I have always believed that there is no purer affection than the relationship between parents and children. Love or friendship is more or less mixed with some other things, such as appearance, wealth, ability, and so on. But recently I saw a content that made me think: Is the relationship between parents and children really as I imagined?
↑ The reason is that a mother posted a post saying that her 14-year-old son repeatedly did not go to school, and the mother who had been tossing for several months was exhausted, so she ruthlessly kicked her son out of the house. The mother also changed the combination lock at home, planning to completely cut off the child's way back. ↑
➤ Many people advised this mother to calm down.
What can a 14-year-old do when he leaves home? He simply can't get a foothold in society! In case you encounter a bad person, or encounter any other danger, the parent must not regret his death! Learning is indeed a big deal, but children's personal safety is more important than that!
➤ There are also many people who express their understanding of this mother! Parents who have not been tortured by their adolescent children do not experience that sense of collapse at all. One comment was particularly impressive.
↓ "I'm also a mother who doesn't raise idlers, why do we work hard to go to school to make money and try to give her a better platform, ensure her material conditions and plan to send her to study abroad, but she lies flat at home? The whole family must progress together, and waiting for death to eat and die is not worthy of my good resources. ”↓
▽ The conditions at home of the netizen who posted this comment are really good: her parents have moved to Min, Tianjin has five suites, she can attend extracurricular classes for her children, 200 people can choose restaurants at will, and her homework is averaged 93 points to take to Tokyo Disney to play. Although this condition is not as good as that of the rich family, it also kills 90% of the families in the country.
↑ Netizens feel that the family provides such good conditions, and the child should strive to "meet at the top" with the family. If you want to lie down, then lie down to the side, don't let yourself see, you are "out of sight and out of mind"! ↑
➤ There are both supporters and dissenting voices at the bottom of the comments. I think this is quite normal, because different parents have different expectations for their children.
➤ But it is undeniable that those excellent children, well-behaved and obedient children, will receive more love and care from parents, and will also get more resource support. Because children with good grades are pendants for their parents with long faces; Cute and well-behaved children can provide emotional value to their parents. This is particularly true in families with many children. Even if parents always emphasize that they are a bowl of water. But when you're in it, you can clearly feel the difference.
▽ Say a negative example. I have a friend who has three sisters, and she is the youngest. Since she was a child, her parents have doted on her very much. The youngest child in other families would pick up the leftover clothes from her older siblings to wear, but her family was not, and she had more new clothes than her two older sisters.
Because she likes to eat snacks, she has always been meaty. Other children laughed at her for being a little fat, and her mother went to the other party's parents very seriously and told them that her daughter was not fat, and how blessed she was. My friend said that she has always been the envy of the children around her, and her parents are the best parents in the world.
▽But when she went to college, it seemed that everything had changed. Her eldest sister studied well and was admitted to 985, and her second sister was admitted to a very good normal school, but she was barely admitted to one or three schools. After that, the relationship with my parents seemed to be getting weaker and weaker. At first, she thought it was because she was away from home and was not with her parents, so she ran home very actively during the winter and summer vacations, National Day and May Day. But she found that even when she went home, her parents no longer talked to her as much as before, but the relationship with her two sisters was getting better and better, and even a little coaxing.
And once her mother was in a hurry, she said that she was so fat and didn't know how to lose weight, and how she was sensible and cute when she was a child, and how she became like this now. My friend was very sad. She didn't understand why her relationship with her parents had become like this.
Is it because she didn't get into a good university and she wasn't as beautiful as she was when she grew up, so her parents don't love her as much as they used to? Did the love that my parents gave to me really love themselves, or was it because they were "valuable" to their parents at that time?
➤ I read a passage: "There is no love for no reason in the world, and there is no hate for no reason, everything is based on the choice of self-interest, or reality, or ideal." ”
▽ In fact, think about it from another angle, why do you have to perfect and sanctify the "love of parents"? Parents are also human beings, and as long as they are human beings, they will have preferences for likes and dislikes. Even if they know that the love they give their children should be unconditional, they can't help but compare and favor. Having children is just about making them "parents", not "saints". As long as it's not too outrageous, there's no need to be too harsh.
If you have the unconditional love of your parents, then congratulations, because you are so blessed! If you don't have one, then please stop the internal friction and love yourself!