Preface
Every Monday, Love and Happiness will excerpt the highlights of Mr. Zheng Wei's live class last week and share them with you.
Today, we continue to share the 117th lecture of the live class: The person who stands at the top of the pyramid must be the most self-disciplined person!
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Tonight, we're going to talk about self-discipline.
In my 115th issue, "How can Chinese young people develop self-discipline?" We talked about "what is self-discipline", and today we mainly talk about "how to develop self-discipline".
[Recommended reading: How do Chinese youth develop self-discipline?] Teacher Zheng Wei's live Q&A lecture 115]
"Cultivation", as long as it needs to be "raised", is it slow, right?
Let me first ask you a question: Why do people have initiative, and where is the source of their motivation?
This question is particularly important, just as the car is running fast or not depends on the engine, to explain self-discipline clearly, we must talk about power and power source.
People have two power sources: one is the power source of desire based on fear, and the other is the power source of belief based on true love.
Like what:
- "Because I was afraid that my parents would be dissatisfied with me because of my bad grades, I had to study hard." This is a powerhouse of fear-based desire.
- "Because I love to draw, I get up early every day and study painting at night." This is the power of faith driven by true love.
These two sources of power do not appear at the same time, but they do exist in our bodies at the same time.
Nowadays, there are a lot of courses on self-discipline on the Internet, which are not self-discipline, but a kind of self-control, or even self-abuse.
For example:
Many successful people, get up early every day, never arrive late and leave early, work all out, and have a special plan, he runs at high speed like a machine, and can do a lot of things that ordinary people can't do, we will think that is called self-discipline.
Some people say that "if you develop a habit, you are self-disciplined", but that is not necessarily.
People who have not become a habit of running a marathon will feel uncomfortable and even addicted if they don't run!
I think that forcing oneself to complete the set standards or reach a state is a kind of self-control, and excessive compulsion is called self-abuse.
So, we score clearly.
The motivation for self-discipline is generated from the inside out, while the motivation from the outside in may be self-discipline, self-control, or self-abuse.
In order to be able to explain what true self-discipline is, I just took a blank piece of paper and wrote down a few words that flashed in my mind. Look:
Words that are driven by desire and fear are: conceit, masochism, self-control, otherness, and lawlessness.
Words that use true love as the driving force are: self-lightness, self-love, self-awareness, self-discipline, and ease.
Lawlessness is called "self-willedness". People who do not have self-discipline are often undisciplined people and self-willed people.
He is called "passive observance", and he is not willing to obey it in his heart, but only obeys it superficially.
The law of others is very terrible, and when the "law of others" does not work, it enters "lawlessness", and passive observance becomes an active "willful self".
Therefore, there are too many rotten, rebellious, and lying children in college now. They have been "disciplined" by their parents for many years, and when they reach college, when their parents are unable to "discipline themselves", they enter a state of "lawlessness".
Of course, we adults are the same, we behave very well in front of outsiders, and we are very willful when we get home. For example: a woman throws a tantrum at home; Men run away at home, retreat, and don't take responsibility.
Everyone remembers one sentence: those who are disciplined do not have self-discipline, and those who are self-disciplined do not need other discipline.
Self-control, called "striving to achieve", a person wants to achieve a certain goal and result, he controls himself, that is, he disciplines himself.
When the effort is not attainable, the effort is not attainable, or the effort is not achieved, self-control is wrong.
So "self-control" is a lot like "self-discipline".
Self-abuse, called "excessive (excessive) demand".
A masochist will think that he is particularly self-disciplined, and at the same time he will either demand too much from his loved ones, or he will demand too much from his loved ones.
Conceited, called "ruthless machine".
The conceited person insists that "I am right" and does not listen to anyone.
Lawlessness, other law, self-control, masochism, and conceit, these are the 5 words that use desire as the driving force.
So, what is true self-discipline?
Self-lightness is "harmless honesty", and I also call such people Buddhist people. People are very kind, but there is no power source, and living one day is a day, and the days are mixed.
Self-love is "the flow of true feelings", not "loving yourself" as the Western body, mind and soul say.
When people have the flow of true feelings, they will have the feeling of "I can love myself and I can love others", and then, "I have to do something meaningful, otherwise I will look down on myself." "The power of love within is brought out. In Chinese culture, it is called "shame and courage".
Consciousness is the "practice of culture".
Enlightenment means awakening. "I can't live in desires and fears like animals, I want to awaken, I want to learn culture, I want to be a civilized person".
Only the awakened person can produce self-discipline.
Self-discipline is the "ideal state".
I think the most important thing in being a human being is self-discipline.
Because self-disciplined people have firm ideals and beliefs, live in the law, pursue in the law, and live in the law meaningfully. This state is the most ideal state for man.
Freedom is "the perfect self".
Freedom is the highest state of being a man, "I" can be with myself, but also with heaven and earth nature, "I" is a complete and sufficient person, heaven and man are one.
Let's put these words in a row, with a life where true love is the driving force on the right and a life that is the power of desire based on fear on the left. We can see what kind of state our life has reached.
Now, let's talk about how to develop self-discipline?
The first step is to understand what true self-discipline is (not to be confused with self-discipline, self-control, and self-abuse).
If you look up "what is self-discipline" on the Internet, you will find that there are too many general words or wrong concepts.
Therefore, it is only through comparison that we can truly understand the true meaning of self-discipline.
The second step, self-love: it arises in the flow of true feelings.
The "self-love" mentioned here is different from "loving oneself", and the self-love of the Chinese is generated in the flow of true feelings, which in turn produces love.
The third step is self-awareness: learn to practice culture and explore the meaning of life.
When Chinese have love in true love, there will be a voice in their hearts, "I want to be the same as the person who loves me".
At this time, you will start to think, "Why am I alive?" Why am I alive? And the answer to all of this is in culture. If you learn to practice the culture, you will slowly awaken yourself.
The fourth step is to trust and integrate into the positive people and environment.
Self-discipline is not easy to cultivate, so trusting and integrating into a positive group and environment can make people stick in the right direction.
The fifth step is to do subtraction and throw away what doesn't belong to you.
The cultivation of true self-discipline is not to strive to make oneself better, but to constantly look inside oneself and throw away the things that do not belong to oneself that are happy, beautiful, and bright.
Throw away selfish desires, fears, jealousies, run away, withdraw...... and other negative emotions.
The process of throwing away is the process that arises naturally from self-discipline.
The sixth step is to go all out in the right direction of life.
The motivation of self-discipline comes from "determination", so that you can walk in the right direction of life, and self-discipline is generated in the process of determination.
Therefore, if you go all out in the right direction of life, you will have self-discipline.
Today, I have finished the topic of self-discipline and seriously answered the question of "how to develop self-discipline".
Regarding self-discipline and the cultivation of self-discipline, I have also searched on the Internet, and many of them talk about the concept of self-discipline, how to control themselves, how to abuse themselves, and even tell parents how to discipline their children.
I want to remind everyone: please don't confuse self-discipline with masochism and self-control, and don't use other methods to let children develop self-discipline, otherwise you may be empty!
Finally, I wish everyone can develop self-discipline, because only self-discipline can be truly wonderful!
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