It was an old and vivid past, in 1989, I was twenty-three years old, and my name was Li Yan. My family lives in a small town, and they are among the best beauties there. Back then, I had a sense of arrogance, and I always closed my door to those suitors who stepped through the threshold.
I remember that it was an autumn day, and Zhang Sheng came. He was my childhood friend and grew up together. He confessed to me that he wanted me to be his wife. However, at that time, I was arrogant and always felt that there was a better future waiting for me, so I angrily rejected him.
"Zhang Sheng, you are a good person, but what I want is not this kind of life." I said to him coldly.
He departed gloomily, his back stretched long on the leafy streets.
Ten years have passed, and I am still alone, and the pride of those years has long been smoothed out by the years. As for Zhang Sheng, he has no news, some people say that he went to a big city, and some people say that he made a fortune.
Until one day, the town suddenly became lively, and people rushed to say that Zhang Sheng was coming back. As rumored, he returned to his hometown and became a big boss.
There was a hint of remorse in my heart, but more of anticipation. I wanted to see him again and wonder if he still had that affection for me.
When he appeared in front of me, my heart raced and the phrase "are you okay" swirled in my throat. And he smiled faintly: "Li Yan, long time no see." ”
We sat down in a teahouse and talked about the changes in the past decade. His tone was calm, but I felt more and more uneasy.
"Li Yan, you rejected me back then, I went to the big city and suffered a lot, but I also learned how to survive." Zhang Sheng said.
I lowered my head and didn't dare to look into his eyes: "Zhang Sheng, I'm sorry for you." ”
He smiled: "It's all over, I'm doing well now." I came back this time to see my hometown and see you. ”
I raised my head with tears in my eyes: "Zhang Sheng, do you still want me?" ”
He was silent for a while, and then said, "Li Yan, we have all changed, and we are no longer the same selves we used to be. You and I have no fate, so we're all right. ”
After he left, I burst into tears. I finally understood that there are some things that you can never get back if you lose them.
Since then, I've been closed to my own life. In the dead of night, I still think of that autumn day, and the man I once loved.
Time flies, and decades have passed in the blink of an eye. I am no longer the young and beautiful Li Yan, and Zhang Sheng has become an eternal regret in my heart.
Perhaps, life is like this, there are always some misses, let us know how to cherish. And those former beauty, let it remain in the memory and become the eternal scenery in our hearts.
As the days passed, I learned to live with loneliness and listen to my heartbeat in the quiet of the night. Until one day, a strange woman came to my door in the town, dressed in gorgeous clothes and with the breath of the city.
"Excuse me, is this Li Yan's home?" Her voice is gentle and powerful.
I nodded, looking at her quizzically.
She smiled and took out a letter from her bag: "This is what Zhang Sheng asked me to pass on to you." ”
I took the letter, my hands shaking involuntarily. She didn't say much, just looked me deeply and turned away.
I couldn't wait to open the envelope, and Zhang Sheng's handwriting came into view:
"Li Yan, when you read this letter, I have already left this world. I know, I owe you an explanation, I owe you an apology. Over the years, I was looking for my life until I met her. She was the last journey of my life and one of my fondest memories. I wanted to tell you all about it myself, but as fate would have it, I didn't have time. I hope you can forgive me and forgive Zhang Sheng, who once loved you deeply. ”
The letter slipped from my hand, tears blurring my vision. It turned out that he was already seriously ill, it turned out that he had been looking for me, and it turned out that the fate between us was ruthlessly cut off by fate.
I began to regret it, regret the arrogance of the year, regret the ignorance of the year. If I could turn back the clock, I would choose to hold his hand tightly and tell him that I do.
A few days later, I received a notice of Zhang Sheng's funeral. I stood in front of his grave and looked at the black-and-white photograph of him smiling so peacefully.
"Zhang Sheng, why don't you wait for me?" I asked softly, full of regret.
The wind blew gently, as if it was his answer: "Li Yan, you want to live happily." ”
I nodded, tears welling up again. I know that I want to be strong, and I want to live out the days we didn't get through together.
Since then, I've started trying to get in touch with the outside world, I've learned to smile and I've learned to accept. I began to help those in need and pass on Zhang Sheng's love.
The years are like a song, and I am no longer the Li Yan who is closed to guests, but a woman who has learned to embrace life. Zhang Sheng, he will always remain in my heart and become my strength to move forward.
