I'm warming your words with words, click the blue button above to follow me.
Yesterday, I received a request for help from a reader, saying that he is usually a very emotionally stable person, but as soon as he starts to fall in love, he will become emotionally unstable.
Because of the other party's words, they will think crankily for a long time, and because the other party is not enthusiastic enough, they will begin to suffer from gains and losses, because of this relationship, they will lose themselves and can't do anything.
At first, the other party may be willing to coax, but after a long time, the other party will be annoyed. Because of the change of the other party, she will be more painful and struggling, and in such a vicious circle, the relationship between the two people will come to an end.
If it's just a man like this, she may not doubt herself, but many relationships are like this, and she can't help but wonder if there is something wrong with her.
Listening to her plea for help, I felt as if I saw a little girl with a fragile heart, struggling to be happy, she longed for security from love, but became more insecure because of it.
In fact, there is nothing wrong with this girl, and she is not necessarily the wrong person, she just doesn't know how to manage her feelings and adjust her attitude towards feelings.
If this is the case for you, then be sure to take a look at these five reasons that I have analyzed for you, and I hope it can really help you make a difference.
Caring too much about the other person leads to a loss of confidence in yourself
If you think that you are usually a very confident person, but you become less confident as soon as you enter a relationship, then you have to think about it, do you really care too much about the other person?
In other words, you suffer from gains and losses because of the fear of losing, and because you are afraid of the other person leaving, you constantly deny yourself, so that you lose confidence and start to have emotional instability.
I understand that when you meet someone you really like, the urge to want to live a lifetime can make you very entangled and miserable, which is normal.
But you must know that love is like sand in your hands, the tighter you hold it, the faster it will disappear, and you must learn to control the strength so that you don't let yourself fall into pain.
If you can, analyze the strengths and weaknesses of yourself and the other party, no one is perfect, you don't give each other such an aura, be sensible, you will understand that he is not necessarily the most suitable person, and you don't need to be so painful.
It's best to manage this relationship easily if you can have the desired outcome, but if not, please continue to love yourself.
Expectations of love and each other are too high
Some girls have very high expectations for love, hoping that the other party understands themselves, hopes that the other party is full of themselves, and hopes that the other party will be with them all the time.
This expectation may come true when you are in love, but once you get out of the love period, the man will start to get bored and stay away, and you will suspect that the other party has changed.
But my dear, the other person may not have changed, it's just that your expectations for love and this person are too high. No one in this world can be with anyone forever, and our sense of security should not come from others.
To understand this problem, you have to tell yourself that it is not right to put love first in life, we should love ourselves more, and we should also learn to rely on ourselves.
Trust me, if you adjust your expectations a little, you will be happier and more grounded.
The heart is more fragile and lacks love
We all know that girls who lack love in their hearts are easily hurt in their relationships, because they are too eager to be loved, so once they enter a relationship, they will devote themselves wholeheartedly and do not leave themselves a little room to retreat.
But my dear, not everyone can bear your affection, and not everyone can always catch your fragile emotions.
You have to make yourself strong before you can meet better people and really control your feelings.
Strong, independent, and sober are really the premise for a woman to love and be loved, give yourself more support, and it is also a guarantee that you can manage your relationship well.
Therefore, if you are always in a vicious circle in a relationship, then you should think carefully about whether you should not rush into a relationship, but should make yourself strong first.
There are a lot of girls around me who are like this, and when they really become stronger, they won't be so entangled in love anymore, so you might as well try it.
There will be no positive communication
This reader of mine says he has a big problem, which is that he is very screwed. Obviously thinking about one thing in his heart, he didn't say it directly, but let the other party guess.
But ah, it is always difficult for the other party to guess what she wants, so she is often angry and sad, and the other party will also feel inexplicable.
There are really a lot of girls like this, and they always want to use this method to prove that the other party loves them very much, which is actually a sign of lack of self-confidence.
But my dear, everyone's thinking is really different, especially men, and it's really hard for them to guess what women are thinking. At such times, when you get angry, the other party also feels inexplicable, in fact, it is hurting your feelings.
If you can, learn to communicate positively, say what you want, and let the other person understand, so that you can really gauge whether the other person really loves you.
Moreover, positive communication will make your relationship better, you will know if you try it.
Often caught in internal friction
In the process of chatting with this reader of mine, I found that she is a person who is very prone to internal friction, obviously the other party did not say anything, but she has already made up a big drama in her brain.
In fact, it is easy to hurt yourself by doing this, because those unwarranted things will only make your emotions more and more unstable.
If you want to solve this problem, making yourself strong is one way, and if you can't do it in a short period of time, then make your life full first.
For example, you can make more friends, learn a new skill, or go on a trip or enjoy food, all of which will make you let go of the entanglement of love for a while.
In short, it is to keep yourself busy, and pay and work hard for people and things other than love.
If you want to make yourself more emotionally stable in your relationship, you have to analyze these five reasons.
Remember, make yourself strong, you will become stable, let feelings be a less important part of life, and you will feel happy and joyful.
I hope every girl can be loved well, but I also hope that you can really love yourself.