"At the wedding banquet, the dishes are stacked on top of each other. In the end, even a third of the dishes on the table were not eaten, and many dishes were not moved with chopsticks. The guests are gone, and the dishes are still unfinished, what a waste. Thinking of the situation when she attended a friend's wedding during this year's "May Day" holiday, Ms. Meng, a citizen of Qinhuangdao, Hebei Province, said with emotion.
It is a traditional custom for newlyweds to set up a few tables of good wine and food to entertain relatives and friends. But nowadays, this custom has gradually changed its flavor in some places - comparison, expensive, wasteful. The cumbersome wedding steps and the wedding cost of hundreds of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of yuan at every turn make many young people call "the pressure is great" and "they can't afford the wedding".
According to a special survey conducted by the Population and Development Research Center of Renmin University of Chinese from July to September 2023, the average cost of marriage is as high as 330,400 yuan, which is more than eight times the per capita disposable income of residents in 2023 (39,200 yuan).
The interviewed experts pointed out that the problem of wedding banquet waste has been cured for a long time, not only due to traditional cultural factors, but also affected by bad social practices, as well as the lack of related services in the catering industry. It is suggested to improve village rules and conventions, promote the change of customs, establish a new trend of marriage customs and etiquette, and guide the masses to save the cost of weddings.
Waste at weddings
A large number of dishes were left untouched and only a small portion was packed
Planning a wedding often involves two generations of the newlyweds and their parents.
Mr. Wu, 32, held his wedding in October last year. Mr. Wu is from a small city in Inner Mongolia, and because his place of work is far from his hometown, he held two banquets, one for the wedding ceremony at the place of work and the other for the appreciation banquet held in his hometown, both of which were organized by the parents of both parties.
According to Mr. Wu, the wedding ceremony cost nearly 40,000 yuan, and the number of people invited to the banquet was relatively small, about 100 people, of which 24,000 yuan was spent on the banquet. This standard wedding reception belongs to the middle range of the city where he works.
Mr. Wu found that halfway through the wedding ceremony, the waiter began to serve chicken, duck, fish and various vegetables, and the guests watched the wedding ceremony while eating. Towards the end of the ceremony, the guests were almost full, but the hot dishes continued, and at last there was only one table left, some of which did not even move. After the ceremony, some relatives and friends took the untouched dishes home, and more were wasted on the table.
The thank-you banquet held in his hometown was attended by about 400 people and cost more than 40,000 yuan. According to the tradition of the hometown, the thank-you banquet is generally set up for two days.
Mr. Wu calculated an account for the reporter: his parents invited a local wedding banquet team with excellent cooking skills in his hometown, rented two outdoor temporary wedding banquet greenhouses, and spent 6,500 yuan in two days; The banquet invited 40 tables of relatives and friends, each table sat about 10 people, and the ingredients for the preparation of the banquet cost about 25,000 yuan. The cost of tobacco, wine, sugar, and tea adds up to more than 10,000 yuan. These expenses do not include the labor costs and red envelopes for relatives and friends to help.
Mr. Liu, a citizen of Shandong, attended a wedding banquet in March this year, with nearly 20 dishes for eight or nine people per table. There was no room for the hot dishes on the table, and the guests beckoned the waiter to remove the cold dishes and put the hot dishes in the vacant space.
"This means that cold dishes are wasted without much eating." Mr. Liu felt that it was a pity, and there were many hot dishes that were wasted. The first is the local specialty, and everyone will be full after eating for a while. Even so, other hot dishes continued, including the expensive seafood, where guests put down their chopsticks after just a few bites, and ended with soup and staples such as steamed buns, steamed buns, and flower rolls, and no one moved their chopsticks anymore.
As for packing, Mr. Liu said that he was very helpless, although some of the dishes were not moved, most of them came from other places to attend the wedding, and they had to return to work on the same day, so they could not pack the remaining dishes; There were one or two packed at the scene, mainly to pack staple food, and everyone had moved the chopsticks to the hot dishes, even if there were a lot left, no one packed them, so it was wasted.
Everyone knows that the wedding banquet is a serious waste, and it feels a pity, so can you serve a few fewer dishes? In the interview, the reporter learned that although they knew that it would be wasted, most newcomers and their families still had a hard time riding the tiger, worried that they would lose face if the grade was low.
