Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In relationships, the relationship between people is always full of variables.
Sometimes, we lose contact with our loved ones because of a momentary impulse or some seemingly insurmountable obstacle.
Those quarrels and misunderstandings are like invisible rifts, quietly eroding our relationship and making the distance between each other more and more distant.
But in the dead of night, those warm pictures of the past, the sweet words of the past, came to my heart like a tide.
We begin to miss the warmth of the past, the smile of that person, the good times we spent together, and we can't help but think: Should we let go of those past entanglements and regain that lost connection?
So, how to make him take the initiative to come to you after the disconnection? Remember these three words.
01
etc.: Give each other some time and space
After the disconnection, the most taboo is to be eager for quick success, and constantly bombard with phone calls and text messages, which will only make the other party more disgusted.
At this time, "waiting" is particularly important, and it is also a necessary process.
Give each other some time and space to calm down and also give yourself time to reflect.
As the saying goes, "you can't eat hot tofu in a hurry". Some things, the more anxious you are, the easier it is to backfire.
Just like when fishing, you need to be patient enough to wait for the fish to take the bait. Similarly, in relationships, sometimes "waiting" is also a strategy.
For example, you fell out with your beloved him because of a misunderstanding. You'd love to go to him and explain it, but at this point, the smartest thing to do is to treat it cold.
At this time, the other party may be angry, and your explanation is just entangled in his eyes.
It's better to wait for him to lose his anger and then you can explain, so that he may be able to listen, and you will have a chance to get back together.
Sometimes, "waiting" is a form of wisdom.
In the process of waiting, you can make yourself better, and you can also give the other person enough time to think and reflect on the relationship between you.
02
Mention: Appropriate reference to shared memories
After waiting for a while, if there is still social media interaction between you, you can appropriately mention some of the shared memories between you.
Doing so not only evokes his emotional resonance, but also makes him aware of it. You've always cherished this relationship.
Pushkin once said: "Everything that passes will become a beautiful memory." ”
When you mention those good pasts, he may be touched and maybe reach out to you.
For example, you are separated because of some contradictions. If you want to salvage the relationship, then after waiting for a while, you can take the initiative to "attack".
At this time, you can share a photo of you playing together on social media, and then caption: "Do you remember those beautiful moments? ”
Reader Xiao Nuan used this method, and it didn't take long for her boyfriend to take the initiative to contact her, and the two quickly got back together.
By mentioning shared memories, you can make him feel that you are nostalgic for him, and it can also inspire him to feel nostalgic for your good past.
In this way, the likelihood that he will reach out to you will be greatly increased.
03
Citations – show your charm and new life
After the disconnection, you can use social media to show your new life and personal charm.
In this way, not only will he be able to see your growth and changes, but it will also stimulate his curiosity and attention to you.
Oscar Wilde once said, "Be yourself, because everyone else has already done it." ”
So, when showing your new life, be sure to keep it authentic and natural. Don't deliberately pander to his preferences, but be your most authentic self.
After Ziyue broke up with her boyfriend, she did not blindly immerse herself in sadness, but turned around and devoted herself to work and life.
She shared photos of herself participating in various activities and trips on her circle of friends, including small achievements at work.
These not only make her look more radiant, but also successfully attract the attention of her boyfriend.
It didn't take long for her boyfriend to contact her and say that he wanted to start over.
By showing your new life and charisma, you can make him see a better you. Such a person is undoubtedly very attractive, so he will most likely take the initiative to contact you.
In general, the words "wait, mention, and quote" may be able to help you find him again after the disconnection.
But remember, feelings are a matter of two people. Even if he takes the initiative to contact you, you need to manage and cherish the relationship together.
Only in this way can you truly start over and find the happiness and sweetness of love.