As the saying goes: it is difficult to get old, every parent has an old day, if the child can not prevent old age, especially when sick, the parents must be lost, for the children, can not be filial piety before the bed, may be a lifetime of regret.
A 45-year-old only daughter, talking about her parents, said very guiltily: My parents have raised me for 30 years, but I can only live with my in-laws, leaving my sick parents in my hometown, I feel very sorry for my parents, but what can I do?
Narrator: Sister Gao
I am 45 years old this year, is the only daughter in the family, I was born in a very happy family, my father is a quality inspection technician in the factory, my mother is a primary school teacher, I grew up in a loving environment, my parents are loving, they poured all their love into me, let me grow up carefree.
Because my mother is a teacher, she has attached great importance to my studies since I was a child, and I was admitted to Wuhan University in college, majoring in civil engineering. and successfully escorted the graduate students, and it was here that I met my husband Zhang Xun.
Zhang Xun is 1 year older than me, his family conditions are not as good as ours, his parents are from the countryside, he has been farming in his hometown, and he has no pension. There is an older sister in the family. Married far away in Zhejiang.
After graduating from university, when it came to the stage of talking about marriage, there was no bride price, and my mother-in-law only gave me a gold ring. We got married.
In the second year after marriage, I became pregnant, and my in-laws took out the money at the bottom of the box, gave us 150,000 yuan, and asked us to buy a house.
Not long after I bought the house, I gave birth to a child, and I considered that the child should be brought by someone, so my in-laws have been living with us since the birth of the child.
Zhang Xun is the only son of his in-laws, in the countryside, a boy is a treasure, and he has been cared for since he was a child. He is also very filial to his in-laws, as soon as his mother-in-law said that he was sick, he immediately took him to the hospital, or asked for leave to take care of him at home, and asked for warmth.
Although he is very good to me, but after living under the same roof for a long time, there is no conflict between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Especially when it comes to bringing up children. At first, Zhang Xun was still on my side, but as time went by, his attitude towards me gradually changed, especially as soon as my mother-in-law complained to him, he became very impatient with me and ignored me.
I have talked to Zhang Xun many times that I want to rent a house separately, either we rent it outside, or my in-laws rent it outside, even if it is in the same community. Distance produces beauty, which can reduce some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts.
But Zhang Xun didn't agree, he said that his parents were only one of his sons, how could he let the elderly suddenly live outside? He didn't want to make the old man sad. Does renting a house hurt my self-esteem so much? And just like that, the idea came to an end.
In fact, after being married for so many years, my mother-in-law has taken care of almost all the housework in the family, shopping for vegetables and cooking, and my father-in-law is responsible for taking care of the children to play. Sometimes I see that my mother-in-law is too hard, and says that I will cook, but she refuses to let me, she says that Zhang Xun has loved to eat her cooking since she was a child.
My child is also spoiled by his in-laws, and if he doesn't eat well, he will feed him, cry at home, and don't cry when he takes him out to play, so his mother-in-law often shows off in front of us and says: You see, the child listens to me more. I'm better at it than you.
Although I hardly have to do anything at home, it is a blessing from my previous life, but to be honest, I don't feel how happy I am, and those are all wishful thinking on the part of my mother-in-law.
We have been married for so many years, because I live with my in-laws all the year round, I see my parents very rarely, my parents are thousands of miles away in their hometown, although they have a retirement salary, they say: I'm fine, you don't have to worry, take care of yourself. However, he often gave me WeChat or phone calls to ask the mainland if he wanted to go back for the Chinese New Year.
For office workers like us, who are married far away, it is so difficult to meet my parents once, and I feel even more guilty as an only child. My mother called and said that if she wanted to come to see her grandson, she would stay in a hotel, and I knew that they were afraid of causing unnecessary trouble.
The 80-square-meter house here is not enough to live in, and even if it is enough to live, it is impossible for four old people to live under the same roof. I thought it was because we couldn't afford to buy another house, otherwise we could take my parents over and live there.
It just so happened that in the winter of that year, my eldest sister-in-law came back to see her in-laws, and when the four of us were chatting, my eldest sister-in-law proposed to buy a single apartment with us for my in-laws to live in, and each of us paid half the price. Considering that it is such a small house as ours, it will not be enough to live in the future when we have a second child, so we simply buy a set of pension for our parents.
I was overjoyed to hear it, because according to my husband and I's existing savings, it was too expensive to buy it separately, but it was just right to buy it together, and the single apartment was enough to live in. In this regard, my husband maintained a neutral attitude and agreed only after my repeated persuasion. When her in-laws heard this, they didn't say anything, and after showing her the house, they signed and bought it.
At this point, I was full of joy and thought that now that I had bought a house for my in-laws, my in-laws should be willing to live there, and I could take my parents over as a matter of course.
However, my husband was reluctant to talk to his in-laws about it, and he felt that it was unfilial to ask my in-laws to move out for no reason. The in-laws were the same as usual, and they didn't take the initiative to live. They still live in my house, and their lives go on as usual. The house was sitting empty.
When my child was in the fourth grade, my father-in-law fell and broke his ribs, and he had to lie in bed for a while to recuperate, and my mother-in-law had to take care of the whole process every day. Considering the children's studies, I asked my mother-in-law if I could move to the single apartment I bought, and asked my parents to come and take the children.
When the mother-in-law heard this, she was very angry, and she didn't speak, which meant that she didn't agree. My husband didn't agree with his mother like this, and even had a cold war with me for a long time, and my relatives at home also talked about me, saying that I was ignorant, and my father-in-law was sick, and asked them to move out.
I'm actually very aggrieved in my heart, can't I take my parents over? I'm going to live with my in-laws for the rest of my life?
In fact, not only my father-in-law was sick, but the next year, my father was also diagnosed with a nodule in his lungs, which was malignant, which was like a bolt from the blue for me.
I have never been filial to my parents in my life, and this time, I will take my parents over to live no matter what. After so many years of marriage, my parents have come to my house less than 8 times, and when I talked to my husband about it, I said: "I didn't ask for a penny of the bride price at the beginning, and now that my dad is sick, do you want to take the initiative to take my dad over, besides, your parents don't want to live in a house." "But my husband was still unmoved.
The relationship between our two husbands and wives became more and more stiff, and I often quarreled, and my attitude towards my in-laws also changed from the initial respect to the later becoming more and more indifferent, and I thought that what my husband did was connived at by my in-laws behind my back. They are a nostril outlet.
I actually never wanted to be unfilial to them, and even if my parents came, I could still visit them and take care of them. But they never understood me from the perspective of me, an only child.
In the end, my parents were still in their hometown, my dad had surgery in the local hospital, I took a leave of absence for half a month to go back to take care of my dad, and the rest of the time my mom was taking care of me, both of whom were in their 70s. When I went back, I was in charge of taking care of my dad in the hospital, and my mom was shopping for groceries and delivering food.
I often see my mother crying silently at night, and I know that she is worried and a little helpless. After my dad was discharged from the hospital, I went back, and when my mom saw me off, I cried again, I knew she was reluctant to let me, but I couldn't help it. My parents have raised me for 30 years, but I can only keep my sick parents in my hometown.
Many people say that my in-laws help me take care of the children and do housework, I am already grateful, and I should not let them go, but I think this is selfish, not to tie everyone together, is the foundation of a happy marriage of a family, give enough space, we will respect from the bottom of our hearts, and we will be filial from the bottom of our hearts. This is the foundation of a family's harmony.
Are there any only daughters like me, and how do you provide for your parents?