In today's era of soaring housing prices, it has become a common phenomenon in Chinese families for parents to give everything for their children's marriage and future. But how can outsiders understand the pain and joy behind this? Just when the 65-year-old Uncle Tan was wholeheartedly buying a house for his son and preparing to use up his life savings, a complaint from his daughter-in-law made him completely cold. What's going on? Is this the ultimate outcome for every parent who strives to provide for their children to go to a good school and live in a good house? Is this a reflection of social progress or some kind of deformed cultural tendency?
In China, buying a house has long been not only a living need, but also a heavy social responsibility. Parents often do whatever it takes to make their children's marriages happy. Uncle Tan and his wife are such ordinary Chinese parents, two retired elderly people engaged in the education industry, who should have enjoyed a quiet and stable old age, but because of their son's marriage and housing problems, they once again embarked on a hard journey.
It all started eight years ago, when Uncle Tan's son had just entered the society and couldn't wait to buy a house. Faced with his son's request, Uncle Tan and his wife began to run around, hoping to help their son solve the housing problem. They did not have much savings, and they planned to use the loan to buy a small house as their son's wedding home. The son and daughter-in-law were not satisfied with this, and the daughter-in-law often complained, feeling that compared with her best friend, she was too wronged, her best friend married well, and the other party's family directly bought the big flat in full.
Because his son insisted on buying a house in full and was unwilling to take on a long-term mortgage, this made Uncle Tan and his wife, who were not wealthy, face greater financial pressure. In order to accumulate enough money, they had to teach and do odd jobs at the same time, and they lived in a very tight situation. After eight years, I finally saved a deposit of 500,000 yuan.
House prices are rising much faster than they can save money. Seeing that his grandson is about to enter elementary school, the school district has become a rigid need. During a house viewing, the son and daughter-in-law took a fancy to a three-bedroom apartment in the city center, with a price of up to 1.3 million. This is undoubtedly an astronomical amount for an elderly couple, and they almost broke their family.
Faced with such a situation, Uncle Tan's wife enlightened him and raised a question: "My son is not in a hurry, what are you anxious about?" We gave him all the pension money, can he make sure that we will provide for our old age? This sentence made Uncle Tan fall into deep thought. He began to re-examine whether this endless sacrifice and dedication was really worth it.
Just as they were about to take out all their savings and borrowed money, by chance, Uncle Tan heard his daughter-in-law complaining to a friend on the phone: "They also want us to be satisfied with this little money?" I don't think they want us to have a good time! This unintentional complaint was like a thunderbolt from the blue, shattering all of Uncle Tan's expectations and efforts.
Uncle Tan learned from the pain and realized that his excessive dedication may not be understood and cherished by his son and daughter-in-law at all. He began to reflect on whether this desperate approach for the sake of the child was the right one. Shouldn't you keep some of your own emergency and pension assets? After discussing with his wife, he decided to only pay the down payment for his son, and let his son work on his own.
Although this matter has been temporarily resolved, the doubts and pains left behind are difficult to heal. In China, such families are not uncommon. Parents are often heartbroken about their children's marriage and housing problems, and their children may not always be able to truly understand their parents' painstaking efforts and sacrifices. This lack of intergenerational communication and understanding has left many families in an unspeakable predicament.
Nowadays, with the gradual change of social attitudes, more young people are beginning to reflect on and reject this heavy burden on their parents. They are more inclined to solve housing problems independently and are reluctant to let their parents overburden themselves. This change is slow, but it is gradually taking shape into a healthier and more rational social climate.
Uncle Tan's story is just a microcosm of thousands of Chinese families. Behind this is a reflection of a deep-seated socio-cultural problem and the complexity of intergenerational relations. Parents' selflessness and sacrifice are respectable, but they should also be in moderation, as excessive efforts can backfire. As children, we should understand and cherish the hardships of our parents and try our best to reduce their burdens. Only in this way can the family truly achieve harmony and the society develop more healthily. We can't help but ask, should such awakening and change come earlier?