As the old saying goes, "Men must marry, and women must marry." ”
At a certain age, the marriage of a man and a woman will come naturally.
As a parent, although you don't need to do everything, you also need to check for your children in a timely manner.
However, when children find a partner, whether they support or disagree, they must pay attention to the way they express themselves.
Speaking with a ruler and speaking in a measured manner can not only show the importance of oneself, but also have a closer relationship with one's children.
Especially the following 5 sentences, smart parents often rot in their stomachs, while confused parents say it casually!
1
Picky weird words
As the saying goes: "No one is perfect." ”
The same is true for children looking for a partner, and there must be dissatisfaction.
What's more, in the hearts of parents, their children are naturally excellent and outstanding, so they become more and more critical.
Appearance, height, family of origin, educational background...... Everywhere I look forward to my child finding the best partner.
Wise parents, no matter whether they marry, have always been virtuous, and as long as they have outstanding conduct, they will not hide their flaws.
They will also be stingy with compliments, not only to make a good impression on each other, but also to add points to their own children.
And most of the confused parents think very highly of themselves, and when they are a little unsatisfactory, they will make a lot of nonsense and say some picky and strange things.
Whether it is in front of you or behind your back, you must be yin and yang, and make the other party's shortcomings known to everyone.
But when the words are spoken, it will be difficult to recover, and at least the children's marriage will be twists and turns, and the other party will also treat them with hostility, and they will definitely turn against each other after marriage.
There is a saying in the Analects: "Be sensitive to things and be cautious in words." ”
As a parent, if you really think about your children and yourself, you must be cautious in what you say.
Even if you are dissatisfied, you must keep silent to show kindness, in addition to principled issues, let the child run in by himself, is the wisest.
2
Private words of love
In the "Disciple Rules", it is said: "People have selfishness, don't say it." ”
Between parents and children, even if they are close relatives, they must keep the boundaries of getting along.
If children tell their parents the details and privacy of their relationship, it is out of intimacy and respect.
While parents are relieved, they must not publicize the privacy of their children's love everywhere.
The better the relationship, the more important it is to keep your mouth shut, give your child enough space and respect, and maintain a harmonious parent-child relationship.
After all, casually revealing it and spreading it among relatives and friends will make children be pointed at and bring unnecessary trouble.
In addition, falling in love is not the same as getting married, if you break up and then find it, it will be known, and gossip is indispensable.
Therefore, in the process of children falling in love, whether it is showing off or complaining, try to keep your mouth shut, so as not to live up to the trust of your children and not provoke superfluous right and wrong.
3
Filial piety nonsense
There is an old Chinese saying: "I raise you young, you raise me old." ”
Parents do their best to raise their children to adulthood, and they also hope that their children will be filial to ensure their happiness in their old age.
But many parents think that after their children fall in love and get married, they only have a small family in their hearts, and they will forget to be filial to their parents.
Therefore, he often emphasizes his own difficulties in front of his children and children, and says something that does not forget to fulfill his filial piety.
Children have filial piety, whether you say it or not, they will do their best to let their parents enjoy their old age in peace.
Children have no filial piety, no matter how much you say, it is just playing the piano to the cow, and it is in vain to waste your efforts and saliva.
Moreover, when a filial child hears such words, he may be willing to obey and appease him once or twice.
But in the long run, I often feel pressured and coerced in my heart, and choose to be alienated because of the utilitarianism of my parents.
It is normal for parents to expect their children to be filial, but don't talk about it.
If you don't talk nonsense about filial piety, your children will be more grateful for love, and you will do everything you can to make your parents have something to rely on when you get married.
4
Angry words of opposition
"The Story of the Small Window" said: "When you are angry, your words are often out of shape. ”
When people are angry and angry, most of them will lose their dignity and sense of proportion when they speak.
Therefore, even if parents oppose their children's marriage, do not speak out in anger.
Parents all over the world naturally hope that their children will have a happy marriage and a smooth rest of their lives.
As a person who has come before, he is also qualified and far-sighted to raise objections to the marriage of his children.
But you should speak well, be reasonable, courteous and courteous, keep a calm mind, and communicate effectively.
Children will take their parents' good words to heart, so that they can carefully consider their partners and marriage.
If you can't control your emotions, if you don't agree, it will provoke your children's rebellious mentality and make wrong choices.
Emotional stability, calm and rational, and speaking well are the best cultivation and strategies for parents.
5
Urging gossip
There is a cloud in the "Historical Records": "Those who are married, the big Lun of the HOS house." ”
Marriage is the most important thing in life, and it is also the order of blessing and misfortune.
Find the right person, get married in pairs, and in the days to come, you can be comfortable and happy.
But some parents and children find a partner, as soon as they call and meet, they chatter endlessly about gossip urging marriage and children.
They think that they are out of concern and love, so they ignore the feelings of their children, ignore their children's plans, and are bent on their children starting a family.
If the children get married and have children in a hurry, in a hurry, they do not understand deeply and their feelings are insufficient, and there will inevitably be many contradictions, which will become the cause of discord in the future.
Assertive children, on the other hand, will choose to stay away from them, or even become estranged from their parents.
Really smart parents, when their children grow up, often choose to let go and go with the flow.
Whether it is getting married or having children, children have their own plans and ideas, and understanding and support is the best gift parents can give to their children.