Looking at the rest of the wine and food, only a small part can be packed and given away, Mr. Wu feels very pity. At first, he was opposed to making it so big and ordering so many dishes, but his parents thought that "everyone is doing well, we must not be bad, we must do it well".
"Getting married in the eyes of my parents is a happy thing, and it is also a matter of face for two families. So many relatives and friends came, if the wedding banquet was of a low grade and there were fewer dishes, it would not look good, so it was necessary to raise the grade of the wedding banquet. Mr. Wu said.
Mr. Zhang, who also got married last year, still remembers that when he and his family had just finished the wedding, he and his family ate leftovers for more than a week. He said that he had also considered the issue of waste at that time, and wanted to spend less money and serve fewer dishes, but this idea was strongly opposed by the elderly on both sides.
The ceremony is complicated and expensive, and many materials are thrown away when they run out
The wedding company spent 11,000 yuan, and the dress and wedding car were about 10,000 yuan. This is the "hard expense" of Mr. Wu's wedding.
"No matter how many people are invited, the 'Four King Kongs' must have them, including photography, videographers, hosts and makeup artists." Mr. Wu said.
On this "just need", Ms. Liu from Hebei spent more than 80,000 yuan: 23,000 yuan for the wedding scene decoration, 27,000 yuan for wedding dresses, and more than 30,000 yuan for the "Four King Kongs".
The reporter learned that regarding the preparation of the wedding, the newlyweds often have two choices, one is to rely on themselves and their families, and contact the wedding company and the wedding venue after comparing prices; Another option is a wedding planning company, most of which provide one-stop planning services.
If you choose a one-stop wedding, it means that the couple does not need to contact multiple parties, they only need to prepare the cigarettes, alcohol, sugar, and tea needed for the wedding day, and the wedding emcee, stylist, photographer, on-site decoration and wedding car are completely undertaken by the wedding company. Taking Beijing as an example, the price list of many wedding companies shows that the price of one-stop planning is between 60,000 yuan and more than 100,000 yuan, and the price of a wedding banquet is thousands of yuan or even tens of thousands of yuan.
Ms. Li, from Sichuan, who held her wedding last September, said that the wedding process is like a consumerist trap: the preparation process is complicated, the wedding process is cumbersome, and there is a lot of waste in the wedding ceremony.
"It cost tens of thousands of yuan to hold the ceremony and invite the wedding team, including the wedding emcee, and I wanted to preside over it on stage more than once. There are also some red envelopes for drinks, which are also a lot of expenses, and if I don't consider the wishes of my parents, I don't really want to have a wedding. Ms. Li said.
Ms. Li's requirements for holding a wedding are "cost-effective", and the budget is set at 30,000 yuan or 40,000 yuan. She consulted with many wedding planning agencies and chose the most realistic offer.
"I don't need crystals, ceilings, etc., just be festive and generous. Those who quote 100,000 yuan at every turn will inevitably have elements of fooling people. In the process of communicating with the wedding planner, she advocated the principle of using fake flowers instead of real flowers, and renting instead of buying, so as to save costs as much as possible. In the end, her wedding still cost 60,000 yuan, "although it exceeded the budget, this cost is not too high in the local area." I had two friends whose weddings were similar to mine, and they spent more than 100,000 yuan on the wedding scene decoration alone, and in the end, many things were used up once and thrown away."
There is always some "have to spend" money, this is Ms. Li's summary of the over-budget, for example, on the wedding day, the host brought 3 supervisors without communication, and each person charged 500 yuan after the wedding, "I don't know what they are here for, but this money can't be left unpaid."
There are also some things that are not bought when preparing for the wedding, and they can't be used up, such as balloons, happy words, decals, sign-in tables at the door, etc., these decorations that cost more than 1,000 yuan can only be used on the wedding day, and there are a lot left, "It's a pity to throw it away, and there is nowhere to put it if you don't throw it away."
During this year's "May Day" holiday, Mr. Cai, who had just completed the groomsman task in Pinggu District, Beijing, also had a deep understanding of this.
"The wedding was great, but the leftover meals, the overbought melon seeds and peanuts, the fleet of vehicles that were completed and the materials that were thrown away after only one use were regrettable." Mr. Cai said that in order to get a good fortune on the wedding day, all the materials should be prepared more, and it is best to have a surplus, taking melon seeds and peanuts as an example, 200 catties were prepared, and about 100 catties were actually consumed, and the remaining melon seeds and peanuts could only be taken home. There are 8 wedding cars, which are Mercedes-Benz of unified models, and the flowers that decorate the wedding car only bloom on the wedding car for a period of kissing journey, and then they are thrown away. Balloons, lanterns, decorative KT panels, ceiling latte art, and red carpet in the banquet hall were all treated in a single use.
