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15 hilarious jokes to explain why the Kuomintang and the Communist Party won the war together?

author:Wang Menghu said interesting history

1, Navy Commander Gui Yongqing is a sycophant, and he knows that Chairman Jiang likes to sing, so he slaps the sycophants. One day, Gui Yongqing tailored a "Leader Song" for Leader Jiang, please see the lyrics: Great China, generation of talent! After turmoil, you can revivenation! Jiang Gong Zhongzheng, today's savior; Let's move forward with him, forward! Revival, revival! Chairman Chiang was very happy to receive this "Divine Comedy" and immediately rewarded Gui Yongqing with a great reward.

2. In the Battle of Huaihai, Huang Wei was captured. He felt that he didn't have much to contribute in his life, so he wanted to do something for humanity. Huang Wei remembered that the ancients said that there is a thing called "perpetual motion machine", with which everyone doesn't even have to work, and at present, everyone is too stupid to build it. Now that he has been captured, he just has time to display his ingenuity, so he made up his mind: to invent a "Huang Wei perpetual motion machine" for the benefit of mankind!

3. In 1947, Zhang Chong, Long Yun's most loyal subordinate, also surrendered to the Communist Party, which was widely reported by Xinhua News Agency. When Chiang Kai-shek saw it, he said to Long Yun angrily: "Zhang Chong is your subordinate, what do you say!" Long Yun was very angry, twisted his face to the side, and suppressed his anger and said: "Lin Biao is a student of your Chairman Jiang's Whampoa Military Academy, and he is also against your old man, so what's going on?" ”

4. In the Battle of Laiwu, the 73rd Army was completely annihilated, and after the Kuomintang army suffered this crushing defeat, it did not dare to fight in the East China Battlefield for a whole month. After the battle, the 73rd Army completed the reconstruction, and the good days were not long, and the 73rd Army reported to the top: the younger brother lost the pass defense in the battle, and asked for another copy, hoping that the eldest brother would approve it. The first department of the Xuzhou Command Office of the General Headquarters of the Army received a report and replied: "Why didn't you lose your dog's head!" ”

5. In the 1948 Kuomintang presidential election, Li Zongren was running around. Once, at a luncheon for delegates, he said: "I am a soldier and I don't know much about politics, and participating in an election is like a little girl from the countryside running to the city to fall in love. Everyone is from the past, like my 'big sister', and I hope to guide me a little more. The delegates at the banquet were happy, and these words were worth voting for him.

On April 29, 1948, the National Assembly elected a vice president, and Li Zongren became a dark horse, narrowly defeating Sun Ke, who was supported by Chiang Kai-shek. Chiang Kai-shek listened to the live radio broadcast of the voting in his official residence, and when he heard that Li Zongren had been elected, Chairman Chiang became angry and kicked the radio down. At that time, Chiang Kai-shek was as if he had suddenly aged dozens of years, his face was as white as paper, his cane was on his hand, and his cloak was flying in the wind.......

6. After the end of the Anti-Japanese War, the occupied areas began to "receive", but it became "robbery", and for a time there were people everywhere to loot people's money. At that time, the scene was vividly reproduced in the folk songs: those who came by ship did not go fast by car; If you go by car, you don't go as fast as you go by plane; Those who flew on the plane were not as fast as the spies who mingled with traitors in the occupied areas; The others are actually not fast, the fastest is the traitor who has turned into a traitor, robbing himself and collecting himself, faster than anyone else.

7. At the end of the 40s of the 20th century, the Kuomintang went on a hunt for the Communist Party. Mao Renfeng, director of the Secrecy Bureau, discovered that the daughter of the Kuomintang's "leader Wen Courage" and "president's think tank" and Chen Bui, known as the first pen of the Kuomintang, was also a communist. Chiang Kai-shek was very surprised when he found out, Mao Renfeng was busy grasping special arrests, and at the same time said to the chairman with emotion: "We arrest and kill like this, why do so many people come in with their heads, why?" ”

8. In order to promote afforestation among the people, the national government has made great efforts in publicity, and various tricks have emerged in an endless stream. Once, at the afforestation ceremony in North China, a representative came to the stage to speak: "Afforestation must be obtained." There are 40,000 people in China, and everyone who dies must have a coffin, which requires 40,000 coffins. So if we don't plant trees, where are so many trees for us to make coffins? So it is necessary to plant trees! ”

