In the multiple-choice question of earning a living and accompanying parents
If there is a third option, I'm afraid no one is willing to try
Sometimes, as a child, I really struggle inside
In front of you is life, you have to feel it
Behind him are parents who need to serve on their knees
In order to survive, too many people have to choose to stay away from home
Leaving his parents alone in his hometown
The grace of kneeling milk can't withstand the rough reality
With filial piety, he lost to the hardships of the day
Helpless young man
In the end, you can only understand your parents and honor your parents in the monitoring
A screen a few inches in size, opening up a corner of the parents' lives
Look at their daily routines in the surveillance
Cleaning the yard, doing laundry and cooking, chatting with neighbors......
The picture under the surveillance is both warm
It is also accompanied by helplessness
The long network cable is tied to the roof at one end and the other to the heart
One end is tied to worry, and the other is worried
In this life, it is difficult to repay the debt owed to one's parents
If you are lucky enough to be with your parents
Serve them well at your knees
If you are far away, you can only do your filial piety on the phone and on the monitor
Then spend more time chatting with them
Let them be happy, reassuring and happy
For many post-70s, 80s and 90s, unremitting struggle is a firm ideal of life, they carry the expectations and dreams of their elders, through hard work, go out of their hometown, change their lives, and finally start a family in a big city. At the same time, the elders who stayed in their hometowns are getting old, and although they want their younger generations to go to the city to live a "productive" life, they are not used to living in the city with their children, and they are reluctant to live in that hometown.
In this way, there are not only differences in life concepts and ways between them and their children, but also spatial distance. In the vigorous torrent of urbanization, the old people who stay in their hometown have become deeply concerned about the younger generations. Children face a dilemma: how to make a living in the fast-paced city life, and how to take care of and be filial to the elderly?
The installation of monitoring seems to have become an ideal choice, not only to see the daily life of the elderly, to bring a security guarantee to the elderly, but also to send the bottom of my heart through this kind of "cloud companionship" to parents.
Story 1
See grandma's smooth daily life
And he was relieved
A month after his grandfather's death, in May 2023, Mr. Mou decided to install surveillance at his grandmother's house.
A camera is installed inside and outside the grandmother's old house
Mr. Mou's grandmother's house is located in a village in Lantian County, and as soon as you enter the door of the old house, there is a bedroom and a kitchen. In May 2023, Mr. Mou installed a camera on a table next to the kang, and the camera automatically rotated according to people's movements, so that he could see his grandmother's activities in the house.
Grandma's ears are not good, her legs and feet are not so tough, when grandpa was alive, the two old people could take care of each other, but now grandma lives alone, and Mr. Mu is not at ease anyway. He also took his grandmother to his home in Lantian County, but after living for a while, his grandmother insisted on going back to her old house, saying that she was "not used to living" in the city, and she was still comfortable in the old house.
In August 2023, Mr. Mu also installed a monitor at the eaves at the entrance of the old house, so that he could see the yard and the path next to it, which is also where his grandmother often moves.
Grandma can often be seen through the camera
On May 9, a reporter from Huashang Daily Gale News came to Mr. Mou's grandmother's old house, and Mr. Mu also rushed back from the county seat on a motorcycle. Two cameras, one large and one small, will rotate with the person's whereabouts, and the large camera at the door is also equipped with smart lights.
When Mr. Mou turns on the surveillance, he can see a clear real-time picture and can hear the sound of the conversation. When I opened the replay of one day, I could see that it was almost noon, and my grandmother was holding a few green onions in the small vegetable garden in the yard, and she was hobbling towards the house.
"It's almost noon, and she's going back to the house to make lunch." Mr. Mu said that after installing the monitor, he turned on his mobile phone whenever he was free to see what his grandmother was doing, "The daily activities are very regular, after getting up in the morning, I make breakfast, go out of the yard to carry out activities, sit on the stones by the yard and chat with neighbors; Go back to the house at noon to cook and rest, and go out of the yard in the afternoon; It usually rests after 8 o'clock in the evening. ”
Seeing his grandmother's smooth daily routine, Mr. Mu was relieved.
