Text: Humility talks about the style of writing
Editor|Humility talks about the style of writing
For thousands of years, the great poet Lu You of the Song Dynasty wrote the lyrics "Hairpin Phoenix" to his ex-wife Tang Wan has been praised by people and is recognized as a classic masterpiece, praising him for his deep and sincere love for Tang Wan, which can be called a good man with deep affection and righteousness.
But is it really as simple and beautiful as the public thinks? For this popular masterpiece, the author has a new interpretation and insight, which is quite unique.
Most of the world's understanding of "Hairpin Phoenix" is based on Lu You's endless attachment to his ex-wife, and what is recited in the words is not only the reminiscence of the beautiful love in the past. However, if we carefully taste the lyrics, it is not difficult to find that the poem actually contains the poet's more complex and contradictory inner world.
Historical traceability
In order to clarify the whole story, we can start with the marriage between Lu You and his ex-wife Tang Wan: in the fourteenth year of Shaoxing (1144) of Song Gaozong, the twenty-year-old Lu You and his cousin Tang Wan became partners. The two have been childhood sweethearts since childhood, and they respect each other like guests after marriage.
However, Tang Wan's talent and affection with her husband Lu You caused Lu's mother to be dissatisfied, so that it finally developed to force Lu You to divorce his wife.
After Lu You's repeated pleas, his mother insisted on her opinion, and in the end, Lu You had no choice but to divorce his wife according to his mother's orders. This is the end of a happy marriage. After that, Lu You married another Wang family, and Tang Wan also remarried Zhao Shicheng, a scholar from the same county.
Ten years later, one spring, Lu You roamed the Shen family garden in Shanyin City alone. Just as he was drinking alone and borrowing wine to drown his sorrows, he suddenly unexpectedly saw Tang Wan and her husband Zhao Shicheng also visiting the garden together.
Thinking that his former beloved wife belonged to someone else, grief came to his heart, he put down the wine glass, and was about to leave, but Tang Wan asked her husband for permission and brought him a glass of water and wine.
Red crisp hands, yellow silk wine, the city is full of spring palace wall willows. The east wind is evil, and the joy is thin. A cup of sorrow, a few years away. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Spring is as old as ever, people are empty and thin, and tears are red and silky. Peach blossoms fall, idle pond pavilion. Although the mountain league is here, it is difficult to trust the brocade book. Mo, Mo, Mo!
After Lu You's inscription, he glanced at Tang Wan affectionately again, and then left in a daze. After Lu You left, Tang Wan read the lyrics several times, but she couldn't control her feelings, so she cried bitterly.
When she returned home, she was sad and complaining, so she also made a song "Hairpin Phoenix", and soon died of depression. Tang Wan's "Hairpin Phoenix" is written like this:
The world is thin, people are evil, and the rain sends dusk flowers to fall. The wind is dry, and the tears are left. If you want to write about your heart, you will be oblique in your monologue. Difficult! Difficult! Difficult!
People are different, today is not yesterday, and the sick soul is often like a swing. The horn is cold, and the night is dark. Afraid of people asking, crying and pretending to be happy. Deceive! Deceive! Deceive!
Lu You is not an infatuated man
So, is the love story of Lu You and Tang Wan worthy of people's talk and praise through the ages? Is Lu You an infatuated man? The author thinks that Lu You is not an infatuated man, and this widely praised love story is not worthy of praise.
Let's talk about how Lu You's marriage broke down first. First of all, Lu You's marriage was broken up by his mother. There are different theories about why Lu You's mother wanted to break up the beautiful marriage between her son and daughter-in-law. Some say that it is because Tang Wan did not have children after marriage, and some say that it is because Lu's mother thinks that her son and daughter-in-law have a strong relationship, which delays her son's enterprising and famous future.
