sent me the wrong address, causing me to arrive near the end of the dinner. All this made me feel angry and feel indifferent to myself.
Anger Erupts: Table-Flipping Incident
When I arrived at the dinner place, I found that the address provided to me by the leader was wrong. I couldn't stand it, and my anger exploded. At the dinner table, I didn't hesitate to flip everything on the table, causing chaos. The leader was furious and asked me why I had behaved the way, and I sneered that I couldn't take it anymore.
Facing Reality: Late-Night Reflections
Leaving the place where I had dinner, my heart was filled with anger and disappointment. Looking back on my entire retirement experience, I realized that my situation might be the product of my subjective expectations not matching reality. Perhaps, I should re-examine my life and find new fun and direction.
Resentment against the leadership
Throughout the incident, my resentment against the leadership was inevitable. He sent me fake addresses and led me astray and ended up missing out on prime time for dinner. This indifference to me chilled my heart and made me feel guilty about the trust I had in my leadership.
Self-reflection and new beginnings
Perhaps, I need to reflect deeply on my own actions and expectations. Retirement is not the end, it's a new beginning. At this stage, I should be looking for new pleasures and directions in life, rather than wallowing in resentment against the past. Perhaps, at a new starting point, I will find a more colorful life.
The possibility of reconciliation
Despite such an unpleasant experience, I was willing to consider the possibility of reconciliation with my leadership. Perhaps, his indifference and mistakes were just a momentary moment, not a true attitude towards me. In the future, there may be a chance to make up for this misunderstanding and rebuild trust in each other.
A New Beginning: Redefining Life
Life after retirement may not have been what I wanted, but I decided to take a positive approach. Redefining the meaning of life, pursuing what interests me, and finding new friends and activities may be the key to me coming out of the shadows. Life is still long, and I am willing to face the challenges of the future with a positive attitude and find my own happiness.
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