Conflict of ideas
For the sake of face and to collect more money, parents and children have different ideas
Like Ms. Lee, more and more young people want to have a simple and simple wedding, but the implementation process is not smooth.
Ms. Yao, 26, from Nanchang, Jiangxi Province, is preparing for her wedding, and when the preparations for the wedding begin, Ms. Yao is full of expectations for the wedding ceremony to witness her love.
However, as the process of preparing for marriage progressed, her disagreements with her parents grew. Determine the date, venue, and guest list for the banquet...... Every detail is difficult to agree with parents.
Ms. Yao wants to travel with her fiancé to get married, and after the trip, she will hold a thank-you banquet at their respective home locations, inviting relatives and friends to the banquet for a simple time, and no longer holding a traditional marriage ceremony.
But parents think very differently. They hope that their daughter's wedding will be big and entertain as many guests as possible, so that they will look good and get back more money.
"I can't make my own decisions about my wedding, and it's hard to convince my parents. If you have a simple wedding, your parents will think that I am not filial, and there will be a lot of unnecessary expenses for a big wedding, including but not limited to 'recognizing relatives' and 'going out money'. Ms. Yao said helplessly that she is currently in a relationship with her parents, and the marriage date is uncertain.
For Mr. Han, who was born in a rural area in northern Henan, the wedding is more like a huge shackle, and "this expenditure is becoming another 'straw' that overwhelms the family after the bride price."
He told reporters that according to local customs, wedding banquets include engagement banquets and wedding banquets. The wedding banquet not only includes cigarettes, wine, food, that is, banquet expenses, but also other types of expenses, such as red envelopes issued to the woman's relatives, master of ceremonies, matchmakers, wedding car drivers, etc., as well as various gifts, various costumes, wedding photos, etc.
"Now the expenditure on wedding banquets is amazing, in the past, the participants of the engagement banquet were basically immediate family members, but now it has evolved into a large-scale, pompous engagement scene, and there are more customs of inviting master of ceremonies and videos, in addition, the grade of cigarettes and alcohol is becoming more and more extravagant, and the cost has risen significantly." Mr. Han said that the cost of the wedding banquet is mostly reflected in the dishes, which are so many that they cannot be eaten at all, and each table costs at least 1,000 yuan, not including tobacco and alcohol.
"The wedding car is also particular, requiring a number of evens, and requiring a long row of wedding cars full of red flowers. The decoration of the chapel in the process of receiving relatives has basically been outsourced by the wedding company, which provides a series of processes such as decoration, hosting, photography, editing, etc., which is too commercialized. Mr. Han said.
Mr. Han didn't want to be kidnapped by this layer of expenses, and wanted to resist for a while, but was finally interrupted by his mother's cold war, "In the name of respecting tradition, the villagers actually practice comparison, and the cigarettes and alcohol at the wedding banquet have become the representative objects of the villagers comparing with each other." For example, some people have never drunk Wuliangye for half their lives, but they serve Wuliangye at their children's wedding banquet for the sake of face."
Expert advice:
Constantly improve the village rules and people's covenants, marriage customs, and etiquette are simple and moderate
In January this year, the research group of Professor Huang Zhenhua of Central China Normal University published a survey report on the marriage status of older men and young men in rural areas. Huang Zhenhua told reporters that wedding expenses have indeed caused trouble to many families, especially peasant families, and in some economically underdeveloped places, extravagance and waste in wedding banquets are more prominent, because these places, especially rural areas, value human favors.
Wang Yunhui, an associate researcher at the Henan Academy of Social Sciences, believes that the problem of wedding banquet waste has been cured for a long time, and the reasons are many, including traditional cultural factors, the impact of bad social atmosphere, and the lack of related services in the catering industry.
"In traditional Chinese culture, the culture of face is deeply rooted. In order to decorate their faces, many people have to talk about pomp and circumstance at wedding banquets, thinking that the pomp and standards are not enough, and they will be despised and alienated by others. In order to get this kind of face, it will cause waste in food. Wang Yunhui said.