In the author's opinion, none of these reasons are valid. Lu You and Tang Wan have just been married for a year, and it is normal for them not to have children, besides, in ancient times, men could take concubines, even if the lady of the main room could not have children, the children born of the concubine room would be counted in the name of the lady of the main room, and the lady of the main room would personally raise adults.
It would be even more absurd to say that it would delay learning because of the relationship between husband and wife. Good love will only make people love life more, be more aggressive, and be more creative, but not decadent.
Therefore, a scholarly woman like Tang Wan will not instigate her husband to blindly indulge in the pleasures of the boudoir, she will definitely urge her husband to be active in his career, and even accompany her husband to read at night. Family discord will only make people pessimistic and misanthropic and lose their fighting spirit, but will not stimulate people's enterprising spirit.
Even if the son and daughter-in-law are really too immersed in the relationship between husband and wife and delay the future, it is the responsibility of the two of them, and what they should do is to admonish their son Lu You on this matter, instead of putting the blame on the daughter-in-law, and even let her bear the consequences of being abandoned.
Then, the reason why Lu's mother broke up the happy marriage of her son and daughter-in-law with an arrogant attitude is only the reason of "jealousy". She saw that her son and daughter-in-law had deep feelings, deep affection, and jealousy, so she did everything possible to break up a loving couple from jealousy to hatred.
Secondly, let's look at Lu You's performance in this matter. Here, I can not comment more on Lu You's mother finding various excuses to break up the marriage of her son and daughter-in-law, but just want to talk about some of my own views on Lu You's own practices. It can be believed that Lu You is not a fool, why his mother wants to do everything possible to find an excuse to let him divorce his wife, he knows it well.
If he has a minimum principle and moral bottom line, he will not let his beloved wife pay for his mother's mistakes. The ancient Chinese regarded women's chastity as great as the sky. The so-called "marriage event" means that marriage is a big thing, not a child's play. Becoming a family is a matter from birth to death.
Abandoned women are disgraced in the eyes of the world, and many women are discriminated against because of this, and many people kill themselves and lose their lives because of this. And Lu's mother let her son divorce his wife at will on some trumped-up charges, and she didn't care about her daughter-in-law's reputation and life and death at all, which shows her arrogance.
But even though Lu You knew that his mother was arrogant and unreasonable, he still obeyed her orders and abandoned Tang Wan, who was not at fault. If it is said that he divorced his wife out of helplessness, then he can always fight against his mother's arrogance by not marrying a wife again, but he soon married another wife under his mother's arrangement, and also accepted a few beautiful concubines, and his so-called "affection" is nothing more than that.
Look at Lu You's performance after he failed his wife, if he knew that he had failed Tang Wan and no longer had a position to perform affectionately, he would simply say goodbye and be happy in his life, and wish his ex-wife to meet his lover again and be happy for the rest of his life, and he would be a man who is upright and responsible.
However, when he saw Tang Wan and Zhao Shicheng traveling hand in hand in Shenjia Garden ten years later, he seduced his ex-wife with an inscription, gazed affectionately, and evoked Tang Wan's memories of the past.
Lu You's contemporaries and later generations all thought that he was a good man with deep affection and righteousness, and he also won the reputation of an infatuated man because of this "Hairpin Phoenix" and the two "Shen Yuan Nostalgia" poems written later, two "Sleepwalking in Shen Yuan" poems and several love poems to commemorate Tang Wan written shortly before his death.
But in fact, this is a testimony to his selfishness and greed. If he is really in love, will he marry a wife and take a concubine soon after separating from Tang Wan? If the love is really deep, you should swear to defend the relationship between the two to the death; If you can't do it, then give the other person freedom and give the other person blessings.
If the love is really deep, you should really relax when you see that the person you really love has a good match and can be happy, and wish her a quiet, happy and safe life for the rest of her life.
But Lu You's so-called "affection" cost Tang Wan's life. Didn't he really know what kind of consequences his old affection for Tang Wan would lead to? Didn't he really know that he was no longer qualified to be nostalgic for this old love?
