#海外华人##留学故事##创业故事##德国男友##德国工作##跨国爱情#
This is the 3,843rd true story we have told
I was born in Shandong, my hometown, and my parents were very strict with me since I was a child, especially my academic performance, and my hobbies were forbidden.
I liked to draw and wanted to take the path of art, but I was rejected by my father. So, I lived under pressure all the time and hid my true thoughts.
After the college entrance examination, they asked me to fill in the nursing major, just because this major is easy to get a job, but this is not what I wanted. I always wanted to change my life, and by chance I met a study abroad agent and went to Germany.
In Germany, at first, I was also a nurse, and I didn't even know it until I was depressed, until my German boyfriend woke me up and took me to the doctor.
He said don't be afraid, depression is not a big deal, this is an opportunity for progress. With his help, I was able to get out of my depression, go from being a nurse to a photographer, and finally doing the job I had dreamed of and living the life I wanted.
(My husband and I)
My name is Gong Qianyu, I was born in Yantai, Shandong Province in 1997, and I am 27 years old this year.
When I was a child, my parents seemed to me to be warm and easy-going and helpful, but only I knew that they were very strict with me. They valued my studies very much, often forced me to do my homework, and even sat next to me.
As the only daughter in the family, she has been instilled by her parents since she was a child with the concept of "everything is inferior, only reading is high".
Actually, I've always been very independent, but I don't like to express myself very much. It's not that I can't express it, but because my parents are very strict, and many times when I say what I really think, they will murder me. Gradually, I had to hide myself.
When I was in middle school, I was very good at handwriting, and my teacher gave me a "calligraphy star" certificate and suggested that my mother enroll me in a calligraphy class, but I didn't like to learn calligraphy. I don't like what I do, they ask me to do it, I can't do it, and my grades have been mediocre.
(When I first arrived in Germany)
My grandfather was very good at drawing, and he used to paint door frames for people, which won a lot of praise from the locals. Dad inherited his grandfather's artistic cells, and he was gifted since he was a child, and he could draw without anyone to teach him.
At that time, the teacher suggested that he go to the art school, and even found his family to persuade him, but he did not agree. The grandparents didn't force him, so it was over. But it turns out that my father has been regretting his choice all his life.
Many times, most of the pits that parents have stepped on will prevent their children from falling into it again, but my dad is not like this.
One day, I said to him expectantly, "Dad, I want to study art." "He asked me to draw a picture for him to see. After painting, he took a look at it and said, "This is the level of a primary school student, you don't have this kind of wisdom." ”
(University years)
Well, even if I don't have talent, I'm interested. He and his mother asked me to continue studying and take the college entrance examination.
After all, Shandong is a big province for the college entrance examination, and it is not easy to study along the way. And I've never been too interested in exams, and I've been quietly trying to find ways to do what I love.
When I was in high school, I loved writing essays. The teacher often used my essay as a model essay for me to read in front of the class. At that time, I knew that I had strengths and talents, but I didn't dig into them well.
After the college entrance examination, my parents were very realistic and asked me to study nursing, so that I could find a job after graduation. Once again, I followed their arrangement and enrolled in the nursing department.
When I went to school, I realized that it was a pity to fill in the nursing bachelor's degree. With my grades at that time, I could have studied languages or the major I was interested in, but I didn't have a choice.
In my heart, I long for freedom, to be able to do what I want to do, to live the life I want to live. So all along, although I looked easy-going on the outside, I wasn't happy on the inside.
When I was in college, I finally didn't have to be controlled by my parents every day, and I began to pursue what I longed for. In my spare time, I often go to activities, hang out with my roommates, and take a lot of photos.
(My first job)
Every time I take a photo, my classmates praise me for my good composition, and the photos I take are very different from others. Only I know that photography and painting are interconnected. I do feel the same for this and love it.
At that time, I didn't know any technical terms in photography, so I started researching photography intuitively.
Later, at an event, I met a staff member of a study abroad agency and came up with the idea of studying in Germany, so I started to teach German on my own.