Liu Junhai, a professor at the Law School of Chinese Minmin University, believes that the main reasons for the high consumption of the wedding industry include demand-driven, social concepts, commercialization tendencies, market supply-side competition, and information asymmetry. Some people see luxury weddings as a symbol of status and face, and the tendency of commercialization leads to rising service prices, market competition prompts the supply side to provide more high-end services, and information asymmetry also makes it difficult for some consumers to make rational choices.
The interviewed experts believe that this phenomenon can be gradually improved by improving village rules and conventions and promoting the change of customs and customs.
Huang Zhenhua said, for example, adding clauses such as the prohibition of extravagance and waste in weddings and wedding banquets to the village rules and regulations. However, it should be noted that in order for the village rules and regulations to be truly effective, they must be unanimously approved by the villagers and must not violate laws and regulations. To this end, when formulating relevant provisions, it is necessary to extensively solicit the opinions of villagers, and establish them through discussion, voting, and signing at meetings.
"In order to increase effectiveness, it is better to formulate some incentive or punishment measures, and implement them by the villagers or village cadres with prestige in the village." Huang Zhenhua proposed that it should not be curbed by external forces alone, but should rely more on endogenous forces to change some local customs, such as through the formation of red and white councils within the village, etc., to consciously guide the villagers to simplify the marriage process and save the cost of weddings. He introduced that Feiyue Village, Lidian Town, Guangshui City, Suizhou City, Hubei Province, provides a good example. The local government has set up a new wind association of red and white directors, which is specifically responsible for curbing bad social habits in weddings and funerals, and within its jurisdiction, it requires new happy events, simple funerals, and small matters not to be handled, and no big things are allowed, and the results achieved are not bad. The members of the Red and White Council Fresh Wind Club are all village cadres and villagers with high prestige and enthusiasm for public welfare, and their words are more weighty and convincing in the local area, and they can better resolve such problems.
The reporter also noted that in order to advocate simple and moderate marriage customs and etiquette, local civil affairs departments actively promoted institutional innovations such as marriage certificate issuance services and collective weddings. Set up indoor and outdoor certification venues, vigorously promote collective weddings and charity weddings, invite government leaders, social celebrities, model representatives, etc. as specially invited certificate awarders, encourage parents of both parties, relatives and friends to witness the wedding activities, and organize newlyweds to plant "sweet trees" and cultivate "happy forests".
Regarding the waste of wedding banquets, Wang Yunhui suggested that we should make full use of various carriers to let everyone understand the hardships of food production and the importance of saving food, and guide people to consume rationally and eat in a civilized manner.
Hot Reviews
Don't let wedding meals become the norm
Marriage is a major event in life, and at such an important moment, the host usually spares no money, and tries to choose a good banquet within his ability, for fear of neglecting the guests, and at the same time asking for a good fortune for the newlyweds. In addition to the big fish and meat, some precious ingredients and famous tobacco and wine are put on the table together, which has become the attractive "signboard" of the hotel's wedding banquet. In the face of dazzling wine and meat meals, guests often have a lot of wine and food left over after feasting, and for the sake of face, few people will pack leftovers at the wedding banquet, so wedding banquet food waste has almost become a norm.
If you want to break the bad habit of waste in wedding banquet catering, in addition to strong national supervision, relevant departments should also strengthen the publicity and guidance of consumers, publicize and implement "new happy events, simple marriages", advocate "no pomp, no arrogance", consciously resist the wind of comparison, and create a civilized, harmonious, economical and green wedding banquet catering consumption environment.
Secondly, in today's era when takeaway can order "small dishes" and "single meals", it is recommended that hotels take the initiative to reasonably design wedding banquet menus, provide a variety of collocations for consumers to choose from, and vigorously promote the "disc action" and advocate the "empty bottle action" of beverages; It can also further eliminate the waste of wedding banquet meals by providing heart-warming services such as free after-dinner packaging. Comprehensive Rule of Law Daily, Workers' Daily, etc
Netizen's point of view
■Shushino 65: Even though life is better now, it's heartbreaking to see that food is wasted like this.
■I love my family: Now I go to drink wedding wine, and I have to eat more when I go home, not because there is not enough food at the wedding banquet, but because I want to eat less and less.
■Laughing at life: extravagance and waste violate the tradition of thrift and thrift of the Chinese nation, which is a distorted value and self-esteem!
■Lan Yidan: It is necessary to promote good models, establish new trends, and reduce waste.