Recently, I saw a hot search, with mixed tastes.
A couple from Changsha traveled thousands of miles to Xinjiang to take wedding photos.
Who would have thought that the two of them had an argument over trivial matters in the middle of the road.
The bridegroom-to-be left the bride-to-be in the high-speed service area and ran alone.
The man's behavior chilled the girl's heart and tore the fig leaf in the relationship.
Just like netizens commented:
"I can't imagine the situation after marrying such a person for a little thing."
Many times, people are often attracted to a certain aspect of the other person's charm, thinking that that is the future of life.
In fact, choosing a person is not only to look at his "highlight moment", but also to look at his low place.
A man's appearance at a low place often reflects the real human nature, and it also determines the temperature of the marriage in the future to a large extent.
The attitude when there is a disagreement reflects the self-cultivation
"Whether the relationship is good or not, you can see if you quarrel."
A sentence that I once didn't care about, now I have a deep understanding.
In life, when two different people come together, there will inevitably be bumps.
Those healthy intimate relationships will also have conflicts and disputes, but different ways of dealing with them are often doomed to different endings.
In the variety show "Wonderful Story", debater Zang Hongfei shared his emotional experience.
At first, he thought that there must be a right and wrong between lovers.
So every time he has a disagreement with his girlfriend, he will try his best to prove that he is right.
As a result, the more he talked, the more fierce the two quarreled.
There were even several times when the two could quarrel from the night before to noon the next day.
Until the two of them were so tired that they collapsed to the ground, their mouths were full of rubbing, and they couldn't distinguish between the long and the short.
In the end, in addition to venting, the two were abusive, not only did they not resolve their differences, but the rift in their relationship deepened day by day.
How can the deadlock be broken?
After thinking about it again and again, Zang Hongfei decided to no longer face Mai Mang, but took the initiative to give in and withdraw from the "battlefield".
Unexpectedly, after he turned off the fire, his girlfriend was no longer dead, and the differences between the two were easily resolved.
In an intimate relationship, if you have to be angry, it will only make the contradictions more and more intense, and the feelings will be more and more noisy.
And those lovers who can't break up know that:
Take a step back, the sea is wide and the sky is high;
Calm down and turn into jade silk.
I remembered a hot question I read on the Internet:
"At what point did you suddenly decide that you could stay with this person for the rest of your life?"
There is an answer in the comment area, which is very impressive so far:
After a quarrel, my boyfriend made a table of dinner and said:
'Let's eat first, and when you're full, you have the strength to continue scolding me.' ’
At that moment, he touched me, and I identified with him. ”
What really resolves differences is never the answer to the question, but the attitude in the face of the difference.
A well-cultivated spouse will not compete with each other when his emotions are intense, let alone judge his or her strengths and weaknesses when he is at a stalemate.
It's about attitude first, emotion last, and use actions to tell each other:
No matter how angry we are, we are still us, and the person I care about the most is you.
No matter how different our opinions are, we are not opposing opponents, but comrades-in-arms side by side.
The perseverance in the trough period exposes the character
Activist Martin Luther King Jr. once said:
"A man is not measured by where he stands when he is comfortable and well;
It's about where he stands in times of difficulty and controversy. ”
When everything is as good as life should be, everyone can be gentle and simple.
When embarrassed and frustrated, a man's reaction to something often shows his true character and cultivation.
Actor Liu Qingyun, the "dark horse prince" in the film and television industry, is deeply liked by the audience.
Many people were impressed by his superb acting skills and dedicated attitude.
In fact, for a long time, Liu Qingyun was just an unknown actor.
He once recalled that at that time, many crews came to him to play the bad guy just because of his looks.
And even if you get a role, many times you don't have a line for a whole day.
Although he is at a low point, Liu Qingyun is not impetuous or anxious, but calms down and polishes himself.
In his spare time, he often goes to the library, immersed in a sea of books to renew his cognition and open his horizons.