I once saw that my grandmother was not in the house at night
Mr. Mou's 88-year-old grandmother, sitting on a stone at the gate, said: "I have bad ears, and I can't hear what you say." The reporter asked her if she knew the role of the two surveillances, and the old man waved his hand and said, "I don't know." ”
She said that she sometimes looked at the camera for a long time to see what it was.
The elderly are not very accustomed to using mobile phones, and there are landlines at home, but because the elderly have bad ears, it is more difficult to make calls. "Usually at night, my mother-in-law (grandma) usually sleeps at 8 o'clock, one night at 9 o'clock, looking at the surveillance, I found that my mother-in-law was not in the house, I was in a hurry, and immediately contacted the neighbors, knowing that my mother-in-law followed the people in the village to watch the play, I was relieved." Mr. Mou said.
Raised by his grandmother since he was a child
Determined to take care of her in her old age
Mr. Mou is 51 years old this year, and he is the eldest of 4 siblings. After installing surveillance for his grandmother, he and his younger siblings can see her daily routine on their phones.
Mr. Mu said that his mother died early, his father had been in poor health, and the four siblings were basically raised by their grandparents. Grandpa was a carpenter, so the childhood of his grandson and granddaughter was slightly richer than that of children in the same village. "My family can eat eggs and meat." Mr. Mou said that they grew up in this old house, and when they were children, their grandmother, who attended literacy classes, would prepare three meals a day. ”
As the eldest grandson of the family, Mr. Mou is deeply loved by his grandmother. At the age of 17, Mr. Mu enlisted in the army, and the army was in Xinjiang. The family sent him to town, and the grandmother cried all the way when she went, and then came back crying, very reluctant to give up on her eldest grandson.
In the army, Mr. Mou would write to his grandparents regularly, "At that time, there was no telephone, and once I came home from a visit to relatives, my grandfather and mother-in-law were harvesting corn in the yard, and when they saw me, they hugged me and cried excitedly. Mr. Mu said, tears streaming down his eyes. He said he loved his grandparents deeply and was determined to take care of them in their old age.
Over the years, Mr. Mou has followed the engineering team to do water and electricity installation, and at first he would run around. Later, in order to take care of the elderly, he rarely went far away. "Will come back every week for at least one day with my mother and one night in the evening. Coming back from the county seat, it was also very fast to ride a motorcycle. Mr. Mu said that he really hoped that he could always see his grandmother's daily life, "I want my mother-in-law to live a long life." ”
Story 2
Often "shouting" with blind grandmothers in the surveillance
Seven years ago, Ms. He installed surveillance cameras for her 81-year-old grandmother, who lived alone.
Grandma insisted on living alone all her life
Ms. He's grandmother, Mrs. Yan, lives in a village in Lintong District, Xi'an City, and lost her eyesight in her early 60s due to cataract disease.
The opposite door of my grandmother's family is also a relative, and she is very willing to help Ms. He take care of the elderly. One day, the neighbor noticed that the elderly man who usually sat at the door had not gone out for several days, and he was worried that something would happen, so he called Ms. He. It turned out that my grandmother was reluctant to go out and was "staying" at home. After this incident, Ms. Ho discussed with her lover and felt that installing surveillance was the best way.
On May 12, a reporter from Huashang Daily Gale News came to Mrs. Yan's home. It is a small 2-storey building with surveillance installed on both the first and second floors. Over the years, Ms. He and her husband have been able to see their grandmother's daily activities in the surveillance, which are about the same. Ms. He randomly found a replay, in the surveillance video, her grandmother was holding a few clothes in her hands, groping out of the bedroom and slowly walking to the place where the washing machine was placed. "Every day, my grandmother groped for the wall, went back and forth from the bedroom to the kitchen and bathroom, and would mop the floor in the living room regularly." Ms. He said that although her grandmother couldn't see with her eyes, she couldn't stay idle, and she liked to tidy up the house neatly and cleanly.
Surveillance has played a big role during the pandemic
What Ms. He and her husband did not expect was that surveillance played a great role during the epidemic.
