In most parts of the north, when there is a funeral in the family, the mother's uncle's family is regarded as a guest of honor. The so-called maternal uncle's family is the mother's family of the filial son. According to the humanistic rules of husband and wife, the general custom believes that whether the father dies or the mother dies, the filial son's mother's maiden family is a guest of honor.
Distinguished guests are invited to show respect and discretion. Therefore, the folk custom sets that when the parents pass away and there is a funeral in the family, the mother's uncle's family should come to the door to report the funeral. The mother's uncle's family came to mourn, and the filial sons and grandchildren had to kneel on the road to welcome the mourning guests according to the requirements of the ceremony.
So what are the particulars and requirements for going to my uncle's house to report the funeral? What are the taboos and taboos? Based on the normative etiquette classics, we will discuss it in combination with the actual life for your reference and commentary.
1. The mourner personally reported the funeral
The so-called mourner is the person with the heaviest mourning clothes, the person who is the most noble in funeral etiquette, the person who drops the funeral basin, and the person who helps the coffin to lead the coffin to be buried. The standard etiquette is set as the eldest son.
That is to say, the eldest of the filial sons is the mourner, and he reports the funeral to his mother's family, asking the eldest to go in person, and it is better for the brothers to go together. At the funeral, the boss represents not personal ability and level, but etiquette status and treatment.
2. No matter how many people there are in the mother's family, only one family is reported for funeral, usually the uncle's family
According to the standard of mother, the relatives and relatives counted from the mother's mother's family are collectively referred to as the mother's family. According to the requirements of etiquette classics such as "Etiquette" and "Zhuzi's Family Rites", with filial piety as a reference, maternal grandparents, uncles, aunts, uncles and cousins, and aunts and cousins are relatives and people in mourning clothes. The spouses of aunts, uncles, uncles, cousins, and cousins are relatives and are non-mourning personnel. Other family members can participate in the mourning, but they are all people without mourning clothes.
It is generally believed that the members of the maternal grandfather's family also belong to the scope of the mother's family. According to the norm etiquette, it is an undressed person, and according to custom, it is a distinguished guest.
For family affairs, folk customs have the saying and practice of "whose family informs" and "whose relatives inform", that is, the mother's family is a large group, just find a leader, and there is no need to notify one by one.
If the maternal grandfather is still alive, the maternal grandfather shall be mourned; If the maternal grandfather is absent, the funeral uncle will be reported; If there is no one for the uncle, find the eldest cousin. Respect and inferiority are divided, and the young and old are orderly.
3. Mourning clothes must be used for funeral reporting (Dai Xiao)
The standard etiquette is called mourning clothes, and the folk custom is called wearing filial piety. According to the provisions of the "Book of Rites ---- Running to Mourning", the people who are in service within five clothes are in mourning clothes when they hear the mourning, and they are required to run all the way to the mourning in mourning clothes.
The meaning of mourning clothes is obvious, that is, it means that there is a funeral in your family, and you are in mourning, and outsiders will know it at a glance.
Folklore has the taboo of "wearing filial piety and not going out". The so-called Dai Xiao does not go out, which means that Dai Xiao goes out to do things other than funerals. During the period of mourning, Dai Xiao is not allowed to enter other people's family houses or family courtyards without permission; Do not touch or use other people's equipment, facilities, items, etc. without permission. But on public roads or public places, there are no restrictions and contraindications.
4. The funeral should be reported on the main road
Funerals are also called "big things". It is natural and righteous to report the funeral, it is right, it is right, it is right, it is righteous, and it is justifiable, so it should give priority to the road.
The so-called big road is to go to my uncle's house, and take the most spacious, the most frequented, and the most popular road. Don't take the path where you can't cross the vehicle, don't take the shortcut road with a ditch, and don't pass through the alley between the houses. Take the road in front of my uncle's house to the main entrance.
5. To report the funeral, you need to kneel and please
When the bereaved person goes to the gate or courtyard gate of the bereaved person's house, he shall kneel, report the mourning loudly and kneel down to invite the mother's family.
Note that at this time, the bereaved person cannot get up without help, the bereaved person is not invited to enter the door or enter the house, and the bereaved person is not invited to sit down.
The bereaved person should report the relevant circumstances of the deceased before his death, what efforts he made, and how sad he was. And inform the preparations and overall arrangements for the funeral, when will the hanging be opened? What day will the funeral be buried? Wait a minute.
6. At my uncle's house, I have to give gifts to everyone I see
The mourning of filial sons is within the family range of the mother's uncle's house or the mother's uncle's family, and everyone must give a salute when they see it. Generally speaking, those who recognize it prostrate themselves, that is, they kneel down and knock their heads to the ground; Those who do not recognize it first bow or bow, and then kneel after the introduction.
There is a folk custom of "filial piety, flowing all over the ground", and it should be even more so in my uncle's house.
What other requirements and particulars do you have in your hometown?