Does he really not know that the so-called "affection" he shows at this moment will only be a stumbling block and a sharp blade in his ex-wife's chest to prevent his ex-wife from starting his new life again? Didn't he know that in the ten years of his absence from Tang Wan's life, it was Zhao Shicheng who took care of and accompanied Tang Wan, and he had long lost the right to express his so-called "affection" to Tang Wan!
Without Zhao Shicheng's comfort and companionship, it is doubtful whether Tang Wan can live well at this time, and what qualifications does he have to perform "affectionate" after ten years of absence from Tang Wan's life? If a person's so-called "affection" can only lead the other person to misfortune and death, then the authenticity of this relationship is very questionable.
Complex human nature
So, is Lu You's real love for Tang Wan! The author thinks that he doesn't really love Tang Wan, he just doesn't want to lose to Zhao Shicheng.
He feels that this woman belongs to him, so it should no longer belong to others, even if he doesn't want it, others can't want it, otherwise he will be jealous, he will be unwilling, just like a selfish and willful child, he doesn't like toys, if others want to take them to play, he will also grab it.
In fact, from his behavior, the shadow of his mother can also be vaguely seen: Lu's mother felt that Tang Wan had snatched her son, so she wanted to break up her son and daughter-in-law; Lu You felt very uncomfortable when he saw his ex-wife and her current husband Qin Se and Ming, so he wanted to keep his ex-wife's heart with a deep love poem and a "affectionate gaze" look - even if he couldn't get someone, he had to get his heart.
This is simply the same as his mother's selfishness and domineering. True love is dedication, giving, fulfillment, and blessing. And false love is only thinking about one's own interests and feelings, and ignoring the happiness and even life of others.
Tang Wan also has a responsibility in the tragedy of her own life. Who is the most cherished person in Tang Wan's life? It should be her future husband Zhao Shicheng. This person can marry her after she is abandoned, and show sincere sympathy and cherishment to her, that is her true bosom friend, and she is the soul mate she should cherish and love for the rest of her life.
It was he who made Tang Wan's traumatized heart gradually heal, and began to sprout new emotional sprouts, all of which shows Zhao Shicheng's generosity and kindness. Seeing Lu You in the Shen Family Garden, Zhao Shicheng understood very well that his wife still had old feelings for her ex-husband, but he was not jealous and jealous, but asked his wife to send a pot of water and wine to her ex-husband, so as to completely break the front edge, which shows that he is open-minded and gentle, and broad-minded.
This is a good match that Tang Wanying cherishes all her life. It's a pity that Tang Wan fell too deep into the previous bad relationship, so that she couldn't extricate herself from her feelings for her ex-husband, didn't know how to cherish the person in front of her, and finally gave Qingqing her life in vain.
Tang Wan is using her whole life to love Lu You, taking this love as the whole meaning of her life, but for Lu You, this lost love is just a dream of his youth, a regret in life, take it out when he has nothing to do, play with it, add some color to his dull life, and satisfy his self-absorption of being a seed of infatuation.
However, this so-called affection never delayed him from marrying a wife and having children, and extending it to future generations; has not delayed his family happiness and family enjoyment; also won him the reputation of "infatuated man", but he alone ruined the life of his ex-wife Tang Wan! Whether Lu You is affectionate or affectionate can be seen from this.
epilogue
I hope that all men can become husbands who stand up to the sky and take responsibility, instead of "pseudo-filial piety" who obeys their mother's life, ruining their own happiness and the lives of others, and I hope that Lu You Tang Wan's love tragedy will become a history that will never be repeated.
正所谓:
The Sansheng stone is set on the front edge, and the will of heaven is difficult to violate.
If you listen to the words and break the strings, one separate and two wide is the truth.
Indecision is taboo, and selfishness and greed are even more disgusting.
Silent blessing is true love, and the years are quiet and turbulent!