Teacher Lu Qin, an education expert, once said:
"A child's growth is as much a need for space as it needs air. Give your child some personal space and keep them a secret. Talk to your kids and hear what they have to say! "Imagine the health threat of a sandstorm, but you know what? The sandstorm of the mind could be even more terrifying. It makes our living space bigger, but the child's inner growth space is smaller; Our dwellings are spacious, but the children's minds are crowded; The pressure from the outside world is great, but the child's inner motivation is gradually weakening.
Every parent loves their child deeply, but some parents love their child too much to be independent. They arrange everything for their children, but they forget to teach them to take care of themselves. For your child to grow up naturally, give them some freedom to experience what true love means.
Many parents think that they need to worry about everything about their children. Children are like their private property, and they want to arrange everything for them. But is that really right?
Story 1:
A boy complained in QQ Zone: "I really hate my mother, she always interferes with me, peeks at my diary, turns on my computer, and asks me about my secrets." I even have to care about what I wear, what I eat, and what I do on the weekend......"
He felt like he had been violated, and even wanted to shout at his mother, "You go away!" ”
Story 2:
Lately, Dongdong has often spent half an hour or more alone in his room, sometimes playing with toys, sometimes in a daze, and more often reading a book. He always locks the door. At first I thought he wanted to turn on the air conditioner or play games with me, but then it turned out that it wasn't.
I respect his choice and no longer force him to open the door. Every time I would knock on the door and get his permission to go in. At one point he said, "The door is not locked, come in." I told him, "Whether the door is locked or not, I'll knock first and ask for your permission." "He looked very happy.
After reading these two stories, how do parents feel?
Children need their own time and space to grow and be independent. As a parent, don't get angry when you find out that your child wants to have their own "territory". It could just be part of his physical, bedroom, social, or emotional life. If he likes to read magazines in his bedroom, don't tell anyone else.
Children who crave privacy just want to have a separate space, not necessarily because they want to hide something.
While parents and teachers provide a privileged environment for their children, there are very few "private" spaces that are truly for children. Experts recommend giving children some free space so that their personalities can be better developed.
My advice for young parents
Method 1: Give the boy a small world of independence
Adolescent boys have their own ideas and opinions, and they no longer want their parents to worry about them. Therefore, we must respect them and give them a little world of their own. For example, give them a separate room and remember to knock on the door before entering. This way, they will be able to have their own private space to store their favorite things. In addition, you can also give them a locked journal and let them write down their little secrets, which is also a sign of respect and trust in them.
Method 2: Let the boy make his own ideas
Some parents like to arrange everything for their children, but this is not good. We should teach boys to make their own decisions, especially during adolescence. They should have their own rights to take care of their own affairs, such as choosing a school, deciding what to eat, etc. Of course, we also have to give them guidance and advice, but the final decision is up to them. You'll find that they might do a great job, even more than you think!
If you think this is a good suggestion, please like it and leave a comment! You are also welcome to share your own good methods, and we will communicate and learn together to help children grow better!