#头条创作挑战赛#
The good news of the harvest brings mixed emotions.
One netizen shared her dilemma: holding two coveted PhD offers – one from the top five universities in China and the other from one of the top 30 UK universities in the world.
The glory of this hard work made her happy at first.
However, the joy was fleeting, overwhelmed by the gushing "advice".
A relative's blunt and undisguised comment instantly broke the peace: "Still reading? Think about your age, wouldn't you be 32 after reading it? Girl, Ph.D. in liberal arts, what's good about that? Another voice followed: "It's the right thing to do on a blind date, more than 30 people, be careful of becoming a leftover girl!" ”
This is not an isolated case, but a common sentiment among relatives around us.
These remarks poured in like a tide, and even her mother, who had always supported her, began to waver under this round of offensives, and instead hoped that her daughter would enter the workplace as soon as possible, complete her marriage, and hold her grandson as soon as possible.
The brilliance of dreams is overshadowed by the worries of reality.
The joy that was once born of academic achievement was quickly replaced by the pressure of marriage and childbirth, which upset her.
Reflect calmly and stick to your inner choices.
After some deliberation, she regained her inner firmness.
She knew that this hard-won learning opportunity was of great value and should not be missed.
In the face of the turmoil of the outside world, she decided to stay true to her life blueprint and cherish the broad future represented behind each doctoral admission letter.
A heated discussion on the Internet ensued, and a post sparked countless resonances.
Netizen @Lililala broke the widespread voice in one sentence: "In this world, who can escape the palms of those troubled relatives? ”
It is true that there is no harm in exchanging opinions between relatives, provided that it is done in moderation and respect. But when accusations escalate into arrogant lessons, personal perceptions are imposed, and boundaries are crossed.
Mr. Wang Zengqi's words are still deafening:
"You may not like certain foods, but allow others to taste them, don't think you don't want them, and others should avoid them as if they were ridiculous. Why do you and me need to intervene in their happiness? ”
Unfortunately, in the evolution of the times, a trend has quietly grown-
People are increasingly inclined to judge other people's choices based on their personal values, and even to the point of articulating their own position without considering whether or not they are transgressing boundaries.
In this unconscious "guidance", they blindly emphasize obedience,
Neglect of the most important part: basic respect for the mood and feelings of others.
In the teaching of self-absorption, the delicacy and warmth of interpersonal relationships gradually drifted away.
During a daily work, a netizen encountered a delicate social problem.
She wore the beautiful Zodiac rabbit lipstick given by her mother to work that day, but unexpectedly attracted a casual or intentional comment from her colleagues: "Try not to use miscellaneous lipstick." These words made netizens feel embarrassed.
It's not just a lipstick story.
In fact, it is a mother's warm wish for her daughter's birthday, regardless of the brand, full of love.
Netizens themselves are open to cosmetics brands, and big and small brands can gladly accept it, especially this special gift.
The real problem is how to respond to this comment from a colleague.
Netizens were torn between whether to explain the meaning behind the lipstick and their own attitude towards the brand, while speculating about the meaning of their colleagues' words. These words were like an invisible rope, tightly wrapped around her heart, and it was difficult to let go.
Wilde's wisdom is particularly profound at this moment: "The essence of selfishness is not to live according to one's own will, but to force others to follow your way of life."
This sentence hits the heart of the matter precisely and makes people think deeply.
In this pluralistic world, everyone's values and choices have their own legitimacy.
What we believe may not be absolutely true, and what others insist on is not necessarily false.
As mature individuals, we should learn to respect boundaries and not easily interfere with other people's life choices, because the standards of happiness vary widely and are extremely personal.
No one can truly empathize with the lives of others.
That colleague may not have realized that an unintentional remark had caused waves in the hearts of another person.
If she knew all this, would there be a trace of remorse in her heart?
This vignette reminds us that in the subtleties of interpersonal communication, more understanding and thoughtfulness, and less unconscious judgment, may make the world more gentle and harmonious.
In a unique experiment at a publishing house, psychology experts asked editors to design a book theme that they thought would have the most market impact. Each editor's proposal reflects the current focus of his or her personal life:
- An editor who is immersed in the world of chess proposed "Deep Analysis: Master Chess Game Strategy" as his planning topic.
- The editor, who is working on obtaining a second academic title, has conceived the topic of "A Guide to Writing a Dissertation: From Beginner to Mastery".
- The editor, who is facing the challenges of marriage, shared the proposal "Dawn of Light: An Exploration of a Way Out of the Marriage Dilemma", which is close to the heart.
- The editor, whose children are about to enter kindergarten, carefully planned the topic of "Sailing the Future: Comprehensive Education Series for Preschool Children", full of maternal love and expectations.
Each topic is the culmination of life experiences and career insights, showing how a personal situation can profoundly influence creativity and focus.
Psychological research reveals a common phenomenon: people tend to look at problems from their own perspective.
This habitual mode of thinking is undoubtedly limited.
It keeps our focus on ourselves, ignoring the importance of exploring and understanding the needs and ideas of others.
On a deeper level, when we judge others based on our personal values and worldview, and criticize their behavior, we are actually missing the most basic respect for others.
We forget that everyone is an independent and diverse individual who deserves equal understanding and respect.
Here, I would like to borrow the words of wisdom from well-known bloggers:
"The outlook on life is used to broaden the horizon, not to limit judgment;
Values are used to communicate empathy, not to exclude dissent;
The worldview is used to embrace the diversity of life, not to breed prejudice. ”
May these words be a beacon of light within us and lead us forward in mutual understanding and respect.