On the set, although he only played a small role with him, he took the initiative to figure out and learn from other people's performances, and carried paper notes with him to write down his feelings.
The perseverance at the low place and the self-discipline at the low tide continue to accumulate energy for his subsequent efforts.
His spirit was also seen and remembered by his wife Guo Aiming.
Even though the outside world is generally not optimistic about the marriage of the two, she firmly declares:
"There is only love and no love, no deserving or unworthy; Liu Qingyun will definitely do a lot. ”
Finally, with the film and television drama "The Great Era", Liu Qingyun gradually began to become famous.
To date, he has been nominated for the Academy Awards 16 times and won the title of Best Actor twice.
正所谓:
"Embarrassment of what they do not do, poverty of what they do not take."
A man's best conduct is not the bright flowers and willows when the spring breeze is proud, but the determination to forge ahead when he is embarrassed and frustrated.
Even if the first half of his life is not satisfactory, he never gives up easily, but works hard to precipitate and prepare for development.
Even if you are in an embarrassing quagmire, you will never go with the flow, but seize hope, and continue to take root and grow upward.
Such a man deserves to be around.
After being proud, choose and see the pattern clearly
I don't know if you have also noticed:
In life, there are many feelings that can withstand the wind and rain, but they can't withstand the prosperity.
Some people say that people's hearts are changeable and their original intentions are difficult to keep;
Some people also say that feelings are easy to fade and fate is easy to disperse.
Not really.
A few days ago, I saw an interview and was quite touched.
A man who abandoned his wife and children, and after being cheated out of all his money, reluctantly asked his emotional mentor:
"Men like to be surrounded by young women, don't you?"
"Yes, definitely when I was younger."
The emotional mentor said calmly:
"But as I've gotten older, I've learned to be introverted and I've learned to control myself."
There's no denying that life is full of temptations.
A man with a small pattern only sees himself, even if he has made a little achievement at the moment, he will eventually get lost in the whirlpool of life.
And the man who is truly sober is smooth but not floating, full but not full;
If you have a big picture, you can also live a good life.
In the early years, the writer Mo Yan became famous overnight because of the novel "Red Sorghum", and many suitors came to him.
At that time, Mo Yan lived alone in Beijing, and his wife stayed in her hometown to take care of her parents.
After learning that his wife only had a primary school education and was a slightly chubby, rustic rural housewife;
A young and beautiful female fan persevered in confessing to Mo Yan, and even said that she was willing to be his confidante for life.
But Mo Yan was unmoved, and refused solemnly:
"The fit of the soul has nothing to do with knowledge and status, my wife and I have love, and we don't change our daughters."
Then, Mo Yan took his wife to Beijing.
Whenever he went out, he took his wife's hand and generously introduced him.
The wife who stayed with him also brought Mo Yan a lot of creative inspiration.
As Mo Yan himself said:
"In this family, my wife has contributed more than me."
The pursuit of freshness is human instinct, but grasping the balance is the choice of the wise.
As the old saying goes:
"A humble gentleman, humble and self-shepherding."
Zhang Yang will only waste the years, and only by keeping himself can he grow steadily.
A truly wise gentleman, when he is proud:
Even if there is a desire in the heart, there will be a stop;
Even if there are many temptations, they will abide by the rules.
A man who can keep his original intention is calm and calm in his heart, and he is more worthy of being with him for a lifetime.
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There is a line in "Do You Know It, It Should Be Green, Fat, Red and Thin":
"To see whether a person is a good match, you can't look at how he usually treats you, but how he treats you in extreme situations."
When the years are quiet, it is difficult to see the flowers in the fog and the moon in the water.
Therefore, a sober-minded woman must know how to listen to her words in the subtleties and observe her deeds in the smallest detail:
When there is a disagreement, hold your breath;
When embarrassed, keep the bottom line;
After being proud, don't forget your original intention.
A man with these qualities is a good match worthy of life.