Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
Emotional problems are an eternal topic. Almost everyone will be trapped and hurt by love.
When faced with a relationship that is about to pass away, many people will be entangled and helpless to say: "I can't let go." ”
knew that the relationship was overwhelmed, but he didn't have the courage and determination to cut through the mess quickly, and finally sank in this painful relationship.
In fact, all departures are planned for a long time, whether a relationship should continue or not, "feelings" will tell you.
When a relationship starts to make you unhappy, it's time to calm down and listen to your inner voice, which may already tell you that the relationship is not worth continuing.
Judging whether a relationship should continue or not usually depends on three places.
01
Whether it is natural to get along
There is a saying: "All those who are similar in soul will meet again, and if there is no invitation, they will also meet." ”
When two people get along, the most comfortable state is not to please, not to accommodate, to simply be themselves, and to fall in love easily.
If you need to deliberately disguise yourself in front of him, try to cater to his preferences, or if he forces you to become something else, then such feelings will not last.
A really good relationship is that two people can be themselves, not deliberately, not pretentious, not restrained, even if they are relatively speechless, they still feel comfortable.
Just like wearing shoes, the most important thing is not how gorgeous the appearance is, but to fit the feet and be comfortable. Barely put on a pair of shoes that didn't fit, and the last thing hurt was yourself.
Life is so long, if you haven't done a single thing you like in your life, isn't it a pity?
So, instead of making compromises, hypocritically pandering to others, and being yourself in pain, it is better to find a pair of shoes that suit you and start a new journey.
02
Whether the communication is smooth
When two people get along, communication is very important. Good communication can solve many problems and make the relationship continue to heat up; And ineffective communication will only accelerate the breakdown of the relationship.
It's not terrible to have contradictions, it's terrible that two people refuse to communicate, or the communication is not on the same channel, you say yours, I pull mine, and in the end they break up.
In fact, it is inevitable that two people will have contradictions and disputes, and how to resolve them after they arise is the most important thing.
A good relationship requires two people to talk from the bottom of their hearts, to listen patiently to each other's inner voices, and to empathize and compare hearts to each other's perspectives.
Only by fully understanding the other party's thoughts can we better sort out the ins and outs of the matter and avoid misunderstandings and estrangements caused by poor communication.
If there is no way to communicate with each other, either quarreling with each other, or being relatively silent, then there is probably no way to continue such a relationship.
03
Whether they trust each other or not
Trust is the catalyst of affection and the foundation of a relationship. Without trusting feelings, it is like a high-rise building with no good foundation, which can collapse at any time.
Once two people lose trust, they will be suspicious of each other and suspicious all day long. This kind of relationship will make people tired, until they are finally overwhelmed and have no choice but to let go.
And a relationship of mutual trust will give both parties enough security, even if they are not around each other, they are still at ease and steadfast.
We often say that it is really difficult to find someone who is worthy of complete trust.
Therefore, if you find it, please cherish this rare and precious relationship, and don't let it down and hurt easily.
But if there is a complete loss of trust between the two people, there are only a few contradictions. Then such a relationship, even if it continues, will become more and more tiring.
No relationship ends for no reason.
When there is a crack in a relationship, the first thing we should do is not to rush to repair it, but to calm down and ask ourselves what the cause of the problem is.
A good relationship requires two people to run in with each other, understand each other, and need long-term testing and persistence.
If two people are together, get along comfortably and naturally, there are no barriers to communication, and they fully trust each other, then please cherish it. After all, it's really not easy to meet the right person.
However, if two people are together, it has become pain and suffering, they can't communicate, and there is no way to trust, and there is only indifference and suspicion between each other.
Such a relationship often loses the meaning of continuing.
The best love is not a partner, but the rest of your life; Not to consume each other, but to nourish each other; It's not about asking and taking, it's about understanding and tolerating.
May you find the person who really understands you, loves you, and loves you in the vast sea of people, may your deep affection never be disappointed, and may your love last forever.