So, you're not alone

Pain is like quicksand, the harder you try, the more you don't want to fall, the faster you fall. The first step to climbing out of the quicksand is to stop struggling.

There is a secret and a fact that there is one thing that needs to be known, that is, other people are as miserable as you, we all have pain, all human beings, as long as they do not die early, will feel or will feel the pain of losing a loved one, everyone will, or will, feel physical and psychological pain, everyone will feel sadness, disappointment, anxiety, fear and confusion, we have all had feelings of embarrassment, humiliation, or shame, everyone has indescribable pain and secrets, We are accustomed to showing a brilliant happy face and pretending that everything is going well and life is going well, but this is not the case, nor can it be so. To be born as a human being is to feel more incalculable amounts of pain than any other creature on this earth. So, you're not alone.

Many times we will be surprised afterwards, why can we do such a thing, why we are so stupid, so stupid, so that we can't do a good job, more guilt and self-blame will only make it more difficult for us to change, the way of escaping never works, can only be paranoid self-deception. I am willing to accept this possibility, I am deeply sympathetic to myself for how hard I have been trying to cope with the pain, don't blame myself, don't scold myself, when the method of escape doesn't work, I will never blame myself again, not blaming does not mean not admitting mistakes, but to leave more effort for the next action and change, this is what should be done.

Repressing ourselves stirs up emotions and words, and avoidance doubles the pain, because we have to deal not only with immediate pain, but also with the pain of not being there, and what can really make a difference is action, and only by going farther and farther can we really eliminate this pain. The reason why a child can learn to walk is only because of continuous failure and continuous attempts, if a child is afraid of falling down and is afraid of being ugly, he will never learn to walk, this is not to find a reason for making a mistake, this is to find strength to get out of the mistake.

Do you remember the last time, the last time you made a success in something, how much effort and trying you made, your ability is beyond your imagination. Perhaps in our view many people have easily achieved success in the eyes of the world, the world is fair and unfair, we have to overcome only ourselves, the only object of reference is only ourselves, when you are self-pity, you miss the time to change, miss the opportunity to solve the problem. When retreating and escaping, the possibility of progress is missed. Life is not a single choice question, some people are for power, some are for fame, some are for profit, some are for peace and security, some people are for peace and security, and some people want it all, what you want, only the deep inside of your heart knows.

So, accept yourself as you are now, don't blame him, accompany him to grow, it doesn't matter if he fails, get up and continue to fight, you will eventually go where you want to go.