But when I graduated from college, the pandemic began. In that case, my parents didn't support me going abroad at all. I got a job in a clinical trial in China. At the same time, I continued to study every day and finally passed the German B1 exam.
After working for two years, I really didn't want to waste any more time, and I really wanted to change the environment quickly, so I gritted my teeth and took the first step and took all the money I had saved in the past two years to go abroad.
When I arrived in Germany, in order to make a living, I first looked for a job related to nursing, working as a nurse in a hospital.
At that time, my German was not very good, and sometimes I would be called by my colleagues at work, and I would also be called by sick people, which was very aggrieved, but I couldn't speak.
After a while, I learned to resist. Whoever says nasty things, or asks me to do something I shouldn't do, I'll push back.
(Me and my German colleague)
Once, a colleague who got along well asked me to go to Cologne, and she wanted to go to the camera store to pick up something, which happened to be something I was interested in, so I went with her.
At the photographic equipment store, the owner is introducing a German boy to Sony's latest camera, which is very expensive. My colleague and I leaned over to listen with envy on our faces.
We found out if the boy was choosing equipment for the company or a professional in photography. We chatted and left contact information. And just like that, we got to know each other.
Later, I learned that he was also a maverick, and he was used to seeing European faces, and when he saw me, an Oriental, his eyes lit up. He told me that he fell in love with me at first sight.
At that time, the most important thing in my mind was whether to go to school or not, and I didn't have the energy to focus on my feelings. I'm not a love brain, and I always feel that I should take care of myself first. Maybe my behavior is exactly what he wants, because he likes independent and capable girls.
After getting along for a while, he became my boyfriend.
Emotional progress has been made, but work is still not happy. Every day I am not satisfied with my life, I can't raise my interest from morning to night, and I always feel that I am living at the bottom of society.
During that time, I was very sensitive and uncomfortable physically and mentally. When I work, I care a lot about how much I do, whether my colleagues discriminate against me, and whether there is unfairness. I don't sleep well at night, and I always overthink.
(Leisure time)
After struggling for a while, I wanted to return to China, so I had the idea of resigning.
I told my boyfriend about the idea and haven't heard back from him for a long time. We were more than 300 kilometers away at the time, I was in the village near Cologne, he was near Heidelberg. What I didn't know was that he got my message and immediately went to buy a ticket.
However, due to the impromptu decision, I didn't buy a suitable ticket, and I changed trains several times to get to my last station in the small village. Unfortunately, he didn't catch the last bus and made a stop to me.
Seeing me, he panted and said, "I haven't had time to eat before I came to you." ”
I was surprised to see him, and I was stunned and said, "I didn't eat either." ”
He cooked instant noodles and we ate them together. When he finished eating, he suddenly looked at me and said seriously: "I don't think the story should develop like this, I want to marry you, you know......"
After saying that, he took out his bank card and told me the password.
(The Eyes of Each Other)
I was stunned at that moment. How can he understand me so well, although I said before that the marriage property should be borne together, but when he did this, I was indeed moved, soothed, and had an inexplicable sense of security.
I actually met the legendary love? I was moved to tears and accepted his proposal immediately.
But what I didn't expect was that when I woke up the next day, I seemed to be drunk and said to him, "I'm sorry, I didn't think seriously yesterday, I don't really want to get married." ”
Hearing this, he was petrified on the spot and couldn't say a word.
Looking at his incredulous expression, I felt as if I had given him a slap in the face, and I felt a strong pang of pain and remorse, as if I had ruined our sweetness.
I hurriedly said: "I just feel that I should live independently, I have a lot of ways to go, I can go to school, I can go back to China." I don't want to use marriage as a lifesaver. Besides, your proposal wasn't what I thought it was, no rings, no records, or when I was so low......"
(We register the marriage)
He tried to persuade me, but I continued to talk about it. In the end, he said aggrievedly: "What did I do wrong, don't you want to marry me?" I love you, you know, right? ”
I didn't give him a clear answer, and we parted. I went to work that afternoon.
Our days went back to the way they were, and we were busy and sent messages to each other every day. During that time, my anxiety seemed to have eased somewhat, but I was still unhappy, and I felt that everything was boring and uninteresting.