Perhaps, life is a farewell, but every goodbye is for a better encounter. I look forward to the day when I meet Zhang Sheng again, and at that time, I will tell him that I am doing well, well.
Over time, I gradually became a respected woman in town. Zhang Sheng's love, like a seed, took root in my heart and grew into a big tree that provides shade for others. I opened a small orphanage, using my meager strength to give those homeless children a warm home.
One day, a young volunteer came to the orphanage, his name was Xiaojie. He has a smile similar to Zhang Sheng's, that kind of warm and inclusive smile. Xiaojie's arrival reminded me of Zhang Sheng and that autumn afternoon.
"Aunt Li, why did you choose to open an orphanage?" Xiaojie asked me curiously.
I smiled, looked through the window, and landed on the mountains in the distance: "Because I want to make this world a better place because of me." ”
Xiao Jie nodded, his eyes full of respect.
Over time, Xiaojie became the orphanage's right-hand man. We plan the future for the children together and tell the story of Zhang Sheng at night. Xiaojie always listened with relish, and he said that Zhang Sheng was an amazing person.
One day, when I was sorting through my old things, I found a dusty box. It contained letters from me and Zhang Sheng, and those memories of my youth came in like a tide. I picked up a letter that read:
"Li Yan, no matter when and where, I hope you can be happy. If one day, we can't see each other again, remember, we must be happy. ”
Tears blurred my vision, and I gently said to the box, "Zhang Sheng, you see, I did it." ”
At this moment, Xiaojie walked in, and when he saw my tearful face, he looked a little panicked: "Aunt Li, what's wrong with you?" ”
I wiped away my tears, smiled and said, "It's okay, Xiaojie." I just remembered the good old days. ”
Xiaojie walked up to me and said softly, "Aunt Li, I believe that Mr. Zhang is in heaven and will be proud of you. ”
I nodded, a warm current welling up in my heart. Yes, Mr. Zhang would be proud of me.
After that, I decided to write Zhang Sheng's story into a book, so that more people can know our story, know what they missed and cherished. It took me months to document our bits and pieces.
On the day the book was published, the children in the orphanage gathered around me, and Xiaojie held a book and said excitedly: "Aunt Li, I will definitely read your book." ”
I stroked Xiaojie's head, looked out the window, and silently said to Zhang Sheng in my heart: "Look, our story is still going on." ”
The years are like songs, and the story continues quietly in the laughter of children and the tapping of keyboards. I understand that the meaning of life is not to have, but to transmit. What Zhang Sheng left me is not only a good memory, but also a kind of strength to face life bravely.
And this power will be with me forever.
Xiaojie became a regular visitor to the orphanage, and he would take time out to spend with the children every day, and his kindness and enthusiasm were infectious to every child. I looked at him, as if I saw Zhang Sheng back then, and I couldn't help but feel a warmth in my heart.
One day, Xiaojie came to my office, he looked at my busy figure, and asked softly, "Aunt Li, are you too tired?" You need to take a break. ”
I shook my head, smiled and said, "Xiaojie, I'm not tired. Watching these children grow up happily makes me feel like it's all worth it. ”
Xiaojie looked at me, and a trace of worry flashed in his eyes: "Aunt Li, don't you really need to take a break?" ”
I smiled and patted him on the shoulder: "Xiaojie, I'm fine." I've gotten used to this life over the years. Besides, how can I feel tired when I have you children by my side? ”
Xiaojie listened to my words and smiled on his face. He walked up to me and hugged me gently: "Aunt Li, you are such an amazing person. ”
I gently patted him on the back and felt a warmth in my heart. I know that I am not alone in this world because I have these children with me.
That night, I sat in my office, looking out the window at the moonlight, and a sudden surge of longing surged in my heart. I think of Zhang Sheng, and I think of the bits and pieces of our past. I know that he has left me, but his love has always been with me.
I picked up my pen and began to write a letter to Zhang Sheng. Although I knew he would not be able to receive the letter, I felt that it would calm my mind.
"Zhang Sheng, how are you? I know you can't receive this letter, but I still want to share my life with you. I started an orphanage to help the homeless children. Their smiles remind me of you. I know you'll be so proud of me. I hope you are doing well in heaven, and I will continue to work hard to make this world a better place because of me. ”
After writing the letter, I put it on the windowsill. I know that Zhang Sheng will definitely see it.
The years are like a song, and I go on with my life. I know that in this world, with Zhang Sheng's love with me, I will never feel lonely. I will continue to work hard to make this world a better place because of me.