Hello everyone, I am the family education instructor Guo Ma~
Have a second child?
To be honest, Guo's mother has really struggled for a long time.
Many people will say: If you can give birth now, you can give birth now, otherwise you will regret not being able to give birth in the future.
But there are also mothers who will say: think clearly about rebirth, because if you are born, you can't regret it.
The latter sentence seems to make more sense.
Once Guo's mother chatted with the mother of a pistachio classmate, and their family also had only one daughter, and none of the old people gave birth.
The 6 reasons why the old man does not give birth and the mother is unwilling to have a second child, to be honest, each of them is poked in the heart of the mother. After listening to these reasons, Guo's mother was even more reluctant to have a second child.
What about you?
The mother, who is unwilling to have a second child, gives these 6 reasons to poke her heart one by one, is she still alive after reading it?
Reason 1: Widowed parenting
When your child's father comes home, will he take the baby?
Guo's mother is a friend, the eldest of their family is brought by her, and her father basically plays games.
accidentally conceived the second child, and her husband insisted on giving birth to her, and promised to help take care of the baby.
But the reality shows that a man who doesn't even bring his first child is unlikely to have a second child.
So, now friends are dragging two.
Let Dad take the baby, Dad will only make excuses: work is too tiring, what is the hard work of taking the baby if you don't work......
Mr. Lu Xun said such a sentence in "Hot Wind: Random Impressions Twenty-five": If you don't treat him as a person when you are young, you won't be able to be a person when you grow up.
For widowed families, the father is not involved in the growth of the child, which means that the father does not treat the child as a "person", he just proves that he is a father, which has too many disadvantages for the child's future growth, and even directly affects whether the child is an adult in the future.
In such a native family, all the parenting work is done by the mother, which is very difficult, so to have a second child, the pressure will only be on the mother alone.
And the education that fathers can give their children, sometimes, is irreplaceable by mothers.
Reason 2: The economic pressure is considerable
In the eyes of the elderly: having an extra child is a matter of having one more pair of chopsticks.
In today's society, you can still afford to eat a little.
To tell the truth, two children, there is no money to raise without money, and there is money to raise money.
However, suddenly there is a second child, and if the family's income is average, then it is bound to reduce the boss's expenses to provide for the second child.
It is said that it is a matter of adding a pair of chopsticks, but after really giving birth to a second child, you will find that in addition to clothes, toys, picture books, etc., you can use old ones, and almost everything else has to be bought new.
Milk powder, rice noodles, diapers, feeding bottles, interest classes, snacks and fruits, etc., each of which is not very much, but the added cost is still considerable.
Moreover, this does not include the money for insurance for children and medical treatment when they are sick.
For many ordinary families, if they want to give a child a better life, then grit their teeth and the pressure is not too great. But with two children, not necessarily.
After all, in addition to having a baby to support, there must also be various expenses such as housing loans, car loans, and supporting the elderly.
Reason 3: I don't want to wronged the boss
Two days ago, I went to the playground to play, and I saw a grandmother with two babies, my sister was less than 3 years old, and my younger brother was just in his early years.
My sister couldn't climb on the swing, so she called her grandmother to help, but she said, "I'm going to take my brother." ”
Seriously, at that moment, I was quite distressed about this sister.
Grandma can actually lead the second child to hold her sister on the swing, but grandma's mind is on her younger brother.
After having a second child, no matter how big the eldest is, the family will inevitably take more care of the younger second child.
Even, some families will feel that the eldest is the elder brother and sister, so they need to let and take care of the second child. At this time, the boss is "forced to be sensible".
Whether it's helpless or feels that it should be so, in short, the boss will be wronged to a certain extent.
However, how many parents are willing to grieve their children?
When you don't want to be wronged, the second child will not be in the plan.
Reason 4: I don't want to let myself collapse again
Have you ever had a breakdown after giving birth?
Your baby needs night feeding, how many nights have you stayed up?
Your baby is sick, how many sleepless nights do you have?
How long has it been since you have enjoyed a natural awakening sleep when your baby is crying?
This is all when everything is going well for the baby, not to mention those serious diseases.
The first 2 years after giving birth to a baby are the most difficult to bring, and many mothers may be about to collapse and become depressed in these two years.
When it is difficult to regulate emotions, they will even act to hurt the baby.
If you have a difficult family member and an incomprehensible husband at this time, then you will only make yourself more devastated.
For anxious parents, sometimes, it's really not suitable to have a second child.
Because of this anxiety, after having a second child, I will let myself collapse once.
And every collapse invisibly affects his body and family relationships.
Reason 5: It is not easy to raise a baby, even if you already have experience
In the past, raising a baby mainly relied on the baby's self-reliance.
But now, how can parents be willing to let their babies be so free-range?
It takes a lot of energy to raise a baby, even if you already have the experience of being the boss.
Because, the upbringing of boys and girls is not the same;
Because, children have their own personalities, different personalities, parenting is different;
Because, in the process of nurturing, there are too many uncertainties......
The growth of a baby consumes countless efforts from parents.
Nursing development when I was a child, learning problems when I was a student, personality and parent-child relationship problems in adolescence, and marriage and work problems when I grew up......
There's not a single one that doesn't need to be worried.
Even if our children have children, we will still worry about it.
Like Pistachio was hospitalized when she was sick before, her grandmother couldn't sleep all night in her hometown.
Although it was just a pneumonia, in the eyes of the family, they were reluctant to let the child suffer from this.
In the end, Grandma Pistachio rushed to the hospital, and she was always uneasy if she didn't take care of her personally.
This kind of mentality is somewhat more or less than that of parents.
Raising a baby, we are also slowly groping.
To raise a baby, we have to grope it again;
To raise two babies, we have to grope twice.
Reason 6: I want to leave a little space for myself
Have you ever thought about this last reason?
After getting married and having children, do you have any room for yourself?
Many mothers are either taking care of the baby, doing housework, or working to make money.
Do you still have time to do what you want to do?
If there is a baby, then when the baby grows up, we may still have time to learn the hobbies we want to learn and go to the places we want to go.
But there are two babies, whether it is for the sake of economy or time, there may not be any such opportunities.
Therefore, many mothers are reluctant to have a second child because they also want to love themselves well, give themselves a certain amount of space, meet their own needs, and achieve the happiness index they want.
Are you?
Topic discussion: After reading it, do you still want a second child?
PS: The picture source is the Internet, invaded and deleted!