My grandmother couldn't see, she wasn't used to using her phone, and her ears were not good, so it was difficult to make phone calls. During the epidemic, Ms. He could not go out. She suddenly thought that she could talk to her grandmother through the camera, so she looked at the surveillance and estimated that it was time for her grandmother to mop the floor in the living room, and she watched carefully. When Grandma mopped the floor closest to the camera, she shouted, "Mother! Old woman! ”
Grandma didn't realize it at first, but after shouting several times, Grandma finally straightened up to find the source of the sound, and finally determined that it was from the camera and that it was her precious granddaughter who was talking.
"Mother! We can't go out for the time being, we can't come back to see you recently, you have to take care of yourself! Ms. He said. Because my grandmother's ears are not good, and the camera has a time delay, the chat with my grandmother depends on the "shouting" one by one. However, Ms. He was still very happy and found a relatively convenient way to interact with her grandmother.
Since then, Ms. He and her husband have often "shouted" with their grandmother in the camera and chatted a few words about homely things, which is generally "have you eaten" and "what have you eaten". But this daily interaction makes the two of them feel more at ease.
The three granddaughters moved to their grandmother's house to take care of them
Mrs. Yan has only one daughter, and Ms. He, who was born in 1991, is her grandmother's only granddaughter. Ms. He's mother died early, and when she was in her second year of college, her grandmother fell ill and was hospitalized, and Ms. He rushed back to Lintong to take care of the elderly in the hospital. Under her careful care, my grandmother's health gradually improved, and the old and the young became deeply dependent.
Later, Ms. He worked, got married, and gave birth to a daughter in Xi'an, and under normal circumstances, they would return to Lintong every week to visit her grandmother and help the elderly take care of their lives.
As her grandmother got older, Ms. He became more and more worried about the elderly living alone. Just after the Spring Festival in 2024, Ms. He and her husband made a decision: to move to her grandmother's house with their children, on the one hand, they can accompany their grandmother, and on the other hand, they can change their lifestyle, killing two birds with one stone.
"I used to work in a bank, and my husband worked in the logistics industry, but now we have both quit our jobs and have a preliminary plan to start a business and become a new farmer. There are 6 fields in my hometown, and I plan to grow green vegetables and open up a research base. My daughter started elementary school in September this year, and there is also a very good primary school here. Ms. He said that after coming back for a few months, the night in the countryside was really quiet, and after coming back, not only did she go to bed early, but the quality of her family's sleep also improved.
Shift from "online accompaniment" to "offline accompaniment"
After the family moved back to Lintong, Ms. He felt that her ability to live had improved by leaps and bounds. "I'm in charge of three meals a day, so my cooking skills have improved. In the past, I used to order takeout in Xi'an, but now I live a healthier life. Ms. He said. Mrs. Yan sat up from the bed and said to reporters: "My granddaughter is very good to me!" I hurt the baby, and coming back affects them to go to work and affect the children's schooling. Having said that, the old man unconsciously smiled.
To the relief of Ms. He and her husband, since they came back, her grandmother has been much happier, and she is willing to go out to bask in the sun at the door every day, and will chat with the elderly in the neighborhood.
Recently, Ms. He bought a reclining chair for her grandmother and placed it on the balcony on the second floor. At first, my grandmother complained that my granddaughter was spending money indiscriminately, but under her granddaughter's strong "request", she lay down. Since then, she has enjoyed lounging on a recliner. "The old man is always like this, because he loves us, he always says insincere things." Ms. Ho said.
Ms. He and her husband were very happy to see their daughter playing games with the old man and hearing the old man tell the story of the wolf grandmother. "That's what my grandmother told me when I was a child, and I hope my daughter can also be exposed to it and know how to be filial." Ms. Ho said.
Story 3
In the surveillance, the mother was seen falling out of bed
The son is looking for someone to help
Eight years ago, his mother was hospitalized for a cerebral hemorrhage, and after being discharged from the hospital, Mr. Nguyen installed six wired cameras in his parents' home, covering all the places his parents would visit.
The elderly are not used to living in apartment buildings in urban areas
I had to quit the lease
Mr. Ruan's parents' home is located in Tiesuo Village, Liucunbao Street, Weiyang District, Xi'an City, and Mr. Ruan's home is in Xi'an City. Mr. Nguyen is in the engineering business and is often busy in other places, while his daughter-in-law takes care of his two children at home.
