Before reading the article, we invite you to click "Follow" in the upper right corner. It is convenient for you to view more high-quality articles at any time, and it is also convenient for you to participate in our discussions and sharing.
【Personal Growth & Career Ideals】
作者：Bella
1 Succeeded, a bit of a top
Yesterday, a friend asked a very profound question. This friend has opened a local novelty experience center, and his store has recently exploded, ranking first on Meituan and Douyin for five or six months in a row, and earning so much that he can't believe it. The success he had never imagined had come so suddenly, and he was indeed very happy. But in the dead of night, he always felt a little uneasy.
He said that the feeling of happiness really made people "a little bit up", like being drunk, in the clouds, and I didn't know what was going on, but I was very excited, and the whole person seemed to float up. He said he was obsessed with the feeling, but found it unreliable and dangerous. He wanted to get back to the surface, but he couldn't sink it.
What he wants to ask is, how to get rid of this feeling of "going up" and sober up from the "drunken excitement"?
This is really a particularly good question. Being able to ask this question shows that his inner world is calm and powerful. Many people have experienced the excitement of being drunk, but there are very few people who can realize the dangers of being drunk and want to get rid of that hallucination.
In the face of the sudden arrival of great success, few people can not be excited. Most people will be obsessed with or even pursue this excitement, acknowledging and accepting the self-aggrandizement that has been confirmed by this excitement. There are also some people who feel that this feeling is not good, but they are always ashamed to face their feelings, and always feel that this "nouveau riche mentality" exposes a person's poverty and weakness.
Is this feeling real? Do we need to be vigilant?
Writer Sun Juan once told one thing: she said that when she was in her first year, she became the section chief of the unit. As soon as she took office, the people who ignored her before immediately greeted her with a smile and nodded. But she was well aware that the "respect" of these people was not for her, but for the chair she was sitting on. Later, she resigned, and those who complimented her really changed back to their previous faces.
Sun Juan has always been very sober, neither happy nor disappointed. Because she knows that the attitudes of these people have nothing to do with her.
Later, her writing ability was seen by more and more people, and people began to ask her for manuscripts. She knows very well that the other party values her writing ability, not her status as a "university teacher". This ability is her own, not the platform.
In life, we rarely see people who have such a clear understanding of their abilities and circumstances. On the contrary, there are many people who fall into the trap dug by their own hands because of arrogance and excitement.
For example, many demolition households were blindfolded by the huge amount of money falling from the sky, spending all day drinking, eating, drinking and having fun, and finally their wives broke up and were saddled with debts.
For example, many celebrities and Internet celebrities began to speak wildly after they became popular, couldn't control their behavior, and even did illegal and criminal things, which were later exposed and even imprisoned.
For example, after some people have a half-official position, they think that they have power, become a superior person, start all kinds of black-box operations, retaliation, and then be reported or sanctioned.
Confucius warned the world: "Virtue is thin and respectful, knowing the small and seeking the big, and the strength is small and the responsibility is heavy, and it is rarely enough." "In our words today, if a person is not good enough and has not enough conduct, but suddenly has great success, it is really a curse and not a blessing.
2 Don't be an idol
In fact, you can see this kind of thing clearly from a distance, but when you look at your own life, it is difficult for you to find the clues. So, let's pull the camera back to us to recall the successes and failures of the people around us or ourselves.
I have seen a child who is in school, his grades are not good on weekdays, and suddenly he scored 90 points in the test, the teacher praises him, the parents are happy, and he himself floats away all of a sudden. I started not listening to lectures in class again, my homework was more confused than before, and I failed again in the next exam.
I've seen young people who suddenly made their way and started picking him up and dropping him off everywhere he went, and colleagues and customers rushed to treat him to dinner. But when he returned to work, he really didn't have the ability to deal with such a tricky business, so he could only drag it out day by day, and finally resigned in a hurry.
I have seen an old man in his seventies and eighties, who when he was young, worked in government agencies, called friends and companions outside, commanded at home, and most of the people around him listened to him. However, since his retirement, fewer and fewer people have come to see him, and in the end, even his children are reluctant to visit.
You see, the problem of "not knowing yourself" does not distinguish between age, level, or growth environment, as long as you don't know yourself, this is the festering and decay in our lives. Therefore, the point is not to summarize the laws in the failures of others and try to confirm the fairness of fate, but to look at yourself and see if you can resist success, whether it is unexpected or long-awaited.
In fact, everyone overestimates their abilities, efforts, and qualities, and success undoubtedly adds the evidence we want for our "overestimation". When a person doesn't know himself, can't understand chance, luck and platform, he is idolizing himself.
You may wonder if you think I can understand that I can idolize others, but how can I idolize myself? In fact, idolizing others and idolizing oneself is based on the same mentality.
Idolizing others is projecting good impressions and expectations onto others, and people like that image, praising a certain identity, status, and privilege, rather than a certain image and the person behind it. The most typical example is star chasing. In fact, there is a distance between fans and celebrities, and this distance makes fans unable to understand the "star" they are chasing, and everyone only understands the person in their hearts. So when a celebrity has a scandal, fans are not defending that person, but are afraid that the image in their hearts will be broken.
And idolizing oneself is to project a beautiful image onto oneself, because this idol is ourselves, so the way we maintain it is no longer to argue or call for the other party, but to use external success to confirm our self-awareness.
3 Know thyself
Teacher Luo Xiang wrote in an article: "An important step in life growth is to disenchant idols. No one can afford to be perfect because we are not perfect ourselves. ”
All idols are disillusioned. If you can look at yourself, you will find that most of our good expectations are beyond our reach, and even the simplest "keep your word" and "do what you say" are often more than enough for us.
When a person begins to know himself, he is connected to truth and wisdom. Especially for people with lofty ideals, it is especially important to know yourself. You have to realize that there is and will always be a dark part of your nature. This darkness is not something that the ideal light can cover, on the contrary, it is this darkness that destroys our ideals in the dark.
You need to know that you will not be higher than others because of a lofty ideal. You will face more temptations, dangers, and anxieties. You need to fight on the battlefields of the world, and you need to subdue your inner enemy.
Knowing yourself will make you respect the noble ideals, which cannot be born from a dark nature, then the ideals are not produced by ourselves, but we are brought into a noble mission. Just as a dark room does not produce light, if it is illuminated by light, it is because a light has come to the room.
Light illuminates both darkness and filth. Disappointment in oneself is the only way to have hope in the light, and detachment from darkness is the only way to wash away the filth. Seeing ourselves and knowing ourselves is a matter of our life, and it is also the beginning and end of our career.
Thank you for reading. If the article is helpful to you, click "Like" and "Bookmark", or repost it for more people to see. 】
[Since you're here, don't go.] Focus on "The Vow" and let's meet again in the next topic. 】