"After the divorce, my girlfriend and I lived together with the baby": divorce and child, a single mother's self-help

In the past two years, the hitchhiker culture has been in full swing.

Whether it is a meal pairing, a single match or a travel pairing, this relaxed relationship model of "gathering with fate and dispersing without fate" has been liked by many people.

01, divorced partner

And now, this trend has affected the special group of "single mothers", and there is a novel family model of "divorce and child"!

Imagine two single mothers who have just divorced come together because of a common experience.

They are not relatives, but they are more like relatives; They are not bound by marriage, but they have the responsibility of raising children together.

They share a house, take care of the children together, share the living expenses together, and take care of the rest.

This new family model can't help but make people's eyes shine, as if they have seen the wisdom and courage of single mothers to find a way out of the difficult situation.

Of course, this "divorce partner" family model has also caused a lot of controversy.

Some people think that this is another option for women in difficult situations, a brave attempt;

Some people also questioned how two people who are not emotionally related can share the responsibility of raising children.

02, how to balance children and work

Let's take a look at the example of Ah Hua and Ah Mu, the best friends who have known each other for 19 years.

Last year, they both experienced a change in their marriage and became single mothers. Life after a divorce is more difficult than expected, with the responsibility of raising children, the pressure of work, and the triviality of household chores leaving them almost breathless.

However, they did not give up, but chose to support each other and face the difficulties together. They moved in together, took care of the children together, and formed a "family of four" who were not related by blood.

Ah Hua is responsible for taking care of the children's daily life, while Ah Mu goes out to work to earn money and support the family's expenses. They have a clear division of labor and mutual respect, and together they create a warm family environment for the children.

Although they are not bound by marriage, they share common responsibilities and goals. They proved that even without an emotional relationship, two people can share the responsibility of raising children.

Although this new family model is full of controversy, it also shows us the strength and wisdom of single mothers in difficult situations.

Moreover, as a "divorce partner", there is almost no emotional friction between them. It's not like some couples, who struggle with the question of "love or not" all day long.

They each have their own circle of friends and personal time, and they solve problems at home on a case-by-case basis. Ah Hua said: "Marriage is a matter of two families, but divorce is only a matter of two people. We are much happier than many 'widowed marriages'! ”

02, a tacit partner can not be found

Of course, not all "divorce partners" can be as smooth as Ah Hua and Ah Mu.

Once, there were two single mothers, Huahua and Mumu, who were both wanderers of life, without the support of their families, who lived a hungry and full life with their children, and sometimes even took temporary shelter in the waiting room of the train station.

Huahua felt sorry for Mumu's situation, so she invited her to live with her children, hoping to work together to overcome the difficulties and support each other.

However, the good intentions are always difficult to resist the cruelty of reality. Two mothers, three children, the pressures of life overlap. Although both want to create a warm home for their children, the reality is that it is difficult for a mother to take care of three children at the same time.

In the end, this short period of "divorce partnering" lasted only three months.

Imagine if the other person's way of educating your children is unacceptable to you, or you can't accept the other person's hygiene and living habits, then wouldn't this kind of life add to the chaos?

Even if there is a clear division of labor, unexpected situations in life can make two people psychologically unbalanced.

After all, there will inevitably be quarrels between two children, and as a mother, who can be completely objective and fair? Over time, conflicts between children can easily escalate into conflicts between adults.

Therefore, even if the money factor is put aside, the probability of success of the "divorce partner" is not high. In addition to a deep emotional foundation and similar living habits, it is also necessary to have a high level of tolerance and patience.

Otherwise, such a hitchhiker life can easily collapse due to all kinds of trivial problems.

In this uncertain world, we may not be in full control of the direction of life, but we can try to maintain an optimistic mindset and face every challenge in life with wisdom and courage.

03, it's better not to divorce than to find a partner

"Then it's better not to divorce in the first place, so that the children can still have a complete home."

This sounds reasonable, but the reality is often not so simple. Sometimes, divorce can be a relief for both parties and the children.

If you are divorced and have children, you will be talked about, and if you don't have children, you will be blamed. But have you ever thought about it, are the children of two-parent families really happy? Do they have to have fatherly love? So, we can't just look at the surface, we have to go deep into the real life of each person.

In general, although the matter of "divorce and child" sounds a bit novel, it actually reflects the helplessness and expectation of single mothers for life.

They want to find someone who can support each other and face life's challenges together.

Therefore, we should give them more understanding and support, instead of blaming and discriminating.

Of course, this "divorce pairing" model is not a panacea, and it has its own risks and challenges.

There is no absolute right or wrong, only whether it is suitable for you. So, if you're facing such a choice, you might as well listen to other people's stories, think more about your own needs, and then make the best decision for you!

As for finding a partner, just like the other half, it is impossible to find a 100% compatible one.

First of all, we have to make sure that the other party does not have those unbearable personalities or habits, that is, the kind of people who step on the "minefield" in our hearts.

Then, you have to talk about the money before you share a house. Rent and daily living expenses are all AA system. The one who helps to take care of the child should be charged a certain hardship fee.

Then, we all have to learn to be bigger, it's not a matter of principle, just take a step back, and life will be more harmonious.

In the end, I would like to say that whether it is marriage or "divorce tie-up", it is a choice in life.

I hope you all are happy and healthy.