In 2023, Mr. Ruan's father passed away due to lung cancer, and the monitoring network installed before was also affected by the leakage of the roof.
On May 12, a reporter from Huashang Daily Gale News came to Mr. Ruan's parents' house and saw a wireless camera as soon as he entered the door of the two-story building. "This is where my mother does rehabilitation training, you see, we have installed equipment to exercise arms, and once I see something wrong with the elderly in the surveillance, I will immediately contact my family or neighbors to come and have a look." Mr. Ruan, 46, said that after his mother was hospitalized with a cerebral hemorrhage, he was paralyzed and needed rehabilitation.
Previously, Mr. Ruan rented a house for his parents in his community in Xi'an, thinking that it would be easier for him to take care of the elderly. "Surveillance is also installed in the rented house, but the old man doesn't like to live in a unit building, he feels that it is not as spacious as the house in his hometown, and he doesn't know his neighbors, and there is no one to talk to, so he has to go home to live, so he has no choice but to return the rent."
When he is bored, he "calls" his son to the camera
Once, when Mr. Nguyen was watching the surveillance, he found that his mother got up and wanted to get off the ground, but accidentally fell off the bed. He hurriedly called his family and neighbors, and the old man was taken to the hospital in time.
When he was away from home and making money to support his family, Mr. Nguyen turned on the surveillance to see his parents whenever he had time. I bought a lot of equipment for rehabilitation training, and I can see if the monitoring can also supervise whether the elderly are exercising on time.
Today, the newly installed wireless cameras have a conversation function, one of which is placed on the TV cabinet in the living room on the first floor. The 71-year-old mother likes to sit on the sofa and watch TV, and this camera can clearly see her mother's activities in the living room.
The old lady has a general understanding of the function of the camera, and she said that when she is bored, she will "call" her son to the camera on the sofa, and the son will also talk to her and ask about his physical condition.
Mr. Nguyen clearly felt that since his father's death, his mother was very lonely and became more and more dependent on him, so he would go home every other day to stay with his old mother. "On weekdays, after my daughter-in-law sends her two children to school, she will also come back to accompany the elderly and take care of them." Mr. Nguyen said.
Story 4
Father was seen looking at the camera for a long time
It's not a taste in his heart
Mr. Zong works in a cultural communication unit in Xi'an, and his hometown is in the rural area of Qianxian County.
Since his mother's death in 2010, Mr. Zong's father has been living alone in his hometown, only coming to Xi'an for a period of time during the annual heating season. "You can't get used to living in a house in the city," the old man always said.
Although the old man was 77 years old, he was physically strong and often went to the fields to take care of his apple and pear trees. The old man lost his mobile phone once when he was doing farm work, so he rarely brought his mobile phone when he went out to work, which caused the mobile phone to often fail to get through, and Mr. Zong was very worried, and often called his neighbors to ask him to help take a look.
But after a long time, Mr. Zong felt that he couldn't always trouble his neighbors, so he came up with the idea of installing surveillance for his hometown. Last year, he installed a monitor at his father's home, but he didn't expect it to come in handy as soon as he installed it-
At 9:40 p.m. on August 2 last year, Mr. Zong checked the surveillance and suddenly saw his father fall to the ground the moment he entered the house. The four neighbors smashed open the door together, and when they saw that the old man had some consciousness, the old man said, "I'm nothing, I'm just a little sleepy." ”
Mr. Zong was not at ease, so he asked his neighbor to help guard his father, and at the same time called his brother-in-law to drive the old man to the county hospital, they rushed to the emergency department of the hospital in the middle of the night, did an examination, and was hospitalized. When relatives visited him in the morning, the old man could not remember who had brought him to the hospital the night before.
After the hospital diagnosis, the old man fell and fell ill for two reasons, one was infected with the new coronavirus, and the other was busy doing farm work in the field on a hot day and suffered from heat stroke. Finally, after 8 days in the hospital, the old man recovered and went home. Mr. Zong bargained with his father again, and asked his classmates and neighbors for help, and finally persuaded the "strong old man" to contract most of the fruit trees to others.
