Author/Iron Third Division Xu Baoquan
Bow to the mother river beam, white hair and tears dry. The miserable snowy night in Chaimen, at this time, it is better to have a son than nothing. Qing Huang Zhong wrote a poem "Farewell to My Mother", one stone stirred up a thousand waves, and there was a sadness that could not be swept away. This should be the infectious power of a poem, or the resonance of the heart.
(Image source: Internet)
Throughout the ages, there have always been many words of sadness and parting, and heartbreaking. And there are not many poems that express the inseparable feelings for the old mother.
Huang Zhongze impressed me. His poem "Farewell to My Mother" is more infectious and universal than those direct depictions of loving and respecting mothers, which is the sublimation of personal emotions and the immortal swan song of mother-son affection works. Huang Zhongze is worthy of being a descendant of the Song Dynasty poet Huang Tingjian. He was a poet of extraordinary talent, who was erudite throughout the ages, ancient and modern, and most famous for his poetic talents.
Through his poems, we can see that his heart is gorgeous, and there is a light of humanity flickering in his heart. This poem does not directly express the pain of saying goodbye to his mother, but through the specific details of "worshipping his mother with a curtain" and seeing the distinctive image of the mother, the two face each other and are silent. In this way, it makes people feel more really: the emotional ups and downs of mother and child and the emotional exchange between each other. At this time, the mother's sorrow and sorrow, the poet's sorrow and guilt, are all in words.
Different times, different spiritual spaces, it is a poem that shortens the distance with the poet, only because there is a common sentimental feeling with the poet. "How many times the world hurts the past". What I can't forget in my life is the sadness and parting of the bosom friend poet Huang Zhongze's endorsement of "hugging the curtain and worshiping the mother".
(Image source: Internet, thanks to the painter)
It was when my mother was critically ill and asked for leave to visit. The long journey of 3,000 miles has always been a heavy burden on the body, which makes people feel depressed and breathless. When I lifted the door curtain, I saw my skinny mother, barely supporting herself to sit up. At that time, my mother had reached the terminal stage of cancer, not to mention eating, even drinking water and porridge was difficult to swallow, and she basically relied on infusions to sustain her life every day. Mother and son are connected! I hurried over. Mom's deep, godless eyes suddenly lit up. In an instant, the kind gaze was like a warm current, surrounding me. There was no need for verbal communication, and I immediately understood her eyes - there was relief, satisfaction, advice, maternal love, and more reluctance...... In the next few days, I spent as much time as I could by her side, cutting her nails, picking out her ears, and telling her what she was most worried about and wanted to know. After only a few days of companionship, it can be seen that she is already very satisfied. She urged me to go back quickly and not to delay my work. Early in the morning of the day I left, my mother sat up again and told me to eat before leaving.
I found out that my mother seemed to have lost weight again, and she must have not slept all night. What a torment this night was for my mother! I told her that she had already eaten it and that she was leaving. The strong mother didn't shed tears, I know, she is holding back, I'm afraid I can't stand it. My throat was like a ball of cotton, and I couldn't say a word of comfort, but I helped her to lie down slowly, tucked the corners of the quilt for her, barely controlled the sadness, took a deep breath, turned my heart sideways, and turned around and went out. At that time, if it weren't for my mother's calmness, it would have been difficult for me to get out of the house.
(Image source: Internet)
However, the moment the train started to stop, I shouted to stop again. At this time, I clearly realized that what I was facing in front of me was clearly the last goodbye to my mother, and I wanted to take one last look at my mother. So, I jumped out of the car and quietly walked back to my mother's bed. When I saw that my mother was still lying down in the same posture as before, silently, as if she was asleep, my heart calmed down a little. Actually, how much to say, living with my mother is too little, how much I want to be by her bedside until ...... It turns out that the helplessness and reluctance of life are so painful, there is no room for change, "at this time, it is better to have a child than nothing", and a sense of guilt that cannot be repaid hits my heart. I knelt down and kowtowed three times in front of my mother's bed. The steps of departure were so heavy, and the legs seemed to be filled with lead.
Now, how many years have passed, thinking of the life and death with my mother, I still have a deep sigh, and I am still so sad. People say that so-and-so is affectionate, and so-and-so is affectionate. In fact, the relationship between mother and son is the first love in the world. All things have affection, and mother and son have deep affection. The "Dou's Snake" recorded in "Sou Shen Ji", which does not forget the story of thanking his mother, is also touching. "It was when the wife of Dou Feng, the Taishou of Xiangjun in the Later Han Dynasty, gave birth to a son Dou Wu, and at the same time gave birth to a snake and sent the snake to the countryside. When my mother died, a snake hanged herself, hit her head against the coffin and bled out, and she left after a while." Huang Zhong sang "Farewell to My Mother", which is very affectionate and clear, and truly reproduces the helplessness and sorrow of parting with his mother at that time. The kind of reluctance to leave, but having to leave, having to give up the emotional ordeal, is really heartbreaking, tearing liver and lungs. At the same time, the feelings of guilt, self-blame and hatred expressed in the poem are a wake-up call and warning to the world. Reading it today, it is still emotional and thought-provoking.
Introduction to Xu Baoquan
Xu Baoquan, male, Han nationality, pen name Qunyu. Born in 1953, he joined the army in December 1970 and joined the party in August 1973. University education, senior political engineer.
Member of Jilin Writers Association.
In 1998, he edited the special issue of Jilin Pictorial "Brilliant Decade";
He has successively published a collection of essays on "Oilman on the Shore of Chagan Lake", "Hometown of the Prairie" and "Essays on the Settlement of Lu".
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