Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In love, we always meet someone special.
He may have been a bright spot in our lives, but as time passed, for a variety of reasons, we had to think about letting go.
When encountering this situation, many people will choose to delete WeChat to try to forget. But in fact, the real letting go is not something that can be done by deleting it.
So, what exactly does it take to let go of a person faster?
01
We have to understand one thing, letting go of a person is not to completely erase him from memory, but to psychologically remove dependence and obsession with him.
As Zhang Xiaoxian said: "Letting go of a person is not to forget, but to stop remembering." ”
Therefore, the first step we need to do is to accept the reality and face up to our feelings, rather than running away.
At this time, don't be in a hurry to delete WeChat.
Because, WeChat is just a tool, and there is nothing wrong with it in itself.
Keeping his WeChat doesn't mean you can't put it down.
On the contrary, through WeChat, you can observe his life more intuitively. Gradually, let yourself get used to life without him.
When you see his dynamics and are no longer excited; When you see his name, no longer nervous. That means you're already on your way to letting go of him.
02
Next, we can try to divert attention.
It is often said that time is the cure for all wounds.
But during this "time", you need to find something to enrich yourself, whether it is work, study, or hobbies, these can be.
When you get busy, you will find that the shadow of that person appears less and less frequently in your mind.
As Schopenhauer said: "The way to avoid pain is to keep yourself busy, so that there is no time to think about unpleasant things." ”
After Xiaowen broke up, he couldn't let go for a long time.
She once thought about deleting her ex-boyfriend's WeChat, but in the end she didn't do it.
She tried to replan her life, and every day was full. A few months later, she found that she hadn't thought about her ex-boyfriend for a long time, and even when she saw his movements occasionally, she was able to paddle through them calmly.
03
In addition to this, you can also share your feelings with others.
When you feel sad or can't let go, you can find a trusted friend to talk to, which can often have unexpected effects.
The understanding and support of friends will make you feel that you are not alone and can also help you see things from a different perspective.
As Bacon said, "If you tell happiness to a friend, you will get two pleasures; And if you pour out your sorrow to a friend, you will be divided into half of it. ”
At this time, you can also try to create a new social circle.
As you enter a new environment and meet new people, you'll find your world colorful.
New friends, new life, these can make you gradually forget the past relationship.
Actually, this is not an escape, but a kind of growth.
After all, life is a process of constant encounters and farewells.
04
Every relationship is actually an opportunity for growth.
When you end a relationship, you might as well calm down and reflect on your gains and losses in the relationship.
Doing so can help you better let go of the past, and it can also allow you to avoid detours in your future relationship.
Mr. Yang Jiang once said: "No matter which step you go up in life, there are people looking up to you at the bottom of the steps, and there are people looking down on you on the steps. ”
When you are able to face your past and face your mistakes calmly, you are already on the road to growth.
In any case, it is not an easy thing to let go of a person, it takes time, courage, and more importantly, wisdom.
But remember that the real letting go is not to escape or delete his existence, but to release the obsession and dependence on him from the depths of the heart.
When you're able to do that, you're able to really let go.
As the saying goes, "Once the sea was difficult to water, except for Wushan, it is not a cloud." "May you completely let go and find your own piece of sea and clouds.