As for picking up the elderly to live in Xi'an, it doesn't make sense at all. "My father was too tough, and he was busy in the field almost every day in the back of the yard. I'm used to being busy, and I don't want to be idle all of a sudden. Mr. Zong said that since his father fainted, he has returned to his hometown more frequently, and of course, the frequency of watching the surveillance has increased. In the morning, when I watched the surveillance and saw that the old man had gotten up to do his business, I could go to work with peace of mind; At night, I can see the old man lying in bed, turning off the lights and sleeping, so that I can rest assured that I am busy with my own business. Sometimes when I look at the surveillance and see my father looking at the surveillance head for a long time, I don't feel good in my heart......"
At this time, Mr. Zong would call his father to talk about family life, and he said that this was something that he had to do as a son who was out of town.
Story 5
Since the installation of surveillance
Children become "supervisors"
Mr. Zhao, 37, from a village in Chongqing, joined a state-owned enterprise after graduating from university and now lives in Xi'an. More than two months ago, the three brothers and sisters of the Zhao family installed surveillance for their parents in their hometown, and in Mr. Zhao's view, this move has made the big family closer.
I saw my parents doing farm work
Saw grandma walking in the yard
Mr. Zhao's mother, Ms. Ran, is 67 years old, his father is 70 years old, and his grandmother is 90 years old, and his grandmother currently lives with Mr. Zhao's parents.
On May 13, a reporter from Huashang Daily Gale News met Mr. Zhao in Xi'an, and he shared with the reporter the surveillance footage of his parents' home. Judging from the surveillance video, Mr. Zhao's hometown has a two-story building with a courtyard, and what you can see when you open the door is the lush mountain opposite.
In the surveillance video, Mr. Zhao's mother is doing farm work in the yard, and his father is wearing a straw hat and carrying a small hoe on his shoulder, and walks out of the yard. "My dad has to work in his vegetable garden every day." Mr. Zhao said.
The system automatically generates a short surveillance video of the day every day, accompanied by music. Mr. Zhao opened the video of the latest day, and saw that in the cheerful music, the 90-year-old grandmother sometimes walked in the yard, sometimes sat on a chair at the door to bask in the sun.
The old man fell asleep while watching TV
The camera "speaks".
Mr. Zhao said that the yard and living room are equipped with surveillance, "Since the installation of surveillance, our communication with our parents has increased exponentially, sometimes I want to chat with the elderly online, and find that it is busy, it turns out that my brother is chatting." "Mr. Zhao said that his mother had suffered from cerebral hemorrhage and high blood pressure, and her body needs to pay special attention." One day recently, I saw my mother with a band-aid on her finger in the surveillance, and I quickly called to ask, only to find out that she had injured her finger while chopping vegetables, so I reminded her to go to the clinic for tetanus injection. ”
Sometimes, when he saw his mother wearing no socks in the video, Mr. Zhao would call her to urge her to put them on, worried that she would catch a cold. "At night, the elderly like to watch TV, they often fall asleep watching it, I have seen it several times in the surveillance, and each time I will wake them up in the camera, remind them to turn off the TV, turn off the lights, and go to bed." Mr. Zhao said that in order to let his parents and grandmother eat more fruits, their three brothers and sisters often buy all kinds of fruits for the family to express back, and also bought a refrigerator for fruits, and they also deliberately put the refrigerator in a place where the monitoring can be seen, "They are used to saving, they are always reluctant to eat, and sometimes the fruit will be in the refrigerator for a long time." If we find that they haven't opened the fridge for several days, we will call them to remind them not to spoil the fruit. ”
Staring at the back of mom picking peas
He didn't want to look away
A few days ago, Mr. Zhao saw his mother sitting on a small stool in the yard picking peas in the surveillance, and Mr. Zhao remembered that he had seen such a scene when he was a child. He has been watching the back of his mother picking peas in the surveillance, and he doesn't want to look away, he feels very warm in his heart, "It's good to have my mother here!" ”
Fathers and mothers probably know the function of surveillance, and they are also happy to live in the eyes of their children in this way, accept their children's care and "supervision", and are also happy to chat with their children in the air.
