Continued from the previous part: Don't try to change others by changing your own clothes (I)
Second, learning love and happiness "Ming" and "Ling" both made a particularly serious mistake, that is, "caring about the result",
Every day, I always think, "When will my child get better?" ”，
"When will my relationship be sweet?" ，
"Why haven't I bloomed yet?"
"When will my child's grades improve?" "......
When our hearts are full of expectations for the result, everything we do is not to change ourselves, but to change ourselves as a method and means, in order to achieve the result.
In fact, because of the concern about the "result", it will produce pain,
Because "desire" and "fear" are both generated by caring about "results",
Desires and fears are "evil fruits."
Because of the desire for results, desires arise,
Let your heart not return to the present, not feel happy and beautiful,
Because I am afraid that the result will not be good, I am afraid,
Let your heart be enveloped in negative energy and stay away from the light.
The process of learning love and happiness is not a process of trying to achieve results, which only makes fear and desire exist in another beautiful form, because what I "want" and "fear" is to change myself and happiness, not to make my children better and my lover better. Isn't it all the same?!
Therefore, we must remember that the process of learning love and happiness is a process of reducing desires and fears, rather than a process of achieving results. Thinking about "fruit" is "greed", and greed is the root of all evil. Only by letting go of the attachment to the outcome can we find the heart that we already have.
Third, learning love and happiness "Ming" and "Ling" have been trying to "deceive" themselves, they study hard, work hard, work hard to participate in activities, and try to kill the little black man, in fact, they hide the little black man deep in their hearts.
They are trying to change others in their own clothes.
They deeply want to change others through their own changes, and they hide this kind of thought, they don't know, they don't want to know, they don't dare to know, because changing themselves is really a difficult and painful thing.
The process of learning love and happiness is to change oneself, and through one's own change, others will change their own "internal causes" because they feel the "external causes" of our changes, so as to move towards the path of change.
Therefore, the change of others is a by-product of the real change of oneself. Here I use a "real" change, people and people, especially family members, are mind-reading, the surface changes and the heart does not change, or through the surface change to achieve the purpose of wanting others to change in the heart, it is hypocritical, and the other party can feel it.
So our secret has always been emphasizing "Don't change your own clothes, try to change others - Mr. Zheng, it's all my fault, I want to change, but why is that bastard still like that?" Mr. Zheng, I've changed everything, why hasn't he changed? "Haha, your words and deeds, your expression, and tone will betray you to change other people's hearts.
Please look inside yourself in the process of change, look inside yourself in the process of giving, and look inside until the heart that has been thinking of ways to ask for others, especially from others.
Fourth, learning love and happiness "Ming" and "Ling" have never fully believed in love and happiness, so in the process of trying to change themselves, they do not achieve results, others do not change, they will "doubt", "complain" and "re-choose", to learn other schools, in fact, learning other schools is also a particularly good way out, we raise our hands in favor, but the Tao is the same, learning other schools also need you to firmly believe, you need to practice.
Slowly, they changed from treating love and happiness as a lifesaver to treating love and happiness as chicken ribs, and finally there was really no way to return to the track of love and happiness to change themselves. This is all very normal, I remember I said: "The process of learning love and happiness is the process of you believing, because the ability to believe is the ability to love, and when you are truly confident, in fact, many problems will be solved." ”
People who don't have self-confidence don't really trust others, people who don't really trust others don't have a firm belief in things, and people who don't have a firm belief in things are not confident people. In fact, "unbelief" is normal, we slowly believe, what do we believe? In fact, what we ultimately have to believe in is ourselves, what we believe in is beauty, and what we believe in others is that only in this way will beauty and happiness accompany you.
"Ming" and "Ling" don't believe is normal, don't blame yourself and deny, don't complain and blame, we haven't been trusted since we were young, where do we get "faith". Love and happiness will always be the big tree in your heart, giving you direction, giving you shade, she is always waiting for you, whether you come or not.
"Ming" and "Ling", I love you, I feel sorry for your childhood, I pity your youth, I feel your adulthood, you are all life, you are all worthy of love, you work hard to change yourself, work hard to redeem yourself, work hard for family happiness and children's sunshine, I can see your pure heart, but the road of change is full of thorns, that is, repeatedly, ups and downs, you will not encounter these pains without these problems, now, after four years, You have embarked on a bright and broad road, "Ming" has begun to harvest happiness, "Ling" has begun to harvest warmth and strength, congratulations and blessings.
Today's article is not written for "Ming" and "Ling", today's article is for "Ming" and "Ling".
Learn love and happiness, don't be obsessed with the result, don't try to change others in the cloak of changing yourself, don't always doubt and don't believe, in fact, I know, many people can't do it when they say it, in fact, they can't do it all at once, do it slowly, get better and better, and you can reap happiness.
(End of full text)
The intellectual property rights of this article belong to Love and Happiness!