: In the complex web of interpersonal communication, we always meet all kinds of people. Zeng Guofan, a statesman and writer of the Qing Dynasty, once put forward a thought-provoking idea: people who speak verbose should not have deep friendships. Today, we're going to dive into the philosophy behind this idea and what it holds for modern social life.
Body:
Dear readers, Zeng Guofan's life is full of legends, and his principles of making friends are worth pondering. In modern society, we have to deal with different people every day, and how to choose the right friend has become an important issue. Zeng Guofan once said: "If there are long-winded people around you, then you must pay attention, such people should not be deeply acquainted." What kind of wisdom is hidden behind this sentence?
1. Characteristics of long-winded people
Zeng Guofan believes that long-winded people are often too trivial, verbose, inorganized, hesitant and overly confiding in communication. These traits can be exhausting and even impatient. In real life, we can distinguish a verbosity by the following aspects:
1. Lack of coherence: When they tell things, they tend to have a hammer in the east and a stick in the west, which is difficult to understand.
2. Hesitation: When it comes to expressing their opinions, they can be capricious and confusing.
3. Talking too much: When they interact with people, they like to talk about their trivialities, which makes people feel too trivial.
2. Why can't you have deep friendships?
So, why is it not advisable for people who talk to each other deeply? Zeng Guofan's views are as follows:
1. Affect communication: Long-winded people are often difficult to understand, which can affect the effectiveness of communication between the two parties. In the long run, this can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
2. Emotional contagion: Getting along with people who are verbose can be affected by their negative emotions. This can make people feel tired and even affect their mood.
3. Different values: Long-winded people may be very different from us in terms of values, lifestyle, etc. Deep friendship with them may lead to difficulties in reaching a consensus between the two parties, or even conflict.
3. How to deal with verbosity
Although Zeng Guofan believes that long-winded people should not have deep friendships, in real life, we will inevitably encounter such people. So, how to deal with a verbosity?
1. Be patient: Learn to be patient when dealing with them. Give them enough attention and try to understand their intentions.
2. Stay focused: When communicating with them, try to get to the point of the issue and ask them directly or guide them to express the main point.
3. Keep your distance: In interpersonal interactions, learn to keep a certain distance. Avoid too much contact so as not to be affected by their negativity.
epilogue
This famous quote by Tsang Guofan is intended to warn us to choose carefully in the process of making friends. While long-winded people may have certain advantages in some ways, having a deep relationship with them can be inconvenient. Therefore, in interpersonal interactions, we need to learn to identify such people and keep a proper distance in order to better protect our emotional and mental health.