The content of the chat is generally like: What did you eat today? How does your body feel? Did you take your medication on time?
However, the 90-year-old grandmother is not very aware of the "new gadget" of monitoring, and she is full of curiosity when she sees her grandchildren far away and can still talk to them at any time. She would wave her hand in the direction of the camera and say hello to her grandchildren. When I was walking around the yard with nothing to do, I also looked up at the camera from time to time.
Parents have been through hardships
Offered 3 college students
Mr. Zhao recalled that his parents gave all their love to the three of them, when he was a child, his father went out to work, and his mother ran the family and tried her best to cultivate. After graduating from college, my brother worked as a teacher in the county seat, and he went farther, and my sister was in college. Along the way, parents have given too much, and it is not easy.
"I remember one time when I was a kid when I had a high fever in the middle of the night, and my father carried me all the way to the hospital in the town, and I still remember that night vividly." Mr. Zhao said that fortunately, as he and his brother participated in the work, the family situation is getting better and better, in recent years, they have built a new house for their parents, Mr. Zhao also took his parents to live in Xi'an, hoping to take care of and accompany his parents more, "but they are not used to eating here, the diet is relatively different, and the people around them do not know each other, and the old man still feels comfortable living in his hometown." Mr. Zhao said that in the same way, his parents are not used to living at his brother's house in the county seat.
After "Cloud Accompaniment".
The group change of the brothers and sisters is active
What worries Mr. Zhao the most is that his parents always report good news but not bad news. "Last year, my mother fell and broke her arm, was hospitalized, and had a bad cold, and they didn't tell us until it was a long time later." Mr. Zhao said that this made him very annoyed in his heart, and in the Spring Festival of 2024, the three brothers and sisters will all want to be together, "Install surveillance for your parents!" ”
In March of this year, this was implemented. After installing the surveillance, the brother and sister talked more about their parents and grandmother in the group, "Although they are all very trivial things, we are happy and feel very happy." Mr. Zhao said that his brother lives in the county seat, and if his parents have any emergency, he can drive home in more than one hour.
Mr. Zhao calls the connection with his parents in monitoring "cloud companionship", which is also the best way for siblings to find between "family development" and filial piety to the elderly.
At the same time, whenever Mr. Zhao had time, he also took his daughter-in-law and children and drove back to his hometown from Xi'an to stay with his parents. "Sometimes, on weekends, I just go back and drive eight hours to get home."
>> reporter's notes
The elderly have an extra form of remote care
It also places the inner thoughts of the wanderers
With the process of urbanization, most of the younger generation has left their hometowns and entered the cities, where they have taken root in the cities, while the elderly prefer to stay in their hometowns.
During the interview, I can feel the separation of the living habits and lifestyles of two or three generations, but I can also feel a strong family affection. Between their own lives and filial piety, their children and grandchildren thought of the way to "pretend to monitor", which is a helpless choice and the best way they can think of. Who doesn't want to be by the side of the elderly, and who doesn't want to take care of the elderly more conveniently? What old man doesn't want to be happy and enjoy the joy of family?
Some netizens said that after installing monitoring for their parents, they can not only see their every move, but also chat with them, making up for the regret of not being able to get along day and night, as if everyone is still living together; Some netizens said that when they were children, they looked into the distance at the door of their homes, and when they worked, they looked at their homes in the distance; Some netizens also said that after installing the surveillance, they have less worries, but more sadness, and they have seen a lot of hard work of their parents who they don't usually know, and the elderly also have new expectations and losses...... But in any case, high-tech means do give the elderly more remote care, more security, and also let the thoughts and nostalgia in the hearts of the wanderers have a place to place.
While using surveillance care, we must also pay attention to the preciousness of "neighborhood watch". In addition, it is also recommended that relevant departments improve the volunteer team linked by the village committee, and provide basic training for volunteers to provide necessary assistance to the left-behind elderly. The children of the elderly in other places can give back and support in other ways.
Everyone has a day to grow old, and it is everyone's wish to let the old people spend their old age in love. Huashang Daily Gale News reporter Ren Ting/Wen Qiangjun/picture
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