Until one day, I received a message from him: "Let's meet." ”
I wonder if I'm going to break up. So, I did a good job of psychological construction for myself: let him be divided or not, after all, he is a good man, and he has the right to make a choice when I "regret marriage" like this.
After meeting, I didn't expect him to say a word about the breakup, but said, "I'll take you to see a psychiatrist." ”
"Huh?" I was taken aback.
"I think you might be depressed. But don't be afraid, there are a lot of people in Germany who get this disease, it's nothing, you're just at a low point now, but that's how people are, you need bad days to get better. It's an opportunity for change. I know how to fight depression and I will stay there for you. ”
(Learning Photography)
I was so shocked that I couldn't say a word. Later, we registered to see a doctor together, and the doctor's diagnosis was indeed as he said, and he prescribed medicine for me.
We studied the side effects of the medicine for a long time, and then I said, "I don't want to take it." He looked at me, paused for two seconds and said, "Okay, then don't eat it yet, you decide." ”
"Thank you." "It's nothing."
I silently said in my heart, when I fell, you pulled me, then I must get up by myself. I won't let myself be so low forever, and I won't let myself lose you!
After that, I also understood my boyfriend's thoughts. He really wanted to marry me, and he thought that I was having trouble with my visa, so he proposed to get married, so that he could help me solve my troubles.
I told him that it wasn't like that, that it was purely that the work was boring, and that it wasn't the life I wanted.
In the end, I quit my job. He would sometimes take me to their company events. I was also very cooperative, thinking of doing something inspirational and not being depressed. At the same time, I also passed the B2 and C1 exams in German.
(Parents of both sides meet)
My boyfriend thinks I'm very smart and hardworking, and I can pass such a difficult exam in one go while working, and I appreciate it very much. He said: "You are so smart, you make me feel very mysterious, and you passed the test without much effort." You can definitely learn photography! ”
He gave me a brand new device straight out and introduced me to a newlywed couple.
At that time, their company needed a photographer, and the equipment company came out, so I was independently responsible for following the bride. When I heard this proposal, I was secretly surprised: "Can I do it?" "I was a little bit of a retreat.
My boyfriend made an appointment with the couple to meet at the café and showed them my work, and they appreciated it very much, saying, "I think you did a very good job, just do it in a natural style, you can do it." ”
I thought they would refuse me to be in charge of filming, but I didn't expect people to encourage me so much and recognize me.
Later, every day I went out to collect scenes, practiced framing and taking pictures, and fought hard. The boyfriend said, "There's no need to fight so hard, you can definitely do it." ”
(Learning Photography)
He's like that, always approving of me and thinking I'm smart and cute. He's usually relaxed, and I'm a little more nervous than he is, because I want to be able to solve problems on my own instead of relying on anyone. Although he entered the industry earlier than me and is better than me, we are equal, and I won't ask him basic questions, but we all go to the Internet to search and learn by myself.
Later, before I knew it, I relied on photography to break my depression and live more and more happily. I understand that if you can do what you like, you won't be depressed.
A few months later, he officially proposed to me.
After I got married, I had two options, I could go to graduate school or start a business with my husband. I chose to start my own business. In the past two years, my photography skills have continued to improve, and my photography works have been recognized by customers.
I finally did what I loved, and finally understood that life is a process of understanding myself, and I forgave my father. I love the way I'm now.
I want to tell everyone: people still have to conform to their own nature, and they can't suppress themselves. Do whatever you like. What you like, most likely is where your talent lies. Everyone is born with a job. And where your bowl of rice is, your "preferences" know best.
(Welcome to "Qianyu's Life")
[Dictation: Gong Qianyu]
[Editor: An Painter]
We can't experience different lives, but we can feel different life trajectories here, every photo here is a bit of life, every story is a real life, if you also like it, please click to follow! @真实人物采访
(*This article is based on the oral statements of the parties, and the authenticity is the responsibility of the oral narrator.) Friendly reminder from this account: Please identify the relevant risks by yourself, and do not blindly follow the trend to make impulsive decisions. ）