9. In the "Battle of Dingtao", the Kuomintang reorganized the Third Division and annihilated the entire army. Chiang Kai-shek ordered the rebuilding of Xinxiang, and the news reached the Fifth Appeasement Zone, and the senior staff officer Ma Zhi'an was quite incomprehensible, and he asked the commander Sun Zhen: "Didn't the commissar and the dwarf (Chen Cheng) have both given three orders, and if the unit is not fighting well, will the number be cancelled?" General Sun Zhen replied very calmly: "This is the annihilation of the whole army, and it is not the same thing as fighting badly!" ”

10, Song Xilian is Chiang Kai-shek's "eagle dog general" and only listens to Chiang Kai-shek's words. After Chiang Kai-shek went into the wilderness, Song Xilian has always obeyed Chiang Kai-shek's secret command, and He Yingqin often quarreled with Song Xilian. He Yingqin said: "I am the Executive Yuan and Minister of Defense, you must obey my orders!" Song Xilian said playfully: "I don't know what the premier is, and I don't know what the minister of defense is." He Yingqin was anxious, and burst into a foul word, to the effect: "You know that I am your father, but you don't know!" ”

11. There were three major "suicide attempts" before the Anti-Japanese War, among which Qian Dajun's suicide ranked second on the list. Qian Dajun committed suicide because he was "trapped in love", and his suicide attempt made him significantly more famous. There are too many women who like themselves and can't get rid of them, so they have to commit suicide, and there is also the move of "Empress E's daughter and Ying serving a husband together", people have said that he "is happy and carefree, is it not better than the queen Li who hugs left and right?" So Qian Dajun became more and more famous.

12. The 74th Division of the Kuomintang was fully equipped with American-style equipment, and most of the officers above the platoon level were high-achieving students from military academies, so they were very popular in the national army. Zhang Lingfu, as the commander of the 74th Division, had a very arrogant attitude, and his boss Li Yannian asked him to see the battle plan, Zhang Lingfu actually laughed at Li Yannian very wildly: "Old smoker, what is there to study here?" Zhang Lingfu not only looked down on his boss, but also looked down on his colleagues who fought in the coalition army, so he folded in Meng Lianggu.

13, during the Nanchang camp, there was an official document handed over to Zhu Huaibing, the director of the Political Department, by Chiang Kai-shek's instructions, and there was a small note in the official document, on which a line of numbers was written, and everyone checked it repeatedly, and could not see what the relationship between this line of numbers and Chiang Kai-shek's approval was, so they asked for instructions in writing, and forwarded it layer by layer, to the Secretary-General Yang Yongtai. Yang Yongtai took the note and asked Chiang Kai-shek. Jiang Xunsi thought for a while and said: "It has nothing to do with official documents, it is a phone number written down temporarily, and I don't know how it is sandwiched in the official document." ”

14. The United States, proceeding from its own interests, wanted to get rid of Chiang Kai-shek. During the Cairo Conference in December 1943, Roosevelt told Stilwell: "If you can't get along with the dictatorship Chiang Kai-shek, kill him." Stilwell asked his deputy, General Doss, to carry out the accident, which was supposed to cause a plane crash for Chiang Kai-shek when he visited India in March 1944, but in early March 1944, the Japanese military action caused Chiang Kai-shek to cancel his visit to India and save a small life.

15, Zhang Huizan is not a big man in the Republic of China, and not many people should know about it, but after a poem by Mao Zedong, he became famous. Zhang Huizan is also a scholar, and he has studied and drunk foreign ink. Once, he designed to arrest an old bustard who was very immoral and had a backer, not to mention that he would correct the law on the spot, and the verdict was neatly written in the ancient format, which made the old and young excited.

Luck is also a problem, and Zhang Huizan agrees. In 1930, the Kuomintang carried out the first "suppression of bandits", and Zhang Huizan fought for the first time, but as a result, he was killed by the division headquarters and two brigades, and he was captured alive. Being captured alive shows that he is afraid of death, or how not to commit suicide, but it is okay not to commit suicide, and then the head was cut off at the public trial meeting, and the head was put on a wooden board, and put it down along the Ganjiang River, and made a head lantern, and the head was later buried in Yuelu Mountain.