These words would rather rot in the stomach than say them to the child again

Ting Ma Alan

2024-05-13 17:31Posted in Guangdong parenting field creators

Hello everyone, I'm Ting's mother

Since the parent-teacher conference, Tingting has been in a bad mood these days.

Tingting is in her second year of junior high school, and she is about to take the entrance examination in the place of birth, and next year will be the high school entrance examination, which are very important nodes in her student career. Truth be told, it's impossible to be completely stressed.

Sometimes, when I look at her so much pressure, I can't say anything, I just silently accompany her to do my homework, and when I encounter questions that I don't understand, she will ask me.

Because I know that on the road of parenting, the words of parents have an immeasurable influence. Not all words are beneficial to a child's development.

Some words, even well-intentioned, can cause invisible damage to a child's self-esteem, self-confidence, and creativity.

Here are some things we should avoid when educating our children, and we can use some more scientific ways of communicating.

1. "How can you be so stupid! ”

Such words that demean a child's intelligence can seriously damage a child's self-esteem. Children who have been evaluated in this way for a long time may gradually lose interest in learning and even lose confidence in themselves.

We should be specific about our children's mistakes on an issue and encourage them to work hard to correct them. For example: "You got this math problem wrong, let's see what went wrong." ”

2. "You'll never learn!" ”

This kind of absolutist rhetoric can make children feel hopeless, thinking that no matter how hard they try, they can't change the status quo.

We should believe in our children's potential and give them room to grow. It can be said that "everyone learns at a different pace, and as long as you don't give up, you will always learn." ”

3. "Look at others, how good the results are!" ”

Many parents can't help but compare their children with other people's children, but they don't know that comparing will only make children feel that they are not good enough, and it will destroy the relationship between parents and children.

Each child has their own characteristics and development rhythm, and we should give encouragement according to the actual situation of the child. For example: "I see that you are improving in this class, keep working hard and you will do better." ”

4. "Your task now is to study, don't worry about anything else!" ”

Although learning is important, overemphasizing it can cause children to lose sight of other important aspects of life, such as interpersonal interactions, hobbies, etc.

We should encourage children to develop holistically, and we can say, "In addition to studying, your hobbies are also important and can make your life more colorful." ”

5. "I'm doing this for your own good!" ”

This statement can sometimes make children feel stressed and constrained because they may not understand their parents' painstaking efforts.

We should communicate openly with our children, explain our considerations, and listen to our children's opinions. For example: "I set this time to go home because I was worried about your safety, do you think this rule is reasonable?" ”

6. "If you do this again, Mom/Dad won't like you anymore!" ”

This emotional threat can make children feel insecure and affect their emotional development.

We should guide our children's behavior in a positive way, not in exchange for love. Say something like, "I know you didn't mean it, but it's not right to do it, let's find a better solution together." ”

7. "You have to be the best!" ”

This high expectation can put a lot of stress on children and make them afraid of failure.

We should encourage children to do their best instead of chasing unrealistic goals. It can be said: "Do your best and that's enough, and we'll all be proud of you." ”

Summary:

In communication with our children, our words should be filled with love and support, not criticism and pressure.

Through positive verbal motivation and reasonable expectations, we can help children build self-confidence, stimulate their potential, and promote their all-round development.

Remember, there are some words that you would rather rot in your stomach than say them, because the future and mental health of children are far more important than momentary words.

(The picture is from the network, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)

I am @婷momalan, a nationally certified nursery teacher, family education lecturer, committed to sharing parenting experience in small stories, welcome to follow me, and accompany children to grow up together.

View original image 30K

• 

• 

• 

• 

•